Moses basket or straight to the cot?

[Bellyrub1980]

Hiya,

This is my first pregnancy and just wanted to gather some opinions on sleeping arrangements in the first few months as I'm getting varied opinions from friends/family.

We live in a newly built very small 2 up 2 down house. The nursery is about 3 paces from our room, If my partner sleeps in the spare room I can hear him breathing!! So with the doors open it's pretty much like being in the same room.

I guess the options are:

1: Moses basket in our bedroom initially, prior to moving to the nursery and then into the cot when Moses basket too small.

2: Moses basket in nursery eventually moving to cot when basket too small

1. Straight to cot in nursery.
   

We've had people very passionately advocate each of these options for their own reasons.

We're leaning towards trying to start put with the baby in his/her own room. But is this potentially dangerous? There's enough room for a Moses basket in our room so we have the option.

Thanks in advance!

[makeminea6x]

Sleeping in your room is much safer for the baby because it will here your breathing which reminds it to keep breathing. Sounds mad, but its true!

Also if the basket is right by your bed, and you don't have to get out of bed to get the baby out in the night, trust me that will make a difference when its the fifth time that night!

So I would strongly strongly advocate having the baby in your room unless it really doesn't work for your family (by which I mean you, DH and the baby).

[makeminea6x]

Hear not here!

[ilovepowerhoop]

We never had a Moses basket but used a crib in our room instead. It's advised to keep them in the same room for the first 6 months to help prevent cot death. It isn't so you can hear them but so that they can hear you.

I would find some sleeping arrangement where they are in the same room as you and not put them in a different room from the start.

[ilovepowerhoop]

P.s. We used the crib and then managed to fit the cot in our room when they grew too big for the crib, so they could stay in with us for the 6 months recommended

[Bellyrub1980]

Thank you for the replies. That's amazing about the baby needing to hear us breathe.

My gut instinct tells me to keep the baby close by, that's what I want to do. I fell In love with the side cots that attach to your bed but unfortunately we wouldn't have the room next to our bed.

But believe it or not, we've genuinely been told by more friends and family (all ovely, caring, responsible people) to try and avoid the 'sleeping in the same room' thing. And now DP (who has no previous baby experience) is converted!

I think my DP might need some convincing that same room sleeping is the best course of action. Do the midwives give leaflets or advice on this? I think if he heard it from them or a professional of some kind he'd go with it, especially if it's about safety.

[bouncinbean]

A cot that can be used bedside (either a specific bedside cot or one you can manually leave a side off) will reduce the space needed in your bedroom if thats an issue.
As mentioned it's not about whether you can hear the baby it's so that the baby can hear the subtle sounds of you and your partner throughout the evening and night.
We never bothered with a moses basket for space/clutter reasons. For naps in the day we used her pram carrycot.

[bouncinbean]

The net bednest is quite small... Also there are baby hammock type things which don't seem to take much room but I think they are small so like a moses basket may not last long...

[bouncinbean]

That should say nct bednest!

[StillaChocoholic]

I'd ask your midwife for a SIDS leaflet. She'll have one. That will explain about it being safer and reducing the risk of SIDS if the baby is in your room until 6 months.

[strawberryjam]

Get your partner to Google SIDS guidelines I would go for Moses basket or space saver cot in your room for true 6 months, remember it is all sleeps as well, day time too.

[Writerwannabe83]

Please, please keep your baby in with you.

As has been said, the safety reasons are the most important but secondly your baby needs to be near you. He's been inside you for 9 months, all he knows is you - can you imagine how scared he'd be to suddenly find himself in a whole new world and not even know where his mom is Babies can smell their mom and being a foot or so away from you in the Moses basket will be of huge comfort to him.

It saddens me to think of a tiny and new baby being parted from it's mom straight away and waking up and being alone. Babies need to feel a secure attachment and being in a room on his own from Day 1 is not the way to do that.

Definitely get your DH to speak to a professional as I cannot imagine a single one would say that your baby being on his own is a good thing in any way, shape or form!

Absolutely do not let your DH have his way on this. If he doesn't want to share a room with the baby then send him to sleep in the nursery!!!

[TarkaTheOtter]

Being in their own room doesn't guarantee good sleeping. Dd was in her own room at 8 weeks. She is a shocking sleeper even now she is over 2. I've spent two years traipsing between the two rooms in the middle of the night. Ds is still in with us at 5 months and is a significantly better sleeper.

[Bellyrub1980]

Thank you all! That's great advice. I'm on a mission now!! May have to move our room around a bit but will be worth it. DP will definitely go for it if it's due to avoiding SIDS. He really is learning from scratch, as am I. And I'm only 19 weeks so we're only just starting to think about stuff like this. It's crazy how many people (offline) have managed to sway us into thinking we should try and avoid same room sleeping. I'm kind of shocked. I guess our parents can be excused as advice has changed a lot in 30 years, but my friends/family who have recently had children....!!!

Already looking at baskets and cribs. We'd probably have to knock a wall down to use a side crib. Is at the end of our bed okay?

[Foxeym]

You are advised to keep baby with you until 6 months (as previously stated) my DC3 is in his cot beside us, he 7 months, and going in his room this weekend. This is completely different to when I had Dc1@2 15 years ago. Also when you are having to get up every hour in the first few weeks you will be thankful they are only a reach away ??

[QueenOfThorns]

Sleeping in the same room for 6 months is the current medical advice, see Lullaby Trust website

It's also important for naps during the day, so perhaps consider a Moses basket because you can carry this downstairs for daytime sleeps.

[ilovepowerhoop]

we had the crib and cot along the bottom of the bed as we couldnt fit it beside the bed. As long as they are in the same room then it doesnt matter where the cot/crib/moses basket is

[squizita]

I was considering this: www.toysrus.co.uk/Babies-R-Us/Nursery/Moses-Baskets-and-Cribs/SnuzPod-3-in-1-Bedside-Crib(0125465)

It can be a bedside crib, a normal crib and the basket lifts out for travel/moses basket naps in the day. Quite pricy but then again so are any wooden cribs, and you'd need a basket too with them!

[Mumto3dc]

Maybe take your dp to a midwife visit, it is standard advice for baby to be in your room for first 6 months. Has been since my 8yo was born so not some newfangled thing.

[HomeIsWhereTheGinIs]

OP, just a quick note, although the SIDS guidelines do advise keeping the baby in the same room for six months, please ignore the "so that it will hear you breathe and keep breathing". That's myth (and a ludicrous one - think about it, otherwise they'd stop breathing if left alone in a room at any point of the day or night for a few minutes). God knows where people get this nonsense from. The reason they advise keeping the baby in is for a variety of reasons, namely that you can get to them easily, you'll be sure to hear them, you're more likely to see if bedding rises up, you're more likely to be aware of the temperature because you're there too etc.

Anyway, none of my friends have lasted more than six weeks with the baby in the same room because of the sniffling / turning over etc. we've got a Moses basket for the first couple of weeks after the c-section so that I can feed easily in the night, but then he'll go into his crib in his nursery, with a video monitor. I would see how you go. As for the pps telling you to demand that your DH sleep elsewhere if he doesn't like it, that doesn't sound much like partnership to me. It's his child too and surely coming to a compromise is better than you evicting him? Each to their own though.

[makeminea6x]

home, it seems you are right about the breathing thing, can't find any evidence for it.

However it seems that you are wrong about your "reasons for keeping in the same room" - the evidence is that having the baby sleep in with you significantly reduces the risk of SIDS

I can't do links on my phone but check isisonline.org.uk

[ShineSmile]

How about cot in your room initially (next to your bed), and then move it to nursery whenever you feel ready?

[Writerwannabe83]

home - I would definitely evict my DH if he said he didn't want to share a room with the baby. If his main concern wasn't the safety of the baby then he can be the one to leave. I wouldn't 'compromise' my baby's safety just so he could have a good sleep.

[HomeIsWhereTheGinIs]

Makemine - exactly. My point was that it decreases the risk and I gave some examples of how. SIDS, by it's very nature, is caused by factors unknown. The six month advice is derived from statistical analysis of environmental factors of those infants that have died of it. There are contributing factors, one of which is temperature, another is smothering and many others. Advice given to ward off SIDS is based on common things that children that die had in common. Think about it, simple physical proximity wouldn't prevent death. Being in the same room so you can tell immediately if it gets too hot would.

writer as I said, all marriages are different. We tend to make those decisions together but each to their own.

[makeminea6x]

Sorry home but that website says that although they don't know why, it is the presence of the adult that provides the decreased risk of SIDS.

I don't think we can really base our decisions for safety on speculation about why they might work. Or maybe we can for our own babies, and I know I have (eg my babies don't nap in the same room as me) but I wouldn't want to make recommendations to others about this type of thing based on my own suppositions as opposed to evidence.

The ISIS website says the presence of an adult while the baby is sleeping may reduce the risk by 36%.

[makeminea6x]

And it is possible that babies regulate their breathing while deeply asleep based on what they sense around them. But as I can't find evidence for that, what I think might be the reason is immaterial when I'm advising someone about this, IYSWIM. Or at least that's how I feel.