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So sick of feeling like a dramatic neurotic princess hypochondriac whinge bag.

(26 Posts)
nananaps Thu 27-Dec-12 19:17:48

Its just not me.

But im so fucking uncomfortable and feel so unwell.
35 weeks down, 4 weeks left to go and i have (warning...whinging coming up)

Huge swollen feet, i can feel fluid sloshing around my feet when i try to walk.
Horrendous back pain, no matter what i do
Cruching hips when i stand
Tightenings across my bump that take my breath away, these come on if i need a wee, stand up too soon, walk anywhere, lie in bed relaxed...anything brings them on really
Shattered, absolutely tired out
Cant sleep (Due to back/hip pain)
High BP
Irritable...twinkling Christmas lights are getting on my nerves now
Heartburn/nausea/starving hungry
Dare not sneeze, cough or laugh too much because i actually wet myself.

Normally a busy, full time, hard working, person, i feel completely useless and helpless. Relying on DH to do everythng.
Of course the house is a mess, and its normally spotless, the washing is piling up, huge mountain of ironing staring at me.

sigh sad i feel fed up today. Just got back from maternity day case as they are monitoring my high BP (weekly...wtf is that all about??) with no plan. I NEED a plan!!!


CailinDana Tue 01-Jan-13 16:53:43

May I join the whinge fest?

I'm 32 weeks and I am so sick of being so feeble. I feel really guilty that my very hardworking DH has spent almost the entirety of his Christmas holidays dealing with 2 year old DS as I am just not able to run around after him or get down on the floor and play. He hasn't uttered one word of complaint, bless him, but I know he's tired and worn out from DS's constant demands to play. I took DS out to the park for 40 mins or so this afternoon and that's about the longest DH has had away from him in the last two weeks. I would have stayed longer but I was just so breathless and woozy I had to come back, at which point DH thanked me (sincerely) for the tiny bit of time off. Poor bugger.

Last night was just awful - every time I lay down my heart raced and I couldn't catch my breath. I had this with DS too and I know from now on sleep is going to be so difficult until the baby arrives. That's what gets to me the most - I wouldn't mind a tough day of being tired if I could go to bed, settle down and be comfortable but to know I'll feel just a shit on and off all night is so bloody miserable. I almost feel like not bothering going to bed at all it's just so frustrating. Plus my pelvis hurts like hell when I'm lying down.

I don't put pressure on myself to do a lot - I just want to do the basics like keeping the house relatively tidy and looking after DS.

I remember with DS that even though looking after a newborn was hard, the elation I felt at not being pregnant any more made up for a lot of it. Even when he was 6 months old I was still commenting to DH on how nice it was to be able to turn over in the bed easily and actually get some sleep now and again. I just do not handle the physical effects of pregnancy well at all.

nananaps Tue 01-Jan-13 15:32:56

Ha! Bowling ball up your bum, thats a great description.

Yes, im fantasising about taking my "kids" (OMG im going to have KID*S*) to the park with the pram as spring is round the corner, cant ruddy wait!!

Walking to collect ds from school instead of shuffling into the driver seat of the car to go the 500 yeards to the school gates, then very slowely and carefully shifting inch by inch out when we get home.
To be able to walk around a shop and get a pint of milk....BLISS!

SO much to look forward to grin
BTW thats rubbish having to crawl round the house, i dare not even bend down as i cant get up!
DORA who is going to put your socks on if your house is empty of helpers??

Doraemon Tue 01-Jan-13 13:09:59

Hi Nana, you were on my moaning thread last week weren't you? I'm 30 weeks now, baby still there and wiggling about like a lunatic, SPD has me reduced to crawling round the house at times and the irritible uterus contractions are still coming every time I do anything more than lie down.
DH has just driven off with our boys to his parents house for 3 nights because I am utterly incapable of looking after them and he has to go back to work tomorrow (he's going to be working on laptop from his mum's while being available to deal with any crises.....). I'm still finding it hugely frustrating not being able to actually do anything but am hoping that a few days of having the house to myself will be easier than having to watch DH try to deal with everything.
Am consoling myself with a) the fact that, s**t as this is, it's better than having a baby in SCBU and b) fantasies about actually being able to walk somewhere, outdoors, when the baby finally arrives and I no longer feel like there's a bowling ball stuck up my bum. Also now DS1 &2 are out of the house I can eat all the biscuits smile
hope your last few weeks pass as quickly as possible.

nananaps Mon 31-Dec-12 15:59:03


Flylady is fab, ive used it lots over the years tbh. Good recommendation.

I have now started to smile sweetly at DH when he asks how i am, and just say, ok ta.

I am geting on my own nerves with it so dread to think how he feels, poor bugger. smile..see, smiling!

MrsWolowitz Sun 30-Dec-12 17:45:00

McBobby you haven't offended anyone.

OP you do have this place to moan, I simply advised you to keep the moaning to a minimum in RL as its really tedious for people to be constantly hearing. I'm sure you're not one of those people at all but I think we've all met a pregnant person who can only talk about how uncomfy they are, how hard it is and how fat their feet are/how painful the heartburn is/how annoying having to pee every few minutes is/how sore their hips are/how nasty their braxton hicks are/how spotty they've gotten/how much weight they've put on etc etc.

This forum is a great place to vent and use it for that but (again, I'm sure you wouldn't anyway) don't talk about in too much in RL. Maybe I'm extra sensitive about chronic pregnancy whining as a friend of mine has spent the last few months doing this as its doing mine and our mutual friends head in!

McBobby Sun 30-Dec-12 17:11:00

Oh I'm so sorry everyone. I don't feel like that at all. You have not caused any offense. Apologies if my post came across like that. I am so happy for anyone in your position and of course you should be allowed to moan.

I know exactly how you feel. I went four days over with DS and was fit to burst. Just hang on in there.

But seriously do check out the website I recommended. It really helped me. I have finally let go of my perfectionism and control and it is helping me cope at the moment.

Apologies if it is I who have caused offense.

Tinselandchocolates Sun 30-Dec-12 16:55:47

Im very sorry for your loss mcbobby. Lots of us here, myself included, have lost pregnancies. It's very recent for you and very raw. It may be best to stay away from the pregnancy forums for a while. Women need a place to have a whinge about pregnancy, as you know it feels pretty rotten at times, please don't feel that belittles your loss.

nananaps Sun 30-Dec-12 12:40:04

Thanks but compounding the guilt unfortunately!

7 miscarriages and 5 years of ttc, i am fully aware of how shit i sound.
I am not a perfectionist, i just want to do the simple everyday stuff that i normally do. Physically unable to though.

I have begged and bargained in my head and scowled at women who have dared complained when i was desperate to be in their position in the past.

In reality, i think that it is hard, far more than you imagine with the fog and haze of desperate dark days of loss and sorrow.
I think that you push this reality out of your head, therefore when it hits, it hits hard...unexpectedly so.

Like another poster says, i come here to moan, so i minimise it in RL.
I have posted on the pregnancy forum, not on the miscarriage one, as i wasnt wanting to cause any offense to anyone experiencing what i have been through. Appologies if i have caused offense.

This baby is a miracle, we had given up all hope,i have read about and heard about such things happening to other people. Yet here i am, about to meet a real live miracle in less than 4 weeks time!

Allow me this space to come and complain occasionally.

MrsWolowitz Sun 30-Dec-12 09:39:01

Mc thanks so sorry about your pregnancy.

I've also had a miscarriage. I'd like to say it gets easier but I still think of what could have been and mourn my baby that never was. I guess I've learnt to live with it. I'm so sorry for your loss.

MrsWolowitz Sun 30-Dec-12 09:34:08

Hang in there. It is tough just try and remember that you're almost there and you're going through the same thing as loads of other women. Also try to make sure you're not actually being a hypochondriac whingebag as there's nothing more boring than a pregnant person in RL moaning about being uncomfortable all the time. I was 37 weeks with twins and a woman who was 30 weeks with one baby was moaning on at me about how uncomfy she was. I was very hmm

Come on here for a good old whine but keep it to a minimum around RL people (not that you are moaning too much, just thought I'd say just in case) grin

Keep going. You're almost there and it'll all be worth it when you hold your baby.

Good luck.

McBobby Sun 30-Dec-12 09:25:47

You all sound like perfectionists who have unrealistic high expectations of yourselves. I can say that because I am the same and was a nightmare in the last few weeks of my pregnancy and even worse once was DS was born.

Unfortunately, I am recovering from losing both my 2nd pregnancy and my right tube just over a week ago. I would give anything to feel how you are feeling right now but am pragmatic about it and hope my time will come.

I wish all of you all the very best with your pregnancies. Check out this website, it will help if you embrace it and take it slow. Think of it as taking back some control from your pregnancy and your perfectionism!

The site is called flylady.org. I can't do a link sorry. If you find an American site with a purple fairy on it you're there. It changed my life and is definitely (and bizarrely) helping me cope with my current situation.

Good luck all. I hope you let go of some perfectionism and control for the birth - I struggled with that one!


LadyMaryCrawleysStocking Fri 28-Dec-12 22:14:56

totally with you OP. I' 've been utterly wretched with a cold for a fortnight now and am convinced I''ve cracked a rib. Makes getting up, moving about so much fun! hope you feel better soon.

Pontouf Fri 28-Dec-12 13:02:48

Oh yeah and my morning sickness was in full swing up to one week ago. I have been vomitting so hard that I have broken blood vessels around my eyes and mouth. I love love love being a mother. I fucking hate being pregnant.

Pontouf Fri 28-Dec-12 13:00:30

I am only 25+6 but have a chest infection which is causing my intercostal muscles to go into spasm on a regular basis. My head is housing about 2lb of mucus at any one time, despite blowing my nose every 6 and a half minutes. I can't really breathe or sleep.

I am usually a busy full time hardworking person with a very responsible active job. I have struggled through with this for 5 weeks until last Thursday when I ended up having to go to a&e during my shift blush

I hate feeling so utterly pathetic. I don't work in a very forgiving environment. It is a culture of hard work and sacrifice and I am very aware that I am not cutting it at the moment. Feel like such a girl. Urgh. So yeah, I can totally sympathise thanks

Wuxiapian Fri 28-Dec-12 10:48:52

I'm 37.5 weeks into my second pregnancy (14 years after first pregnancy), and certainly not gliding through it.

Bad back/hip aches since week 28
Very poor sleep as above
Swollen feet, legs and feet since week 34
Headaches since week 35
On/off cold since week 24
Breath-taking stabbing pains across bump since week 32
Leg cramps since week 25ish

DP has to assist with shoes, picking things up off floor, lifting me up out of chairs... All very attractive.

I know how you feel re housework, OP. I can't stand to see it building up either and, am a tad concerned as to how I'll manage once bump arrives.

Easier said than done, but try take it easy.

MrsHBaby3 Fri 28-Dec-12 10:10:59

I want to add, on the plus side, I don't feel sick anymore and my appetite has come back wirh avengence!!

MrsHBaby3 Fri 28-Dec-12 09:52:13

I'm 31weeks and completely understand. How do women all over the world just get on with it?!
I have been signed off since 3months and I remember asking my Dr how do some women cope better than others, but she said from her point of view as a gp, very few women glide through preg without some probs or another.
Personally I have zero energy, constipation, slight urinary incontinence, breathless, paranoia something is going wrong, back pain, nose bleeds, leg cramps, heartburn, and then i wonder why I'm very antisocial atm!
Let's get through it together!

Tinselandchocolates Fri 28-Dec-12 06:42:20

I agree with the above, pregnancy is much worse than having a newborn, and I had one that didn't sleep for months!
On a practical note, if its at all within your budget get a cleaner who will do the ironing too, once or twice a week. You'll need them once baby is here anyway. I waited til my son was 6m before getting our fab cleaner and wish I hadn't waited. For some reason I thought I'd have time to do it myself.....!!

LadyMetroland Fri 28-Dec-12 01:00:35

You have my sympathy op. Pregnancy isn't fun (but some people just glide through it - how?!?!) Worst thing is lack of sympathy from dh and friends - even people who've been pg before seem to forget how hard it is.

Best thing ever though is after you have the baby you will get all your energy back. I remember with dd2 being up at night doing feeds seemed like a doddle in comparison to being pg

PipIsOutNow Thu 27-Dec-12 20:38:41

nana don't know if you remember from another thread you commented on but I am in exactly the same position as you and tick all the boxes in your op. I'm also 35 weeks and I'm so fed up I just want to cry. I seem to have hit (another) wall today and I'm feeling so sorry for myself. I have a consultant appointment next wed and I'm hoping to god he gives me a plan that involves removing this baby as soon after 37 weeks as is safe/possible. I wasn't this bad with my first pregnancy either a d I'm
Also relying on dp to do everything, even put my pissing shoes on!!! We're nearly there, and in a few weeks this will all be a distant memory.

RissaC2011 Thu 27-Dec-12 20:26:02

I started a post this eve about depression in pregnancy as I'm struggling too. I only wish I was further along as 15 weeks to go seems like an eternity at the moment! Don't feel bad about moaning. I think that's why so many of us don't say anything to anyone and bottle everything up. I have pregnant friends who are mother-earth types and loving every minute of their pregnancies so I know where you're coming from though haha!

nananaps Thu 27-Dec-12 20:15:27

Thankyou xxxxx

You DO make me feel better grin

im so lucky to be here at this stage, i should not moan, but i know that you all understand where i am coming from smile

RissaC2011 Thu 27-Dec-12 20:11:11

You've got to give yourself a break. I too am I house perfectionist but since being pregnant (and I'm only 25 weeks but HUGE!) I have had to let it go and hope I'll get back into the swing of things when DS2 is born. I think I always place too much stress on myself i.e. noone else actually expects me to do the things I'm trying to do! I also felt terrible by the end of my last pregnancy and with this one am getting symptoms of just about everything already...so I too am most fed up (hope that makes you feel better lol)!

nananaps Thu 27-Dec-12 19:54:41

I just do not rememebr feeling so awful when pregnant with my son..but that was nearly 10 years ago so my memory is somewhat faded probably.

Yep, the end is near....4 weeks and counting..yay, cant wait to meet my little miracle smile

ReindeerOutdoors Thu 27-Dec-12 19:50:50

All I can say is, hang in there, it will get better. I know it's not the same for everyone but first time I hated being pregnant; when I gave birth I was on such a high, as well as having a lovely baby I felt so much better, less tired and more like me. Don't worry about moaning , you're doing a lot of hard work growing a baby but the end is in sight!

I'm now approx 7 weeks pregnant with dc2 and remembering how much my body dislikes being pregnant. It seems like an age when you're going through it but when you look back it won't seem as bad. Just rest as much as you can smile

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