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Pregnant at 48 years old-Are there any other older mums-to-be out there?

(40 Posts)
belle453 Sun 14-Nov-10 16:45:50

I am 6 weeks pregnant and 48 years old. I am extremely scared and worried about the massive implications of this. This will be my first child after suffering a miscarraige at 40 and never conceiving since. I am certainly not delighted. If the baby does go to full term and is healthy which is the main concern obviously I am then going to have to deal with the age thing. The few friends of mine who have children are all in their 20s and I have a step-daughter of 28. Help I want my life back already!!!

expatinscotland Sun 14-Nov-10 16:52:07

My mother has a friend who had her first, and only, at age 50. Spontaneous conception, full-term, healthy daughter.

She and her husband, however, placed the child up for adoption as they did not feel able or wish to bring up a child.

Concordia Sun 14-Nov-10 16:57:45

i dont' have personal experience of this but send you my best wishes for the pregnancy and beyond.
i would say that many men have children in their mid to late 40s now as routine (my DH is one) and that they are rarely criticised by society. I am sure your age means that you have a lot to offer a child that a younger person may not.
some friends of mine recently had the second child. their combined age was 101.

Concordia Sun 14-Nov-10 16:58:31

you will never get your life back though.... just a totally different kind of one.
hope it goes smoothly.

lucy101 Sun 14-Nov-10 17:35:58

I know a few mothers in their late forties - including my neighbour who had her second at 46. This is not uncommon now, especially in places like London (the average age of my Doula's clients is apparently 41). I don't know where you are but I am sure you can find some other mums in their forties.

lljkk Sun 14-Nov-10 17:37:39

I salute you OP, that is quite a challenge to take on. Best of luck.

SofiaAmes Sun 14-Nov-10 17:39:22

I have a friend who had her first at 46. He is now a healthy teenager going off to university next year. And she is happy and enjoying being a mother.

How wonderful, hope all goes well for you. smile xx

lollipopshoes Sun 14-Nov-10 17:43:24

Hello. I'm 41 and pg. I do have three children already, and have had a couple of miscarriages

Last time I was pg (during this summer) it was quite embarrassing telling people - I knew they were thinking "at YOUR age!!!" This time we haven't told anyone yet and won't until I'm 12 weeks but I'm not really looking forward to it if I'm honest.

My eldest child is nearly 17 and one of the things that worries me is if we're all out together people will think that this child is my grandchild.

I am happy about the pgy and looking forward to adding to our brood but of course I have worries, I am deffo an old mother!

Congratulations on your pgy, and if you want to share experiences, I'm around here most days at the moment.

Congratulations!
No personal experience but I'm sure you'll be an amazing mother with a wealth of experience to offer your child.

Good luck x

SparklyJules Sun 14-Nov-10 17:47:34

I don't think "the age thing" matters anymore. You are hardly decrepit!

I have two aunts who had babies in their forties (44 and 46) and I've never considered their ages - just how good mothers they were.

Life will certainly take a different path for you now, but it's up to you to embrace that.

Well, I am 41 and still intend to have one more. smile There is a mum at school who had her last one at 48 and the little girl is lovely and in my DD2's class so I get on well with her mum even though she is 53. Age doesn't mean the be all and end all to me IYSWIM. x

MrToad Sun 14-Nov-10 17:59:24

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Luisa Dillner writes a great column in the Guardian called "pregnant again..... at 48" where she talks about her experience of an unplanned and unexpected pregnancy at 48.

www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/series/pregnant-ag ain-at-48

taffetacat Sun 14-Nov-10 18:01:49

There's a 40plus mums ongoing thread on here where you would be very welcome. I think its called FortyTowers.

My best friend had her first at 44. Her only regret was that she was unable to have more. Her DD is 7 now and one of the best adjusted children I know. The age of her mum is a non issue.

sotough Sun 14-Nov-10 18:09:22

older parents are wonderful! my parents were ten-15 years older than those of my classmates and it didn't bother me at all; i actually think it's an advantage to have older and wiser parents who are very settled in their lives.
my dad was 50 and my mum 44 when my youngest sister was born and having a small child at a later age kept them young. i hope your pregnancy progresses smoothly - look forward to a wonderful experience you might never otherwise have had.

violetwellies Sun 14-Nov-10 21:01:23

Im expecting my first, I will be 46 when I give birth, I have never been pregnant before, in fact never even done a pregnancy test before, I feel totally lost and confused and work have been dreadful, but Im also pleased to be pregnant and hope desperately to have a healthy baby next year.

belle453 Tue 16-Nov-10 20:15:09

Thanks for all your comments and support

gotmunchies Tue 16-Nov-10 22:34:47

Hi belle

First, congratulations! Being pregnant at any age can be scary and really daunting, more so if it's your first. Loads of women are having babies now in their forties. I'm hoping to get pg soon with my 3rd and I'm 40 next year, dh will be nearly 50...we'd like to make it to 4dc so I'll be into my early 40's if all goes to plan. Definitely worth checking out the older mum tread if you can find it. There seem to be enough out there that you aren't such an oddity.

My friend has just had her 6th dc she's 46! Honestly, having a baby is exhausting at any age.

I'm sure you are in shock but hope you can start to celebrate and see this as a blessing soon. Bugger what others say.

Good luck!

spiderlight Tue 16-Nov-10 22:43:11

From the other side of the issue, my parents had me when they were 46 and 47, after 14 years of trying. They were apparently terrified but it was fine and they were wonderful, wonderful parents to me. The age thing very rarely bothered me and really was not an issue at all, although losing my mum at 33, before she became a grandmother, was very hard.

What you are feeling is natural - I felt the same when I was pregnant at 34. Your life will change, but you have so much love and joy and wonder ahead of you (and exhaustion and frustration and piles...!! ;) ) Good luck with it all, and I hope it all goes smoothly.

gotmunchies Tue 16-Nov-10 22:54:32

spiderlight...that was a really lovely message for belle :-)

belle, hope you can soon start to look ahead and think about all the wonderful joys and blessings a child brings to life.

Does anyone know where the threads about older mums are? I can't find them?
Thx

LooL00 Wed 17-Nov-10 10:20:45

here

I've just had dc3 and I'm now 44.

lilly13 Wed 17-Nov-10 11:00:36

congratulations!! unfortunately, i do not have any advice. just wanted to wish you a very good pregnancy and healthy baby! you are very brave and should be very proud of yourself!

gotmunchies Wed 17-Nov-10 19:27:28

Thanks Loo. Let's keep it bumped! And congrats to all the 'older' mums...I'm going to start to say 'wiser' mums. wink

tea4tw0 Wed 17-Nov-10 21:14:04

I'm 5 weeks pregnant - this will be my first - i had a mc earlier this year - all being well i will be 42 when the baby arrives - and yes i'm scared too. I have no idea what to expect or what each twinge etc means - Am glad to have found mumsnet it's a real comfort zone )

1derful Thu 18-Nov-10 23:15:36

Congratulations. I have just had my first baby at 46 after 2 mcs. I am so happy with my gorgeous girl and I may even try for another! Good luck.

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