Worried my stress will affect baby

[Poppet77]

I am very worried that my emotional state will be having a negative effect on baby. I am 28 weeks pregnant and have had some very stressful situations to deal with, such as a huge fight with an emotionally abusive mother, some nasty bullying in the workplace and then quite serious fanatical instability, and a house sale that is not moving. All of this is taking its toll and I have been very distraught at times. Any advice on how to cope and whether I this is seriously harming my unborn baby? Obviously this is also another major source of anxiety! Responsesuch appreciated.

[Poppet77]

Financial not fanatical!'

[livingzuid]

So sorry to hear you are struggling. I would go to your gp as soon as possible to discuss what support is available. There are a range of options from CBT to medication, the latter of which is perfectly safe to use in pregnancy. They may refer you to a perinatal psychiatric team as well - mine have been fantastic.

Chances are your baby will be absolutely fine, but it is always good to look at ways to reduce the amount of cortisol in your system, pregnant or not! And just speaking to someone independent like your gp will help :) Is there anyone in rl who you can also talk to? My gp referred me to somewhere which specialised in resolving workplace issues and they were brilliant. I'd also recommend citizens advice for any non-health issue.

Hope you feel better soon

[Eminybob]

I am 29 weeks pregnant and have been wondering the same thing. I am signed off work due to stress and my midwife had said that I need to do it for the sake of the baby, as I'm not sleeping etc.

However, I also had a bit of a scare with reduced movement and went for a check up at the hospital (baby is fine) and asked the midwife there if stress could cause any harm to the baby and she said no, but the baby is taking our resources and probably making the effects of the stress worse on us.

So mixed reviews. I would say try and get better for yourself, take time off work if you can, see your gp (not that they can prescribe anything with you being pg)
I'm actually going to try acupuncture as an alternative to meds on Friday.
If you get well it can only be good for the baby.

Congrats on your pregnancy by the way

[Eminybob]

Living what meds can be taken in pregnancy? My gp wouldn't give me anything as she said they've not been proven to be safe in pregnancy. In the past I've taken amitryptaline and cetalipram. (No idea on spelling for those sorry)

She didn't really have much of a clue though to be honest!

[Poppet77]

Thankyou. I did make an appointment with the GP and then ended up cancelling as wasnt sure whether they would be helpful, but i think I will make another appointment.

[squizita]

but the baby is taking our resources and probably making the effects of the stress worse on us. This is what I have been told.

You need to worry about yourself and insist on good care. You are a human being not an incubator - baby is most likely fine but YOUR mental and physical health doesn't vanish during pregnancy. :) Go to your GP. :)

[livingzuid]

Dr Google is not really anyone's friend in pregnancy so please don't look it up as it will probably make everything worse :)

I was categorically told by my psychiatrist that prolonged increased levels of cortisol are not good and I was to stay on my medication as I was very keen to come off it. I have bipolar disorder and take lithium so not quite what you need, but I have had friends take prozac which has been effective. I've been on a cocktail of different drugs for bipolar, hyperemesis and my thyroid and my baby is fine.

You need to switch GP if that is what you have been told! It is true that some drugs are not safe, including many anti psychotics, but there are anti depressants that are fine. If possible you need to get to a psychiatrist who specialises in treating pregnant women, normally part of the perinatal psychiatric team. I think you can also self refer to your community mental health team as well if needs be.

[livingzuid]

It's the blanket no drugs approach from some gps and midwives that makes me a bit cross. If that were the case then all of us on the hyperemesis thread would be severely malnourished and dehydrated and in my case, seriously mentally ill. The horror days of thalidomide are long gone (that would NEVER even come close to being licenced these days) and there are certain medications that are fine.

My drug for example is in a certain class where the benefits of taking it outweigh the risks ie it's more dangerous to not take it both for me and the baby. There's more research coming out now which shows it to be even less risky than they thought so I felt quite comfortable once it was all explained to me. The other factor was that if there was any damage to be done it would have happened by the time I found out so it made no difference anyway. If that makes sense :)

The advice on the NHS website is too generic - you need to get to a specialist. If your gp does not know then please push to see a psychiatrist. Don't let them fob you off. There is help and support out there for you.

[Gen35]

I think you should see the gp - if nothing else, a nice understanding gp is good to have on hand for when the baby comes. Some anecdotal reaassurance - my bf did an incredibly stressful job while pg, working til 1am many days, weekends, her dh was an imbecile and they later split up and her dc is bright and doing just fine. I'd go see the gp tbough, also, can you afford any practical steps like pregnancy yoga classes, massage etc?

[ChicaMomma]

yoga, yoga, and more yoga..

could not have gotten through this pregnancy without it.

i go to a class twice a week and the sense of calm during and after (like, for 24 hours) is amazing.

would also HIGHLY recommend Hypnobirthing CDs.

[livingzuid]

Exercise if you can do it is great. Even just putting some music on and walking for half an hour. But never feel like you are under pressure to do anything.

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed at the thought of having to go outside the house and actually the best thing to do is lie back and rest, focussing on deep breathing. I skipped several pilates classes as it was just too much and I felt my brain shutting down, but went when I felt up to it as it can be very beneficial. Take things at your own pace. One thing at a time :)

You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. If you want to crawl into bed and sleep, then do so. Lots of rest is vital so never feel bad about sleeping at 11am!

Very pleased you have an appointment - be sure to tell your everything about how you feel and how you react to certain situations (triggers for me are crowded places and too long a to-do list!).