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Announcing pregnancy later than usual.

(42 Posts)
UnicornPee Fri 23-Sep-16 19:17:01

With my first two pregnancies I told everyone as soon as I'd had my 12 week scan.

However this time I'm holding off (currently 14 weeks and only my OH knows)

What's the latest you all announced it?

I fear people will think I'm weird if I wait to about 18 weeks or maybe later.

My main reason is I'm dreading telling work as it will totally change their thoughts on me (all 4 bosses are non maternal career driven women who have recently promoted me and think the sun shines outta my arse but will hate to find out I'm pregnant and will be leaving!!)

GraceGrape Fri 23-Sep-16 19:24:50

I didn't announce my second pregnancy until after the 20 week scan, although I had told my parents and I did tell my boss privately.My reasons were because I'd had some problems with the pregnancy. If your reason for not telling them is because you don't want them to be annoyed you might want to reconsider. What if they are more annoyed that you've left it later to tell them so they have less time to think about how they will cover your maternity leave?

XinnaJane Fri 23-Sep-16 19:28:05

Grace didn't people realise? I had to tell people before they guessed - it was becoming really obvious!

Dontyoulovecalpol Fri 23-Sep-16 19:29:39

I told our parents and my boss earlier but didn't tell anyone else until about 18 weeks. I was a bit embarrassed and didn't know how to just come out with it!

Trulyamnearanear Fri 23-Sep-16 19:34:40

I waited until 20 weeks. Partly paranoia about something being wrong, not wanting to tell ds1 until we knew the sex and knowing that work would be dicks about it. Luckily I'm fat so they didn't notice the bump grin

AppleJac Fri 23-Sep-16 19:36:15

I'm only 9 weeks but I won't be telling people until 20 weeks.

When I was pregnant with dd I told everyone as soon as I knew and it felt a very long pregnancy!

With this pregnancy it's going to be a shock as I was always so adamant that I wouldn't be having a 2nd. Dd is almost school age.

I just want to avoid all the pregnancy and baby talk and unwanted advice for as long as possible!

nennyrainbow Fri 23-Sep-16 19:36:43

15 weeks with my first when I told work and extended family / friends.

With my later pregnancies, I waited until after the 20 week scan each time. I wasn't working by this time so it was only family and friends to tell. I also didn't do a 'big announcement' with these and mostly just waited for people to find out / notice. Had a small bump with all of them so it wasn't at all obvious. Most people only noticed in the third trimester.

smEGGontoast Fri 23-Sep-16 19:37:27

I'm 17 weeks and we've just told everyone. Hadn't told a soul, not even parents. Nobody guessed, it's only been obvious in the last 2 weeks and I've worn baggy tops and kept my head down. It's actually been really lovely keeping it to ourselves.

UnicornPee Fri 23-Sep-16 19:37:34

No can't reconsider. They won't mind the stage I tell them. They'll just be pissed off that they'll have to replace me and will also shun me from the circle of secrets

AbbeyRoadCrossing Fri 23-Sep-16 19:42:32

I told people other than immediate family after the twenty week scan. Work were informed at 25 weeks - which is fine to do. In my experience of two pregnancies they recruited at the last minute anyway

2sCompany Fri 23-Sep-16 19:45:32

I got my bfp the same day I got a new job. So, although it might sound a bit sneaky, I don't plan on telling anyone 'til absolutely necessary. Also ensuring that I always have food in my vicinity so any weight gain will be attributed to that! I just want to prove my worth before anyone judges me or thinks badly of me for my terrible timing.

Good luck op. Congratulations on the pregnancy and promotion smile

2sCompany Fri 23-Sep-16 19:47:05

Oh and legally I believe you have to let work know by the 15th week before 'expected week of confinement'

chloechloe Fri 23-Sep-16 20:11:04

With my 1st I told them after the 12w scan which was earlier than I wanted, as I was on contract but up for a pernanent job and knew it would go down badly if I'd kept it from them.

This time I told them at 24w and there was no criticism of it being so late.

UnicornPee Fri 23-Sep-16 20:17:44

Thank you all. I'm glad to hear others have waited later than the usual 12 weeks. I too kind of like the fact it's my secret.
I think I'll do it after the 20 week scan xx

AliceThrewTheFookingGlass Fri 23-Sep-16 20:24:08

We didn't tell anyone until I was about 24-26 weeks with my first. No real reason why except we were overwhelmed. The pregnancy came as a shock. I was very ill and went to hospital genuinely thinking I was on deaths door. The nurse after testing my urine for ketones (and HCG!) very casually asked where I was having my baby. If was the first we knew about it! Our families and friends live many miles away so it was easy not to tell.

With my second i waited until 16 weeks and I had a healthy looking scan.

Now because of my tendency to hide it so long, whenever I mention that i feel slightly unwell I am questioned by family wether I am pregnant.. grin

AliceThrewTheFookingGlass Fri 23-Sep-16 20:24:23

We didn't tell anyone until I was about 24-26 weeks with my first. No real reason why except we were overwhelmed. The pregnancy came as a shock. I was very ill and went to hospital genuinely thinking I was on deaths door. The nurse after testing my urine for ketones (and HCG!) very casually asked where I was having my baby. If was the first we knew about it! Our families and friends live many miles away so it was easy not to tell.

With my second i waited until 16 weeks and I had a healthy looking scan.

Now because of my tendency to hide it so long, whenever I mention that i feel slightly unwell I am questioned by family wether I am pregnant.. grin

wayway13 Fri 23-Sep-16 20:25:48

We announced my current pregnancy after our 20 week scan. We told immediate family at 12 weeks but no one else. A lot of people were shocked that we'd kept it quiet for so long.

AliceThrewTheFookingGlass Fri 23-Sep-16 20:25:52

Sorry I realise that is irrelevant to your main worry about work blush

museumum Fri 23-Sep-16 20:31:05

I'm self employed and had to work out different strategies for each client and tell them face to face so it was 16 weeks before I could "go public".

museumum Fri 23-Sep-16 20:32:05

The most stressful parts were worrying about being seen at midwife appts and I really wanted to do antenatal yoga but again couldn't risk being seen sad

donajimena Fri 23-Sep-16 20:37:19

On my second it was 19 weeks. I was a bit ashamed tbh because my partner was a twat and even I couldn't believe I would be stupid enough to do it twice (double contraception failure. I don't think anyone believes in contraception failure until your contraception fails..)
So I squeezed myself into 'normal' clothes until I couldn't squeeze any longer..

hopeful31yrs Fri 23-Sep-16 21:41:17

This second pregnancy I didn't tell anyone specifically. We had to go through genetic testing and cardiac scans and didn't know what we were facing ourselves. I just let people ask when they were brave enough or it filtered through others. We were 22 weeks plus when people started asking.

Nikki2ol6 Fri 23-Sep-16 21:44:20

We were going to wait until 20weeks after our scan. But then we got some devastating news about our baby's heart not developing normally so we had to wait 5 days to see soecalists. Then they told us we had a very high chance of having a chromosome abnormality. So we had an amnio done and had to wait 2 weeks for those results. Once you came back all clear we had to get our heads around it all and announced it st around 24 weeks

AButterflyLightsBesideUs Fri 23-Sep-16 22:11:38

22 weeks here and only just started telling a few friends (closest friends and parents have known for ages as I was really sick). I'm still dressing to hide it for the school run etc, still not ready for it to be public knowledge. I personally would prefer to just announce to wider family after the birth. I've had 2 second trimester losses though so have a lot of difficult feelings around pregnancy and am currently seeing an NHS therapist to try and manage the anxiety etc.

welshweasel Fri 23-Sep-16 22:17:47

Close friends and family knew from 4 weeks (IVF pregnancy) but were sworn to secrecy as didn't tell work until 20 weeks (found out I was pregnant the day of my interview). Once I told work I went public on Facebook. No one commented on how long I left it and I reckon I could have hidden it for a few more weeks before anyone would have noticed.

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