Two traumatic births - c section next time?

[chocciemum1]

Hi everyone

I'd be really grateful to know what you think about this....

I had really awful experiences with the births of our two children, which have now left me totally traumatised at the thought of going through it all again.

Without setting out all the gory details, dc1 got stuck and was very distressed after 90 mins of pushing. I vividly remember the whole world and their dog (or so it felt) appearing in my room in a hurry and then having an urgent episiotomy (totally no time for the local anaesthetic to kick in), forceps and a third degree tear. The hospital was very busy and I remember having to wait for 8 hours after the birth (not allowed food or water) before they were able to take me to theatre for a spinal so they could repair the damage. It really affected the first couple of months with my daughter as I felt so ill from it all.

Then with dc2, he also got stuck after an age of pushing, and I got taken to theatre where I ended up having to have oxygen as I had a panic attack, and he was eventually born with ventouse and another episiotomy. Again I was in such a bad way after this, and had lost a lot of blood (again!), that I felt pretty useless in the first few weeks and months with him.

We would love to have another baby but I literally feel sick at the thought of going through all that again. I know that a section is a big operation and not to be undertaken lightly, but I can't imagine that I would be in a worse state after that than I was after the previous 2 births.

What do you think - I know there is no "right" for me to have a section, but if I beg the midwife do you think my previous experiences are likely to have any influence at all?

[WorldsBiggestGrotbag]

I'm sorry for your bad experiences. Yes you absolutely would have a strong case to push for a c-section. It might be worth speaking to your GP in advance of TTC as there may be some birth trauma counselling you can access.

[nutelladipper]

Hi,
I've had two horrible births. In
Summary first was ventouse and episiotomy after 36hr labour where mistakes were made a failed epidural (just numbed from thighs down) etc etc.

Dc2 was distressed, panic delivery with episiotomy and another2nd degree tear.

Took a good few weeks to physically even start to feel like I was healing. Mentally felt like I'd failed. Again.

I'm now pregnant - 28 wks. I mentioned early on at booking in appointment that I wanted a c section. (It gets slightly confusing here as I'd been told when my dc2 was delivered she had shoulder dystocia which it turns out I didn't do we've asked for an explanation as to why me and my husband have been told that!)anyway because of the apparent shoulder issue I had to be see by consultant anyway. That appointment was 3 weeks ago. It wasn't a good appointment as this was where they reviewed notes and i was told no shoulder dystocia. I ended up blubbing uncontrollably like a baby and couldn't even formulate a sentence. They agreed I was clearly traumatised. They referred me to a specialist midwife to help me come to terms with both deliveries. Before I left appointment with consultant she said she'd see me at 34 wks and would "do whatever I wanted and would support me with section if that's my decision). So I need the midwife team next week!!!

So I'm summary I don't know what the final decision will be but it's looking like I won't have to beg for one.

Sorry HUGE response!

Happy to keep you posted.

X

[nutelladipper]

Sorry loads of typos but it should say "I meet midwife team next week"

[Halleberry]

You definitly have a strong case for a c section and to be honest, nowadays they can't refuse you one if your adamant you want one. I had an EMCS with my DS 10 years ago. He was breech, early and in distress. It all happened so quick I can barely remember it. But I healed extremely well. This time round I sort of knew from the start I wanted a section. I had thought I may like to expereince a natural birth but I suffer from many mental health issues and when I was pregnant I went dramatically down hill. My mental health has never actually been so bad. It got so bad my prenatal specialist psychiatrist recommended to my doctor that I have the baby as soon as safely possible so I had my ELCS 2 weeks ago today at 38+2. It was a totally different experience. It felt so good to know when It was all going to happen. I was so organised. I had 2 steroid injections the days before I had her just to be on the safe side because it was before 39 weeks (this helps their lungs). I couldn't eat or drink anything after midnight the night before and tbh that was the most annoying part because I was super thirsty. I went in at 7:30am. Went to a wee room to lay on the bed and have all my checks done. I had a wee nap and when I woke up it was time to go to theatre. My fiancé was there every step of the way. I had my spinal which numbed Me from above my tummy and down and she was out within 10
Minutes. Beautiful, healthy and amazing. It took a few hours for the numbness to wear off and a few days of pain killers (I won't lie I was a lot sorer this time round). But I got
Out after 48 hours and we are both doing well. I still have sore days where I need to take it easy but it was worth it. The girl in the bed next to me went through 16 hours of labour and sheer hell before she was rushed for an EMCS anyway. Thank god I never had to go through All that just to have to have a section anyway! The important thing to remember is that its your God given right to have your baby anyway you want. Don't be bullied (ive heard of this happening) into a vaginal birth if it's not what you want. They cannot refuse you this no matter how much they try and scare monger you x good luck x

[Number3cometome]

I would definately push for a csection. They cannot refuse

[PixieChops]

I've had one traumatic birth ended up in labour for 4 days, didn't dilate, painkillers were insufficient and when I asked for an epidural so I could sleep I didn't get it until 12 hours later. After pushing for 90 minutes babies heart rate dropped, ended up in theatre with an episiotomy and forceps. DD ended up being fine.Since I've had literally no pelvic floor and within 3 months of going through that labour I got caught pregnant again! This time I've pushed to see a consultant, she took one look at my notes and told me I could have a c section this time. There's no way with a 1 year old that I could do THAT birth again. It was horrific. From what you've said I'm pretty sure they wouldn't even try refusing you one, my consultant didn't try to waive my opinion whatsoever and it sounds like you had a harder time than me! I'm due to have my c section in 3 weeks time. I'm nervous but more excited now as I've had an epidural before and know I'm fine with it, plus it should be a lot more relaxed this time round fingers crossed

[chocciemum1]

Thanks ladies! I really appreciate all your responses, I will definitely "push" for a section (excuse the pun!) and it's a great relief to hear so many of you think I'd be able to get it.

Nutella - good luck, keep me posted!!

[Christelle2207]

Hi. I had a traumatic birth a bit like your first and had similar concerns. I didn't have to "push" - my mw arranged a chat with a supervisor of midwives which was basically a debrief of what happened at my first birth. I said I wanted to chat to a consultant about a c section and she arranged this. The consultant then gave a very balanced view of both sides and said that although there was no physical reason for a section it was an acceptable request on psychological grounds given what had happened.
And this was after just 1 horrid birth not two. Only caveat was that I go away and think about it and make a final decision at 36 weeks. I was happy with this though you may not be.

I don't think you'll have to push too hard at all.
BTW I eventually opted for another vaginal birth, which turned out ok, but I felt completely comfortable that they would have let me have a section had I stood my ground.

[mrmakerwastespaper]

I had a very similar experience to you first time OP; SROM, induction, failed epidurals (three!), a big stuck baby, episiotomy, ventouse and a huge haemorrhage and subsequent transfusions. It affected me for a long time afterwards to the point where I still feel traumatised talking about it 2 years on.
Anyway, cutting a long story short I'm now pg with my second and from the outset requested a elcs. It took some strong stuff on my part not to be talked into another induction (never again!) but with the NICE guidelines tucked under my arm I was taken seriously and in having my elcs today at 39+1!
I had to attend lots of appointments in order to be approved (which made me a bit annoyed as I don't think I needed anyone's approval) but just did it in order to get what I wanted -picked my battles!
Really hope you get what you want OP and good luck xx

[PixieChops]

Mr maker all the best for your section today! Let us know how it was and how you're getting on x

[mrmakerwastespaper]

Thanks Pixie. Iris Elizabeth was born at 14:08 weighing 10lb 6oz!
Glad I went for the sunroof option!

Seriously though, it was a lovely experience in comparison to my previous delivery. Keeping on top of pain relief and I'm feeling good!

Xx

[AnnieLewis]

Morning - I know its been said already but I also had very similar experiences with DC1 and DC2 (ventouse dc1, forceps dc2, both done in theatre with consent for csection signed etc)

I was also very traumatised but am currently 30 weeks and have also requested a csection. I would second the advice to read the NICE guidelines. If you get a Consultant who wont listen to you just calmly request they refer you to someone who is willing to perform a section for you. They have to honour maternal request. They will likely suggest you go and look at the birth centre and meet with the natural birth person blah blah. I just smiled and nodded and stuck to my guns.

Don't expect to get a section confirmed early on though, I have an appt again at 34 weeks with consultant again to discuss and check I haven't changed my mind.

I did nearly laugh in her face when she informed me I had actually had 2 'successful' vaginal deliveries..... No love, that is not what I'd term 'successful...

And congrats mrsmaker yikes - I'm glad you went for the sunroof exit too!!!!

[PixieChops]

Can't believe she would say that to you Annie! Anything that doesn't end up in an emergency c section I suppose they class as "successful" what a load of codswallop!!
Mr maker congratulations to you and your family and so pleased you're recovering well. thanks for letting us know how you are, I'm so grateful as I'm really nervous about my c section but there's no way I can give birth naturally again so it's either sun roof or he's stuck in there forever lol

[nutelladipper]

Had my meeting with mw to discuss previous births. It was useful and I feel better having her reassure me I didn't nothing wrong but at the moment I don't feel any less anxious about a vaginal delivery so I think I'm still leaning to having a section. I've to decide by consultant appointment at 34 weeks.
As I'm classed as having no medical reason for c section and it being psychological I may need to be referred to mental health team.
I'll update again in 6 weeks when I've seen consultant.
X