Pregnancy shock at 39 yrs !!

[GoodbyePinotGrigio]

Hello everyone, this is my first post. I left my job on August 19th to start my own business. I was all fired up and really excited about my new venture (a social enterprise)and was hoping (and needing to, due to limited funds) to start trading at the beginning of October this year. Four days after leaving my job, with my period being a week late(it's never late),I found myself doing a pregnancy test, and lo and behold, it was positive. Now I was convinced I couldn't have children, I thought I had blocked fallopian tubes, though this was a guess not an official diagnosis. As after 20 years of regular sex, quite a few partners, and NEVER being on The Pill, I had never once got pregnant.

I am absolutely delighted at becoming pregnant, and am on tenterhooks until I have my first scan. The reason I'm posting this, is I need some sympathy and understanding please !!!

For the past 5 weeks I've been basically housebound and isolated with the most awful symptoms. I feel like I've developed chronic fatigue syndrome, or something ! I shuffle around the house with absolutely zero energy, aching limbs (especially my neck, it feels lke it's growing!) and just wanting to throw up all the time. Though I have constant nausea, this has not curbed my appetite. I now eat for 6 adults, and it's all I think about, what can I eat next.

I'm now 10 weeks and 1 day, and I keep reading how for most women these syptoms disappear in the second trimester. But I feel so "out of it" and dead to the world, that I can't imagine getting my energy or business brain back.

I'm on my own in with this pregnancy. I had a 3 month dalliance with the ex husband (Ex for damn good reasons) as I was very lonely and struggling to meet someone in gay Brighton! I just feel isolated, shocked, and very ill.....please tell me this passes !!!!

[SolidGoldBrass]

Congratulations! I got unexpectedly PG at 39, too (and now have a happy healthy 6-year-old DS). I do remember feeling a bit rough in the first trimester (though for the first 6/7 weeks I didnlt acutally know I was PG, just thought I had been overdoing things) but it did pass off. Have you been booked in with a midwife yet? If you feel really horrible it's worth asking your MW or GP if there is anything you can do/take to ease the symptoms - while pregnancy is not necessarily an illness, some symptoms which occur in some pregnancies do need or at least respond to treatment. You might be anaemic and need a bit more iron. for instance.

[lucy101]

Hi there - and congratulations - what a lovely surprise. My nausea and crippling exhaustion didn't end until this week... 20 weeks although it was more on and off for the last 3 or 4... so for most people it will pass (although mine tends to start up again after 30 weeks...). I have also been effectively housebound for the last 4 months and the only thing I can suggest is treating yourself with lots of DVD's and phone calls if you really can't face going out so you don't feel too isolated. I did find that a gentle walk or swim did make me feel better though. It will pass... but it might take a while...

[nigglewiggle]

Congratulations. What a wonderful surprise. Don't expect the symptoms to miraculously disappear at 12 weeks. They should gradually improve and you will be "glowing" before you know it .

[1Catherine1]

Congratulations!! My morning sickness eased after week 13 (now 15weeks) and now occasionally it surfaces but for no more than an hour a day. Still feel really tired but I find that because I have to have energy during the work day that I spend any of my home life sleeping or eating. It is substantially better than week 5 - 12 where I was off school for summer and spend my time eating, sleeping or throwing up :(

[ILoveGregoryHouse]

Congratulations.

A big shock, but a lovely one. You will feel better soon but it may still be a few weeks - I was 16 weeks with this pregnancy before I felt better.

Have you joined your MN ante-natal board? It'll be a life saver (well, you know what I mean..).

[GoodbyePinotGrigio]

Thank you everyone for your replies, much appreciated. I see my midwife tomorrow for the second time. But until I have the scans, I will not be able to fully enjoy this pregnancy, as being a dreadful worrier I'm convinced the baby will have something wrong with it !

ASs I'm so shocked at becoming pregnant, I keep wondering what triggered it? (apart from the sperm!) I conceived on the night of August 2nd. On July 17th I did the Oxfam Trailwalker challenge, a 100km walk on the South Downs Way. Do you think walking up and down hills, non stop for 27 hours could have jiggled things up a bit ? As in, unblocked my tubes ?!! Or was it the WonderLegs herbal supplement I was taking for my circulation ??
It's amazing, I'm delighted, but until I see the little blighter on a scan, I can't fully believe it !

[Toffeefudgecake]

I was pregnant at 39 too. I had breezed through my first pregnancy, but felt absolutely wretched with the second. It was like having gastric flu. And the tiredness of early pregnancy reminded me of having glandular fever many years ago. However, as previous posters have said, the nausea and tiredness did pass and the middle part of pregnancy was the best bit. Now have a very lovely five-year-old boy from that pregnancy.

Oh - and the hunger! We went on holiday whilst I was six-months' pregnant and my DH and son had to leave me at the breakfast table every morning as I ploughed through cereal, fruit, cooked breakfast, toast, more toast, etc.

And very many congratulations to you. This bit will just be a memory one day. You have a baby to look forward to - that is just wonderful!

[PaigeTurner]

Hello Pinot, congratulations!

I'm also unexpectedly pregnant (at 36) and doing it alone. Felt pretty rough for 18 weeks, and even now have to acknowledge my limits with the tiredness thing - I just can't zoom around doing things like before, and have had to shelve my business (nightlife) until after maternity leave. This is partly to do with having the concentration span of a gnat at the moment though!

Could you postpone the launch of your business for a while until you feel better?

[GoodbyePinotGrigio]

Hi Paige,

I've no alternative, the business is most certainly postponed. Financially I'm up shit creek (excuse my language!) as the money I was using to start up the business has now been used to pay an influx of bills and my weekly food bill of £250 !! Have eaten 3 Magnums, 2 trays of organic bluberries and some toast, already this morning. Have to buy an entire new wardrobe, as I've gone from a size 10 to a 14 and then of course there's the comfort buying on Ebay !

Jobseekers Allowance, here I come !!

[FindingMyMojo]

Congratulations - we're about the same stage in our pregnancies. I'm very queasy & now very dizzy & constantly starving with bad heartburn every 2nd day. Deep joy. Last time I felt much better around week 14.

For my 40th birthday I was single & 8 months pregnant. Never been happier!!!!! I had a gay male friend (very brotherly relationship) and a trusted mate as my birth partners and they were incredible.

I'm 43 (next week) and pg with number 2.

Its a huge marvellous magical adventure. You sound like you are in fantastic spirits in yourself - which is a huge asset.

[SolidGoldBrass]

GPG: I have heard that, contrary to the usual scaremongering about how women over 35 have Left It Too Late, it's not uncommon to have a kind of brief surge in fertility at the end of your 30s. I, like you, had never had an unplanned PG before DS (OK, I had suspected a time or two and it;s not impossible that I had one or two very early MCs), and had some history of gynaecological problems; in fact, shortly before DS was conceived I had been starting to think I was pre-menopausal, hence the one (and only) time of having sex without taking sufficient precautions....

Is the bloke who did the deed completely out of the picture, or a total arse? If he's OK but not your Mr Right he can still be a good, involved co-parent (my DS dad is one of these, he did piss off for the PG but had a change of heart and has been terrific ever since).

[Crystylline]

This kind of story makes me feel relieved and somehow safer in the knowledge that I'm not the only one! Congrats to you.

23+4 - found out one week ago and I'm 31 and single.

Just been haggling with the bank (to no avail) and house hunting is horrible, but necessary.

Housing services are useless and I'm just taking every tiny day at a time.

goodbye pinot grigio indeed... but blimey it's hard work.

[LisMcA]

Firstly Pinot congratulations.

From my calculations if you are 10 weeks you are due in April?? (i'm 11 weeks and due 17th :o)

Come and join us on thr April Antenatal thread. here
We are a friendly bunch! And there will always be someone around if you need anything, support, advice, whinge, cry or a rant!!

Good luck!!