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Having a sweep in 1.5 hours and I just cut my lady bits :(

(25 Posts)
giraffesCantGoGuisingAsZebras Fri 19-Oct-12 17:21:53


Mixxy I just snorted burst out laughing! Poor you!

SlightlySuperiorPeasant Thu 18-Oct-12 15:30:47

Mixxy and DH have cheered me up, thank you! DH is rather relieved I suspect...

I would have booked in for waxing but when I went at 36 weeks it hurt do much that my abs spasmed and I couldn't get off the couch. The therapist had to roll me off! Kudos to Mixxy for carrying on.

milli2512 Thu 18-Oct-12 14:31:20

Slightly my preening was all for nothing too. She said she'd book me in for a sweep on Monday and again on Thurs if nothing happened. I swear she said last week she'd try today. Oh well at least my downstairs is all in order now.

Mixxy that is blooming funny!!

NAR4 Thu 18-Oct-12 14:05:58

I don't think the midwife cares what state it is in down there, but like lots of women, do care (for whatever reason) myself.

I am 23 weeks now and my bump is already too big to see down there. I waxed my bikini area with the help of a hand mirror at the weekend. All was going well until one final touch up and when I checked again in the mirror I must have dribbled some wax over the main area on the way back to the pot. End result is not a lot left. Hubby thought it most amusing. At least I have time for it to grow back before the midwife will be down there.

Shaving sounds far too dangerous to me. Maybe try cream, if waxing is too painfull.

Oh mixxy you poor thing! but you have cheered me up grin

terilou87 Thu 18-Oct-12 13:30:32

ouch!! i dont think any one really cares or expects it to be tidy down there and i dont think midwife will really look when doing the sweep either. lol at mixxy she should of listened to you. totally her fault!! grin

Oh mixxy!! I'm sorry but you have made me chuckle smile

Namechangeyetagain Thu 18-Oct-12 13:18:17

Oh Mixxy that is so funny! Serves her right!

Mixxy Thu 18-Oct-12 13:13:38

I just got cleaned up, put on fresh paper knickers and started again. I can tell you she'll believe the next pregnant lady who says 'that's as far back as my leg can go' from now on.

SlightlySuperiorPeasant Thu 18-Oct-12 13:09:03

Ok, that is really bad. I would never be able to go back.

Mixxy Thu 18-Oct-12 13:07:05

I went to get waxed at my usual spa last week. Lying there in my paper knickers with my regular waxing lady, she tells me,
Her- "Lift your leg back just a little more please"

Me - "I can't, my bump is too big, sorry".

Her- "Let me just..." pushes my right leg closer to me head

Me- pee

My friends got a great laugh at this. I on the otherhand wanted to crawl under a rock.

SlightlySuperiorPeasant Thu 18-Oct-12 12:31:13

I didn't bother for DC1 but he came early. This time I've been bikini waxed, have trimmed, used tea tree oil and no one cares. angry

Does that make me a scruff?

I had a sweep this morning with a right privet going on.

SlightlySuperiorPeasant Thu 18-Oct-12 12:19:06

Oscar that is genius.

After all that it was a different midwife and she wouldn't do it sad She didn't even look so my efforts to be tidy and sparkly clean were completely wasted sad

oscarwilde Thu 18-Oct-12 11:49:55

Ouch. You could try the barbershop approach and put a comb between your bits and the scissors?

Owwww!!!! Poor you. Am about to have a sweep and couldn't even pee in the pot properly due to massive bump. The thought of going near it with any implement brings tears to my eyes!! MW will have to negotiate a jungle I think blush

Orenishii Thu 18-Oct-12 10:33:56

Aww if it makes you feel any better, I begged and begged DH to do mine but decided to tackle it myself...now I have a bald patch right in the middle.

SlightlySuperiorPeasant Thu 18-Oct-12 10:23:33

Good luck to you too milli.

SlightlySuperiorPeasant Thu 18-Oct-12 10:22:57

I did ask DH but he had to rush off this morning. Bleeding has stopped but it stings! All our mirrors are fixed to the wall too. I knew this was a stupid idea.

milli2512 Thu 18-Oct-12 10:22:14

Oh no!! I've also got a sweep this morning. I managed to tackle bikini line in the shower and was going to get the scissors out to give the lady garden a bit of a trim, but having second thoughts now grin. If it's any consolation I have developed a skin tag on my perineum, can't miss the bloody thing, I'm completely embarrassed about it and feel like a freak. I'm guessing she's seen all sorts though. Really not looking forward to the sweep, but want this baby out! Good luck.

Biggem Thu 18-Oct-12 10:20:30

Holy crap - ouch.
No suggestions to help I'm afraid, just sympathy!
She might do it for you while she's down there grin

Stellarella123 Thu 18-Oct-12 10:20:28

Oh no ! If it makes u feel better Sure the midwife will have seen it all before, it is so hard to do lol! I can mind struggling and hovering over a mirror! Hope ur ok though x

Ahhh you poor thing.

Are you ok? Does it need seeing to?

SlightlySuperiorPeasant Thu 18-Oct-12 10:03:22

Owwwwwwwww! I was trying to tidy up a bit for the midwife but I couldn't see what I was doing (bump) in the way) and I've just taken a snip out of my labia sad sad sad So now I have a bloody, half-trimmed bush that I have to clean up without being able to see.

<ahem> sympathy and helpful suggestions required. Ta.

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