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Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Pregnancy

Honestly, how do you cope?

17 replies

bebopanddoowop · 23/10/2013 13:39

I'm 15+2 weeks pregnant and am honestly so so happy about it and would suffer anything for this baby. But every day I find myself wondering... How do women do this? How do they cope?

I had really bad sickness 6-13 weeks and had to spend most days in bed clutching a bowl. Now I am over the worst of that but am constantly tired, feel queezy or have a sick feeling in my belly and I feel completely useless.

I am self employed and work from home and haven't managed to finish a project in ages. I struggle getting out of bed and find motivation when my body feels less ill lying down. I just can't imagine what women with normal jobs do and how they cope & am feeling really disappointed with myself for not dealing with this better.

Anyone else in the same boat as me or am I just as feeble as I feel? Any input would be gratefully received...

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SharpLily · 23/10/2013 14:39

So glad it's not just me! Some days I feel I struggle to put one foot in front of the other, and I'm only 9+4! I also feel guilty for complaining about it - it took a year and two chemical pregnancies to get here, so I feel I should be exhibiting some sort of blissful welcome to feeling shit, but I can't. Right now I just want to spend the next six months asleep .

Angelina77 · 23/10/2013 14:45

Same here, only 4+5 today and I've been suffering for 10 days already. Also trying for a while and had a mc so I too feel guilty about not beaming from ear to ear 24/7. Seems to be a cycle of feeling cack/feeling guilty about moaning about feeling cack/generally waiting and worrying. It's very difficult to be stuck in an office all day with this going on, god knows how I'll cope later on.

Happychick35 · 23/10/2013 14:50

hehehehe, see my previous post winging about acid reflux, when I had my morning sickness, I would croll into work , count hours till 5 and croll out, could not do much and had to take a lot of sick leave. My poor hubby had to drive me to work (smell of public transport made me sick to tears) pick me up and cook. And I would happily throw up most of it. I would not have done first trimester without him. And some days you feel like you want to die. I am very grateful my manager is undertstanding , some of them are not. But like anything in life you manage what comes your way. Big hug it will get better and it is great you have an opportunity to stay at home. Just take it easy and give your body plenty of rest, every pregnancy is different, some women can work 24/7 and nearly give birth at work. But everyone is different and you should do what is best for you. If you need rest just rest

AnnaBanana25 · 23/10/2013 15:06

I'm so glad to see this as I've come home from work sick. I have a cold anyway and am sniffly and hot, but also feel nauseous and exhasusted- I don't feel like I should push myself as we ttc'ed 2 long years to get here and I want to make sure this results in a baby! I feel so lame, I'm 26, should be up and running and just dealing with it all. Plus, feeling guilty as I left work with a colleague and can't explain why :-(

lizziekal · 23/10/2013 15:13

I'm one day ahead of you (15 +3) and also work mainly from home. Am filled with admiration for anyone who can hold down a full time job or look after other kids while feeling this awful. Having said that I do vomit less when I have to go out for meetings etc. I had a couple of better weeks 13-15) but now seem to be vomiting more than ever. When's the 2nd trimester glow and energy going to kick in?

KB02 · 23/10/2013 15:22

I was thinking the same. I felt pretty.rough with my last pregnancy and fear this will be similar. I am a sahm to an 18 month old and finding it really hard. I'm only 6+5 and not started vomiting yet but feeling so sick and off colour. TO make it worse I came out in really itchy hives last night. They are pregnancy related.

I'm feeling guilty that my son 's not getting the attention and activities that he normally does.

I'm just hoping it doesn't last too long

bebopanddoowop · 23/10/2013 15:43

Oh thankyou all so much for posting! Though I wouldn't wish these feelings upon anyone it is a great comfort to know I'm not the only one. I was starting to think everyone else had a supermum gene I was missing.

Happychick - thanks for your positivity you are right I should make the most that I can rest more, this is what my DH tells me but I am ridden with guilt

Anna - I'm 26, too, and supposedly in good health.. How the hell do those that aren't cope?!

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Inglori0us · 23/10/2013 15:45

It's a bleak time but you do what you need to do. I must look after my toddler, even though I feel like shit. Also I'm extra annoyed as my first pregnancy was a fucking doddle.
I'm not the best mother in the world but I'm doing the best I can in difficult circumstances. Cbeebies is a big hell right now. My (freelance) work is suffering.
I'm hoping the sickness will ease off soon (15 weeks) and I'll feel less shit.
Just struggling through and eating a lot of monster munch.

bebopanddoowop · 23/10/2013 15:46

Sharp - yes it's so hard to not complain when you feel rubbish I just make sure I say a million times a day how grateful I am too in hope to balance it out!

Angelina - I struggled right from the beginning too and swear I was so close to punching many loved ones that said it would get better...that doesn't help!

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bebopanddoowop · 23/10/2013 15:49

Lizzie - I'm sure this glowing 2nd trimester thing is made up by television and magazines... Makes me stabby thinking about that!

KB and inglorious - I literally don't know how you do it looking after little ones too.. I bow down to you !

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AnnaBanana25 · 23/10/2013 19:54

I totally bow down to those with other little ones too!!

Feeling a bit better having had the afternoon off. I read online that because you're working so hard to make a little baby, the body's immune system goes down in a flash with colds and flu. Going to try not to feel guilty!

Bebop- good to know it's not just me!

Inglorious- monster munch is amazing.

middleclassdystopia · 23/10/2013 20:35

So glad I found this thread.

15 weeks with dc3 and I feel rubbish. Sickness and exhaustion everyday.

I just plod through the days, doing the essential for my family then crash in bed before 9pm every night. The hardest bit is not being able to treat myself. No wine, hate most food, can't concentrate on good films/books.

I am quite down despite being joyous when I got bfp. Really feel for you all x

Inglori0us · 23/10/2013 20:52

Spent the afternoon eating cheese crackers and watching Up with my toddler, so not all bad.
Really REALLY want wine. :(

bebopanddoowop · 23/10/2013 22:12

middleclassdystopia - yes it's such a strange feeling joy mixed with being so down. I haven't experienced anything like it before.

Feel sorry for those craving wine - the thought (and smell) of alcohol turns my stomach at the moment..small mercy I suppose!

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niccamor · 24/10/2013 08:37

17+2 and a newbie to Mumsnet. Spend three days in bed with a migraine and, after being prescribed slightly stronger medication (co-codamol), I ended up with very unexpected trapped wind and indigestion last night (sorry TMI). This I only realised after having a severe panic attack (hot and cold sweats, shortness of breath and anxiety) and asking DH to call the NHS Helpline.

I have also been feeling down in-spite of how happy I am about the baby and I really couldn't ask for better support from DH.

Anyway, it is really good to read what you are all going through. No two of us are the same, but it is reassuring to know that I am really not alone. Thankfully I will have the rest of the week off work and try to re-balance myself. Not looking forward to being back at work for the 9-5 next week

artyone · 24/10/2013 08:53

I'm 36 weeks now so all the early stuff seems so far behind. I got morning sickness from 6-22weeks and hated every minute. I didn't feel that attached to baby at the beginning and I was so sick of feeling hungover for weeks on end I just wanted it all to end. Thankfully it gets better :) I'm now nearing the end and feel very attached to her and am totally willing to put up with hip pain and indigestion.

IMO the beginning is the worst and there is not enough support. Morning sickness is horrible and having to work with it is horrendous.

You have my sympathy OP

One bit of advice my midwife gave me was don't worry too much about healthy eating plans in early pregnancy, just eat and drink what you fancy and can keep down.

bebopanddoowop · 25/10/2013 10:23

so glad to hear that (after ages) it did get better and you feel close to baby now artyone that's really encouraging thankyou

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