Have just found out I'm preg with No2 - not sure how I feel about it

[Holymoly321]

DS is 17 months and have literally just done preg test and discovered I'm preg. I know there are hundreds of people who would be over the moon but I'm just not sure how I feel. I was preg a few months ago and lost it at around 9 weeks (it wasn't a planned preg and neither was this one really - it was just a case of 'well if it happens it happens'). DS is hard work and I'm not sure how I would feel about having another! Not really sure what the point of this post is about but DH is at work so doesnot yet know and I just wanted to get my thoughts out.

[SherlockLGJ]

It will be fine, it will be hard work but it will be fine.

[Holymoly321]

I am terrified! The thought of pregnancy, sleepless nights, sore nips weaning etc etc. But I've always thought that children should have siblings - it's just the reality of what that means is scary!

[SherlockLGJ]

But if you are terrified why are you playing Russian Roulette ??

My DS is an only child for medical reasons, if two children does not feel right for you, then do not be pressured by society into having a sibling.

[lulumama]

well, you have options, but you need to get your head straight


if you always thought you would have more kids eventually, then that is fine, but if you are doing this for the sake of it, then it is a recipe for disaster.

need a long talk with DH too

[Holymoly321]

That is a good question sherlock! One minute I think about how much fun i had with my brothers when I was young and I want that for DS, the next I'm thinking about what it would be like to be a mother to two and then I get the fear!

[Holymoly321]

I just feel so confused lulumama. I had been thinking of trying to find part time work so that DS could go to nursery 2 days a week for the interaction with other kids, but this preg could put a spanner in the works with that! i mean, who wants to hire a mum who has another on the way?

[lulumama]

well, you are only just pregnant, so potentially you could work until you are 8 months pregnant, if you wanted....and DS could have some time at nursery....

or you can do different things with him so he can interact with other kids, mum and baby groups, coffee mornings etc..

can he still go to nursery for a couple of sessions, if you don;t work?

or you cut your losses and put all your plans on hold until after baby 2 has arrived....

at some level, you must have wanted more kids, if you were not taking precautions, so might be the time to bite the bullet

[madmumNika]

Big hugs holymoly (((( ))))
I think even when planned 'properly' finding out you are preggers is v v emotional (add to that the soup of crazy hormones already circulating in your blood!). I am 20 wks pregnant with no. 2, DS will be 2 &1/4 when LO arrives, and I am a little terrified too. BUT like you have said I always wanted sibling(s) for DS, I can't imagine life without my sister, and also I have a few close friends with 3 & even 4 kids who are coping, somehow, and have managed to assure me that when the time comes I too will cope (even if the housework falls to pot etc etc). Also my DS is pretty hard work and other mums have said I might actually find he is much better entertained by a sibling (once over 6 months old, or latest once it can walk)... I'm hoping this is true and will just somehow survive the early infant-hood!

The main thing is to talk it over in detail with DH, you do have lots of options at this stage and shouldn't feel pressure from anyone. Trust your instincts.