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Help, pregnant

(8 Posts)
Sunningdale Sun 20-Jan-13 16:50:12

Advice wanted-just found out I'm preg with 2nd after 7months trying however meant to be bridesmaid abroad for best friend a week after I'm due how do I go about telling her? I feel so bad sad

Hai1988 Sun 20-Jan-13 16:58:39

Congratz on the pregnacy, if she is a true best friend she wont mind and will be very happy and excited for you. Try not to worry and enjoy the pregnacy )

WeeS Sun 20-Jan-13 17:15:18

I agree, if she's a true friend she'll be happy for you and will try to hide her disappointment that you wont be there on the day. But that doesnt mean you cant help her in the run-up to it with planning etc.

I know one girl who reacted quite negatively to one of her bridesmaids getting pregnant before her wedding, but then I guess that's the hard way to find out who your friends are!
x

june2013 Sun 20-Jan-13 17:21:36

That's tricky! I think weddings are fraught with difficult tensions even between the best of friends. I speak as a recently married person & one of my best friends is getting married in August...

Does your friend know you've been trying all this time? If she does, she'll understand and be sympathetic.

If she doesn't know, hopefully, she'll understand that there's nothing you can do / could have done differently. I mean realistically what would she be hoping for? That you waited for after her wedding to get pregnant? That you come to the wedding with a one week old baby (if it is on time!)? She'll see that what she is hoping for is impossible.

If she's a very close friend, I'd also tell here asap (I probably wouldn't wait the 12 weeks, but that's a personal choice) so she has time to make alternative arrangements (even if you continue to help in the meantime - maybe you can throw her the ultimate hen party?)...

Good luck!

eltsihT Sun 20-Jan-13 17:41:39

We are in a vaguely similar situation, my hubby was asked to be best man 4 hours drive away from our home. Turns out wedding is 10 days before my due date, we said yes originally when i found out i was pregnant we told them straight away so they could think about it, they have since had to change wedding date and it is now 4 days after my due date. they have now asked someone else to be best man but have booked us a room at the hotel so if we feel like going we can or just my hubby can and if we don't it doesn't matter.

My hubby told his mate he was really honoured to be asked and was very sorry but family has to come first type thing, as you can see our friends have been great about it and we still hope we might be able to go.

Good luck!

I think you are being a bit overly dramatic tbh. Unless she is some kind of bridezilla b*tch from hell she isn't going to throw a wobbly because you are pregnant. She may be disappointed that you can't be there on her big day, but it isn't that big an issue. She'll find someone else. Tell her now though so she has plenty of notice. Dropping her in it at the 11th hour would be annoying, and I'd understand if she had a bit of a wobbly about that!

massagegirl Sun 20-Jan-13 20:00:04

I don't think you are being overly dramatic at all! You are worried about upsetting you're best friend. But even though she'll be sad you can't be there, of course she'll totally understand. Tell her soon, I'm sure you'll share some tears but then all will be well! Earlier poster said about organising a great hen night, that sounds good. And maybe doing something special with her before the wedding, spa day or something. X

Sunningdale Sun 20-Jan-13 21:14:34

Thank you all for your advice, I am sure she will be fully understanding x

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