Likely to be denied c-section. Need help preparing for labour.. Do big babies mean an earlier arrival?

[Firstpregnancy2014]

I saw my midwife today who warned me im very likely to be denied a c-section. I have requested one at a consulant appointment and i have an appointment with head of midwives next wednesday for her desicion- which im now convinced will be no.

c-section was requested for personal reasons not medical, i was really struggling to cope when found out was pregnant- my mum took me to councilling to help with my fear of giving birth, she took me round all the delivery rooms at local hospital and tried to help my fear. Then she sadly took her own life a few weeks ago. I was too selfish to realise she needed me aswell. She was my birthing partner, my partner works away and isnt on leave untill 3 weeks after im due. Theres noone else i want there. I dont even want to step back in the delivery rooms. I stood in there 2 days before she took her life while she hugged me and told me itll be fine. im 22. I know i need to get over this fear but this has just made it harder

Im so scared now. Im 32 weeks need to get my head around giving birth. Also baby is measuring about 2 weeks big and has been above the 90th centile throughout- does this mean baby could come earlier??

I know that i need to pack a hospital bag- is there anything else i need to do?

[Firstpregnancy2014]

Also i have continued to go to counselling since my mums passing. The counseller suggested the c-section to create a new birth experience

Now im just terrified

[SassySugarCane]

Why is it their decision? It should be yours, if you want a section you should get one.

I am sorry about your mother.

[Firstpregnancy2014]

My midwives words were ' we cant just hand out a c-section to everyone that asks for one'

Im unsure whether to try put up a fight next week or to just accept the head of midwives decision

[drwitch]

Well according the
link to NHS page if after having conselling you still are scared of giving birth you should be offered a section. So your midwife is perhaps not entirely correct

[Firstpregnancy2014]

She mentioned the fact i paid for my own counselling and didnt ask them for it. Im unsure why this would make a difference

[WhyOWhyWouldYou]

They should refer you to talk to a counsellor for an assessment on mental health grounds. If after that you still want a csection they should give you one or put you in touch with another NHS consultant that will do it.

Read the NICE guidelines on planned c sections. Go armed with facts.

Also as your counsellor is private could you ask them to write a letter, expressing their view? Private counsellors tend to be more than happy to do this for you to help you get what you need from drs, etc.

If a csection is what you really really want, stand your ground, be clear on your reasons and keep referring back to NICE guidelines.

[WhyOWhyWouldYou]

Also I'm so sorry about your mom.

[DecaffTastesWeird]

Hi OP

Sorry to hear about your mum.

Would there be an option for you to go and see an NHS counsellor to discuss? I don't think they can just refuse you a c-sec without any support or discussion.

[WhyOWhyWouldYou]

Oh and its not just handing a csection out because you asked for it - its giving a csection due to mental health (severe anxiety). Let's face it you wouldn't be asking for/expecting one if its just that you fancied one, not that natural labour petrified you.

[Rockchick1984]

So sorry to hear about your mum

No experience on elective c sections, but do make sure you do lots of research on recovery etc if you won't have a lot of practical support in the first few weeks. I've had 2 vaginal deliveries and recovered far quicker than friends who had C sections. Obviously it's different for everyone, but just something to take into consideration.

[BarryGoosey]

Firstly - don't let the bump measurements worry you. I have two friends who were told their babies would be huge and were both just over 7lbs.

With me, on the other hand, I measured two weeks behind throughout and at a 32 week scan was told my ds was on the 50% percentile for weight. He was 9lb 4oz!! I had a vb with forceps at the end, with an episiotomy but I healed really quickly, had no pain after and was up and about straight away. And everything is completely back to normal "down there"! So please don't worry about your baby's size.

[redexpat]

I think the point about not seeing an nhs councillor maybe them needing to prove that you are getting help and that the mental illness is real. I would take some form of proof from your councillor and another person woth you to the appt. Could you talk to your gp in tje meantime? Dont let them minimalise or trivialise your mh. So sorry about your mum. If they say no, would a doula be an option for you?

[FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse]

I'm so sorry for your loss, op it's not your fault. Your mum was ill. A terrible and horrible illness that took her away from you. It's really not your fault you didn't see it coming :(

This is your birth, your body, and you are not making this decision for flippant reasons. Do you have someone who can come with you to argue your case if they refuse?

As others have said, if they say no because your counsellor was non-nhs then you must demand an immediate referral for assessment.

Can you ask your counsellor to write a letter for you to take with you, advising that you need a C-Section?