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Pregnancy

Having panick attacks that are getting worse anyone out there been the same?

19 replies

Charlee · 17/08/2006 19:53

Ok i need someone who knows how im feeling here at the moment im having one of my panick attacks, its so stupid but i keep all of a sudden thinking s**t im going to have a baby and im going to have to go through labour and then look after it, its causing me to hyperventilate and cry a hell of alot which is so strange since i have done this all before and i have a lovley DS who's just coming 2 and i look after him fine with no probs.

I just cant stop these feeling's happening though! I want this baby so much it was planned and after 5 early m/c's im now 26 weeks pg i don't know why im being such a whimp!

Im not even sure what my fears are, i think its a combination of things really.

Please tell me im not the only person this has happened to!

I worry that if i think ' forget it and put it to the back of my mind then the time will come when i will go into labour and i will totally freak out.

But then i think maybe im just being silly and the time will come and i will be fine.

Any thoughts anyone?

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Charlee · 17/08/2006 20:50

bump?

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DumbledoresGirl · 17/08/2006 20:54

Hi Charlee (Lonelymum as was here, don't think you were around when I name changed)

Can you think of any reason why you might be panicking? Did you have a scarey time giving birth to ds?

I haven't really got any experience of this although I know I spent 9 months worrying about not being able to go through labour again - daft when it only takes a few hours. Maybe your hormones are messing you around?

orangegiraffe · 17/08/2006 20:56

Have you spoke to your midwife, this anxiety musn't be doing you and your unborn any good.
hugs to you x

Charlee · 17/08/2006 21:00

I have a few issues but nothing major i have had alot more mood swings this time round so maybe thats why a few things are bothering me i was thinking of asking for an elective c/s but at our hospital you have to have a good reason not sure these count.

Due to my medication i can't have an epidural if i have had my daily injection within 24hrs. I could NOT have done it last time without one.
I had gas and air last time and was continusley (sp?) sick and have had pethidin in the past and again even with anti sickness was very sick.
I tore badly with ds (nearly had to go to theatre) and i still can get tender to this day 2yrs later!

Thats the labour part really the rest is i suppose natural feelings like will i love this one as much as ds?
Will i cope?

ect ect

I feel so stupid i never even thought about labour or actually having a baby around when i was pg with ds i just went in to be induced had him and got on with it.

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Charlee · 17/08/2006 21:01

I have spoken to my midwife r.e the epidural thing and she said i may be able to be induced so i know when not to take my meds but i have to speak to my OBGYN but im not seeing him untill im 38 weeks and him and my midwife are both generally usless TBH. she said dont worry it will probably be quicker so you might not have time for an epidural anyway.

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FrannyandZooey · 17/08/2006 21:02

Oh Charlee

I think panic attacks can be caused by everyday stress and tiredness, and can focus on the most ridiculous things - not that your worries are ridiculous but you know what I mean. You know you are perfectly capable of giving birth and looking after your children and all of that, but the panic / anxiety is not rational. If you weren't focusing on your pregnancy, you might be convinced that you had cancer, or worried about the house, or thinking your dh was having an affair or something - do you see what I am getting at? Something completely daft, but you can't help obsessing about it.

I would tackle the cause which as I say, I reckon is tiredness and stress. Have you been sleeping any better lately? I know you have a very active life anyway and you sound quite overwhelmed with it all today. When do you get a break and time to relax? Are you getting enough (any?) help around the house?

Don't forget your hormones are a bit berserk as well. Tbh having a 2 year old and not getting enough sleep is enough to make anyone teary and panicky, without being pregnant on top of it.

Panic attacks are the pits, but they do pass and they will not harm you physically. What do you normally do when you feel one beginning?

Charlee · 17/08/2006 21:06

Thanks f&z you star

Im am thankfully getting alot of support around the house as my mum and my other half live here to and are v.helpfull i do also get the evenings and some day time to rest.

I am sleeping better aswell thanks.

I usually get them in the night and then i try and just breath deeply and tell myself i will be fine and im going to have tons of support. I guess its just getting a bit much today.

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Charlee · 17/08/2006 21:07

I think ot's just i had such a different attitude when pg with ds i was care free and just got on with it, although i was very ill so maybe i didnt have time to think about after the pregnancy and i saw labour as a way out of being so ill. maybe thats it i really dont know!

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DumbledoresGirl · 17/08/2006 21:12

Oh dear, yes you do have some issues to sort out don't you? No wonder you are panicking!

I think you should have a big long chat with your M/W about these issues as she will be able to put your mind at rest better than I can, but I would say this:

As a mother of four, I can tell you that none of my subsequent labours were anything like as bad as my first labour. So don't assume you will need an epidural - I was never lucky enough to be able to have one except when I had baby no 3 and then it failed! but you know, I pushed her out as quickly and as easily as anything - it was sooooooo different to any of the other births.

There may be other things you can have instead of G&A or pethidine. I had loads of G&A and also pehtidine no problems, but with my second baby I thought I would try another drug I heard the hospital offered. It was called Meptid and it works like peh=thidine but apparently without the side effects. If you chat to the M/W she might tell you your hospital uses the same or maybe you could ask for Meptid - it is worth a try.

As for loving the second baby - that is an entirely natural worry. I think a lot of mothers experience it. When I was in labour with No 2, just about to go into hospital, i had a last look at my ds1 asleep in his cot and had a quick cry because I felt I was on the brink of ruining things between us. I thought I was going to inflict on him and me a baby we would never love. OMG, that couldn't have been further from the truth. He is my sweetest child and ds1's constant companion. Honestly, the love you feel for your son will be replicated all over again for your new baby. None of your love for your son goes, but you instantly have a new amount of equal love for your new baby. You just wait and see if I am not right! And you will cope. If you coped with one, you can cope with two and all the baby care stuff comes back to you in a flash, the minute you hold your little one in your arms. Just be careful when you pick it up as you are used to your toddler and you tend to pick up the baby expecting the toddler's weight and sometimes nearly fling it over your shoulder!

But all in all, I would recommend speaking to your M/W about your labour concerns.

dinny · 17/08/2006 21:14

Charlee, I was terrified when pg with ds, so scare about labour (even though had relatively OK experience with dd, found it v frightening). Another poster sent me this fab book called Birth From Within, which really helped me. I've lent it to Lockets (who may be in labour as I write ) but I shall get it off her next time I see her and can send you it if you like...?

btw, my labour with ds was MUCH less scary and easier than dd's. have you thought about maybe getting a birth doula (I did and she was AMAZING, didn't even want gas with ds). here's the link to the UK website doula
can highly recomend my doula if you are in London...?

alo, I found active birth classes/pre-natal yoga really helped me. have you considered that?

take care, Dinny xx

Charlee · 17/08/2006 21:15

awww thanks im feeling a bit better now, i remeber you as lonley mum and you were v.lovley to me then aswell!

Im going to go to bed now but am seeing my midwife next week and will try and have a chat with her.

Thanks guys coming on here always makes me feel more relaxed.

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DumbledoresGirl · 17/08/2006 21:15

Oops, took so long to write that you had already said the midwife was no use. Can you ask to speak to another, or visit the hospital and speak to someone there?

dinny · 17/08/2006 21:15

sorry, crappy typing as keyboard keeps sticking - honest!

FrannyandZooey · 17/08/2006 21:16

I think every pregnancy is different. I bet you are still not getting enough sleep if you are having attacks in the middle of the night, so it's a vicious circle. Did you tell the midwife about the anxiety attacks? Have you tried really obvious things like drinking chamomile tea etc? I would also cut right down on caffeine if you haven't already. Did you get your yoga book? That might have some good techniques.

Another thing to try could be aromatherapy - I am not totally sure which oils are safe for pregnancy but I am pretty sure chamomile and lavender are, and both are relaxing. You could put some on a hanky and sniff it when you feel panicky in the night, put some on your pillow or burn some in your bedroom as you go to sleep. I could send you some oils if you don't have any, the chamomile is quite pricey to buy a whole bottle but I have one here going unused, and could send you a bit in a little bottle.

FrannyandZooey · 17/08/2006 21:18

Slow typing here as well - hope you get some rest Charlee

Panboy · 17/08/2006 21:20

hi sweetie...wish to say..no need to panic! I don't know you very well/at all, BUT my impression is that you are extremly capable and able!! Self-questioning is fine, but you seem to be giving yourself a harder time than you deserve!!

in regard to panic attacks, they are ALWAYS in response to an irrational fear. Can I suggest you 'book' some time away for yourself, and do something as close to meditating as you can? IT may sound wooley, but, 20mins/30mins of deep thought about your strengths and acheivements helps most people who do it enormously. You CAN reason panic away. It just takes some space to do it.

Charlee · 18/08/2006 10:55

Thanks for all your kind words.
Im feeling better today, i think where im usually a very strong, together person this has come at quite a shock to feel this way.

I am a very keen aromatherapist now you mention it! unfortunatley im not allowed alot of oils when pregnant but i am going to get some chamomile tea to drink.

I am sleeping alot beeter than i was, i usually have the attacks at night before i go to sleep then when i calm down im able to sleep ok at the moment.

My midwife like i say is not very helpfull i tried to approach the subject on my last visit, she kind of found it funny and said maybe induction was 'open to discussion' to maximise my chances of being allowed an epidural if i was that bothered but i had to discuss it with my obgyn but i couldn;t get an appointment with him until im 38 weeks so its cutting it a bit fine, and again he's not the most sympathetic/ helpfull man around.

Im hoping that when the time comes i will just pull myself together and get through it like i did with ds, and i have no reason to belive once i clap eyes on my baby all bad toughts will go out the window.

I honestly don't know why i feel the way i do thats what makes it so frustrating i guess.
But thanks again talking to you lot always helps.

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FrannyandZooey · 18/08/2006 12:55

I was thinking of you last night Charlee, and I wondered if a relaxation tape might help you to listen to before you go to bed?

I am glad today seems brighter for you.

Charlee · 18/08/2006 12:56

Awww it's nice to be thought of

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