pregnancy books

[lazycat]

There are so many books about what happens physically during pregnancy - how your body changes, what goes on & how your baby grows etc., but what about how you feel, and how your life changes? Can anyone recommend books about this?

[bumperlicious]

Can't help you with the books I'm afraid, but I think it's because how you feel and how your life changes is different for everyone, whereas physical changes are pretty universal.

You don't necessarily need a book to tell you about stuff like that, my recommendation would be to spend lots of time asking questions on mumsnet! Being honest about how you feel, and being aware that other people are not always honest about how their pg is going.

I spent the first 7 months of my pg pretty miserable, and could only focus on the negative aspects, and didn't hide the fact from other people either (e.g. "you must be so excited?" "Actually I'm not - I feel like sh*t and I'm scared out of my mind!"). But I had some time off work and completely changed how I feel about having a baby (if not about being pg!). Now I'm back to the freaked out wobbly bit but that's only coz I only have 6 wks to go and am uncomfortable as hell (see, told you I was honest).

Anyway, I know that's not what you were really after, I guess I just wanted to demonstrate that some people don't find pregnancy to be all it's cracked up to be, and if you feel like that remember there are other people feeling the same way as you.

[MrsBadger]

Libby Purves - How Not To Be A Perfect Mother

only one worth buying IMO

took all the rest back to lib / gave back to lenders / sent to charity shop etc except for 'What to expect when you're expecting' which I put in the recycling as it was so awful I couldn't bear the thought of another woman being taken in by its twaddle.

Naomi Wolf's 'Misconceptions' is scary but v honest and def worth a read.

[sar123]

I would recommend Rachel Cusk - A Life's Work: On becoming a mother. Here's the review from Amazon which says it much better than i could

Amazon.co.uk Review
Rachel Cusk's A Life's Work is the tale of her pregnancy and the birth of her daughter Albertine, which follows the ups and downs of the life of this first-time mother up to the time when her infant takes her first steps. Those moments, whether breastfeeding, coping with colic, enjoying her first smile or feeling free and yet trapped when away from her daughter, are told in raw and honest detail. Moments become hours, days, months and suddenly yearsone colicky night can seem like any others for months, then suddenly distressed night-time crying is a thing of the past. Cusk has subtitled her book "On Becoming a Mother", and while other mothers may find similarities of experience within its pagesperhaps relief at not being the first or last mother who cannot leave her baby to cry, whatever the healthcare manuals might say--this is an account of her own unique experience with her daughter.
Saturating the text is her almost unbelievable ignorance and naïvete about looking after babies. However, she herself admits on the very first page that "My own strategy was to deny it [childbirth] and so I arrived at the fact of motherhood shocked and unprepared, ignorant of what the consequences of this arrival would be". Cusk reads Dr Spock, Penelope Leach and the library of baby-care "experts" after the birth, and amusingly dismisses or agrees with their advice. She also intersperses her trials with excerpts from Jane Eyre's imprisonment in the Red Room to Lily Bart's childlessness in The House of Mirth and Coleridge's "cradled infant" in "Frost at Midnight".

Cusk achieves engaging, amusing and touching reading out of what could be the interminable boredom of a crying, sticky, demanding baby. Despite her constant cries of fear of imprisonment by this "tetchy monarch", her love cannot help but seep through her moans and complaints, together with her almost frightened realisation that her daughter, even at a week old, is a separate person. Cusk acknowledges her "stepdaughter, friend and ultimate ally", with the hope that she will one day read and like the book. Perhaps she should wait until she is pregnant with Cusk's first grandchild to be aware that her new experience is a very old story. --Olivia Dickinson

[FLIER]

a light hearted look at it, which i enjoyed before and during my 1st preg was "The rough guide to pregnancy" by Kaz Cooke

[lazycat]

Thank you very much for your recommendations - have ordered some of them.

bumperlicious - you are right about MN! I've even recommended it to my own mum...

Mrs Badger - I also bought 'what to expect when you're expecting' and found it disappointing.

[Nbg]

I would really recommend Vicky Iovine's Best friends guide to Pregnancy.

If nothing else, it will give you a really good laugh.
It is very informative too but funny more than anything else.

[Nikki76]

Agree with Nbg - enjoyed her books so much I am now reading the Best Friends Guide to Toddlers as DS is coming up for one year in three weeks!!!

[lazycat]

The bf guides are great - tone is much nicer than all the medical/academic stuff you get in other books.

[time4tea]

i agree about bf guides, for a laugh as well as some good information. good stuff which is more serious is Sheila Kitzengers 'the year after birth' - lots on emotional side of things, recovering health and strength (I'd also recommend doing pilates for this) feelings (wonderful and difficult alike) about the baby.

a new book which I think is a must (apparently there was a big display of them in the local bookshop - lots of young families around here) is Baby-proofing Your Marriage: How to Laugh More, Argue Less and Communicate Better as Your Family Grows (Paperback)
by Stacie Cockrell (Author), Cathy O'Neill (Author), Julia Stone (Author).... having this when my first born arrived would have made for a much less rocky couple of years with DH.

also, for caring for the baby, Clare Byam-Cook's "What to Expect when you are breastfeeding and what if you can't" really helps...