So after weeks of OH not telling his 2 kids I'm pregnant, he finally did and it all went pear shaped. 15 year old says we've ruined his life and he never wants to see me or baby. 9 year old just not in touch with me any more. Got on great with them both before they found out. OH being very distant, we don't live together, he says he doesn't know how he can split his time between us all. He split from his wife last Jan and we got pregnant very quickly (like within 2 weeks of starting to see each other last Sept.....pretty miraculous, he had a vasectomy that has reversed itself) He never wanted any more kids, I'm 40 in 2 weeks and feel this is my last chance, I love him and want it to work and the thought of doing this alone terrifies me. He says he loves me very much and I believe him, but he basically doesn't want a baby. Well unfortunately we come as a package now.... I wasn't exactly planning for one either, children never featured in my life plan, but there was no way I was terminating, so I went ahead, but I think he feels I didn't involve him in that decision. 
Original plan was for him to move in with me sometime soon but now I cant see that happening, he has his kids overnight every other weekend and they basically hate me.
I feel I have no hope for the future, and all I can do is plan for this on my own just in case. But I feel miserable, low and lonely all the time. I feel this poor little baby is just not being celebrated.
So to try and perk myself up I've booked in for a private gender and reassurance scan tomorrow (I'm 17+3) just hoping they can tell! Then maybe I can start to plan forward a bit. 20 week scan is 7th Feb but I'm going insane and just can't wait til then.
Don;t know what advice I want really, just to rant !!
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Pregnancy
Partner driving me mad - need to rant!
mimi74 · 18/01/2014 15:11
Hi Mimi, I'm sorry it has gone so pear shaped. Just remember the news is very fresh to his children, they will go through so many emotions as they digest the news. Don't assume that this initial reaction is going to be how they feel in a few weeks time. I doubt even you and your partner have fully accepted the news and all it entails and the huge life change it will cause, so to expect children to do so immediately is unrealistic. You may find it takes them another good few months to really get their heads around it. I really sympathise with you though about feeling like the baby isn't being celebrated, so much for one of the happiest times of your life eh?! It's crap that the pregnancy is surrounded by a lot of negative feeling BUT I think you have done the right thing in continuing with the pregnancy and even if you do have to do it alone (although I do think it will come good in the end) the baby is obviously going to have a very loving mother.
Me and my DH had a Private Gender scan at 16 weeks and it was magical - you are going to love it. I was in absolute awe at what I was seeing and the company I went through were amazing. They took their time, explained everything to me etc end it was just amazing. I can't describe it. And finding out the sex was wonderful - the whole experience is something I will never forget. I'm sure it will be just as perfect for you 
Writerwannabe83 I know you are right, I suppose I had a picture in my head of how it would all be but I suppose I had to expect some difficulties.
firstpglivingabroad sorry no I live in the north west. So sorry to hear your situation. I never thought I would be a mum but like you feel this is my last chance. I'll message you.
Thanks Foxeym remember your wise words last time. I am expecting too much too soon, it has only been 9 days since he told them.
Original plan was for OH to move in with me and I guess I had got my hopes up for that, and now that has been delayed indefinitely. We talked today about the fact that even when baby comes he might not be living with me. But he wants to be a part of the baby's life and for that I need to be thankful.
Perked up a bit today as had gender scan and it's a little boy! At least now I feel I can start to plan ahead. And no matter what come June, I won't be alone anyway as I will have my lovely son 
Congratulations
Things may settle down when your baby is here and is more real for the ones who aren't carrying him.
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