Been done a million times I'm sure - poo resistance!

[EnglishGirlApproximately]

Ds is 3.6 only potty trained in last 2 months. He's alwsys been very resistant but when we felt he was finally ready was dry in 3 days. But he won't poo! He's managing to hold it in for 4/5 days until he eventually goes in his pants or a pull up in his sleep.

So far we've tried -
Reward chart
Bribes
Watching older (and younger) dc at childminders
Books
Just sitting on it and hoping
Huge praise after the one time he did it

What am I missing? I don't get angry when he goes in his pants, just ask him to try the potty next time. He knows when he needs to go as he starts running around to push it back in . We go on holiday in5 weeks and I'm stressed just thinking about I, I thought we'd be all sorted by now and not having to plan things around toilets.

He also won't go on a toilet, only a potty and while that's not ideal I can live with it for now. Any ideas, I'll try anything? !

[AnotherTimeMaybe]

When he does it is it hard? Could he be in pain? Do you get him to sit long enough so that he does it?
I know you tried bribes but did you try chocolate?
Did you show you're not happy when he had an accident?

[EnglishGirlApproximately]

It's solid and round so must hurt. He's complained of tummy ache and I've explained that having a poo will make it better but he just won't. I've even tried a lollipop bribe as they're his ultimate treat as he's mit normally allowed them. I haven't been angry or even raised my voice but I'd be surprised if he hasn't picked up on my frustration. I'm not at all angry with him, he's three and is struggling,I'm just worried.

[AnotherTimeMaybe]

Hmmm if he's in pain bribes won't work which means it's not a behavioural issue but a physical one
Maybe more water? More juice? Some probiotic to balance his gut?
If I were you I'd give him loads of water or pear and distract him with books while in the potty when you know he's due a poo
He ll definitely do one and the fear will ease
But you need to get him to sit for longer

[EnglishGirlApproximately]

Definitely behavioural. We've say for 40ons before withn books and IPad then when I finally give up he'll pull his pants up then poo in them. He doesn't drink loads tbh never has done so I'll try to increase that and look into probiotics. It doesn't help that me and dp both work ft, his cm is great and follows our lead but can't really be expected to spend hours sitting with him on the potty when she's got a house full of kids.

[EnglishGirlApproximately]

*sat for 40 mins

[Piffpaffpoff]

You need Poo goes to Pooland. Worked a treat with DD who would hold them in for AGES. Never expected that parenting would involve me sitting with a 3yo on the toilet saying 'come on then, let's send Mr Poo home to Pooland!' but, hey, whatever works!!!

[EnglishGirlApproximately]

I'll give anything a try at this stage

[Piffpaffpoff]

That's pretty much the stage I got to!! And then it worked, much to my amazement. Good luck!

[EnglishGirlApproximately]

I've downloaded the app! Did you look at it on the potty or just as part of the day? (Not you personally obviously!)

[Piffpaffpoff]

We read the story during the day - not on the toilet but we chatted about it when she was on the potty/toilet. "Is Mr Poo going home this time? I wonder who's waiting for him? Do you think his family have missed him? Will he swim straight down the pipes" etc etc. Just anything to encourage her to want the poo out and down the loo really! It's cracking me up thinking about it - truly one of my finest hours and all thanks to whoever it was on here that recommended it to me!

[AnotherTimeMaybe]

Ah talking about books we did the pirate Pete and the potty it has a fab book and another with stickers
Do give him lots of natural laxatives though cause if he's in pain he will always resist

[TitsCrossed]

Check out the ERIC website for very useful practical advice.

Poo goes to Pooland didn't work for us, neither did reward charts, backing off, talking through it, books.... Ds is almost 4 and still poos in his nappy. Has been dry day and night for 1.5yrs. He flatly refuses to poo in the toilet and insists on having his nappy. It isn't unusual, partic in boys.

[EnglishGirlApproximately]

Tried pirate Pete, he loved the book but still no poo. I'll check out that site, thanks all. Fingers crossed!

[AnotherTimeMaybe]

Good luck, I'm sure you ll get there
Maybe you should do a poo in the potty to see if he follows suit

[StandoutMop]

I had similar with dc2. Obviously needed to poo, would go to same place (by bookcase in playroom) at similar time each day but "dc2, do you need a poo?" always got a "no" but minutes later there would be a poo in the pants.

I tried bribes, rewards, everything. In the end one day I just sat them on potty mid-poo, despite the resistance. The poo dropped into the potty and the penny dropped for dc2, that it wasn't terrible in any way and better than poo-ey pants. Problem solved, although I accept I was probably lucky it worked rather than causing trauma. Not proud but I had had enough (and dc3 to deal with by then too).

[EnglishGirlApproximately]

piff thank you so much for your recommendation of Poo goes to Pooland. I downloaded the app on Sunday night, we watched it a couple of times then chatted about it during the day and da has pooed on the potty on both Monday and today with no fuss, just gone straight away not only that but he's also decided he's a big boy and got his stool pulled up,to the toilet and went for a wee.

I genuinely gobsmacked and assume it must be voodoo or hypnotism or something on that app I know it's only a couple of days in but we've gone from outright refusal to 2 poos in 2 days literally overnight

[Piffpaffpoff]

Oh wow that's amazing! congratulations all round!!

Don't thank me though, it's just another score for the collective knowledge of Mumsnet!! For all the slagging it gets sometimes, it really is a massive bank of parenting knowledge we can all tap into when we need to, and for that I am very grateful.

Now, who can help me deal with a grumpy argumentative 9yo? Anyone........?

[EnglishGirlApproximately]

I'm always amazed how much useful and utterly useless information I get from here tbh. Can't help with the 9yo though, ds is an only!