SIL & baby envy

Feistype · 2017-01-19 08:26:47

I'll try to keep this short and sweet (if at all possible) but I have a long history of fertility issues. I have PCOS, endometriosis and only one ovary due to the damage that's been caused. It took us years to conceive our first child and we were extremely lucky!! But low and behold, I'm now expecting again with our second child after 16 months of trying! I was seeing a fertility specialist who had booked me in for surgery for my endometriosis and before that surgery could go ahead, we found out the amazing news that we're expecting again. So... you'd have thought that maybe our family would be happy, right? We announced the news to my husband's family (his parents, brother and SIL) on Christmas Eve. The first thing my SIL did was pick up the phone and message her best friend informing her of our news?! Right there in front of me whilst DH's parents were congratulating us. I then later discovered that she was crying in the lounge whilst I was in another room...... I just don't know how to take this?! I would understand if her and OH had actually been trying for a baby but they haven't. She is still on the pill (I know this for a fact) and she has 5 months left of her degree. She bangs on about the fact that she is desperate to be a mother and that they will start trying as soon as she's finished studying. This is after saying, just before we announced our first pregnancy, that her and her husband had decided that they don't want children.... MIL tried to explain that their feelings may change... argument ensued. It's not only that, she has always made comments and somehow turned every conversation into one about her. We brought our DD home from hospital and the first thing she said was that her DH was going to be a work-from-home father because they didn't want him to miss out working away (my husband works away a lot!!). She messaged me asking how things were going with the pregnancy because I have a terrible past medical history and her response was "This having kids thing isn't fun at all, is it? I'm absolutely dreading it TBH" errr? Then banged on about how terrible her sister's morning sickness was with both her pregnancies and that she's absolutely dreading it. It's like she doesn't understand that no two pregnancies are the same. I just don't know how to handle her to be honest. We used to be so close and since DH and I got engaged, she's really turned into a different person. She didn't congratulate us when we got engaged, made life as difficult as possible during the planning of our marriage and now she's being funny about the fact that I'm pregnant again!? To be honest, the fact that she cried has just put a big black cloud over what we thought would be a happy time. I feel sad that she's sad but also a little confused and tired. I suppose I'm not being great on the empathy front but I just don't 'get it'. If they had been trying and it wasn't happening and she was heart broken, we would have announced our happy news in a totally different way because I KNOW first hand how it feels. I feel as though she's going to be competing with me for the rest of my life! When will this end?! Anyone else have this issue with DSIL?!

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Pregnancy

This thread has been deleted

We've been in contact with the OP and we think it's best that we remove this.