Potty training for 7 months, desperate

[zippygeorgebungle]

Hello. DD has just turned 3. She was an early talker, is really easy, well behaved, never had any tantrums or any other problems. But potty training is different. I first started last Easter, when she was 2.2 but that didn't work so tried again last August. She made a lot of progress. She wears a pull up at night but it is completely dry in the morning about 60% of the time. She seems to be able to go for hours without weeing so seems to be ready.

The trouble is she has hardly ever actually asked for the potty/toilet. She occasionally goes on her own - we leave the potty in the living room where she is as only have an upstairs toilet - but once in a blue moon. But we can put her on and she will wee etc on demand before we leave the house, or before going out to ballet class/parties etc. But if we don't keep asking her to go on the potty, she has accidents and then announces she needs the potty after the accident. She's now started getting really resistant to the toilet/potty, or just insisting she doesn't need to go (then having an accident shortly afterwards) and so it feels like we are back to square 1. She isn't difficult in any other behaviour at all, so can't understand why this has gone so wrong. We've tried all manner of stuff like chocolate buttons, loads of praise for every success etc but that seems to have only got us so far.

I've obviously completely messed this process up. I'm about to have another baby, she's meant to be starting school (pre reception) nursery in Sept, so there feels like a real urgency and yet I just don't have a clue what to do. It doesn't help that she is at a mixture of nursery two days (accidents all the time), my mum two days (fewer accidents but she asks her to go on the toilet at regular intervals) and with me other days, so rather piecemeal. Any suggestions? I'm just so anxious about this and nursery don't have any advice nor does anyone else in real life seem to have these problems.

[tortoisesarefab]

My Ds is almost exactly the same, also just turned 3. I have just decided that I will have to remind him every 2 hours ish and accept that he will have accidents. I don't think there is anything else you can do. One thing that does work for him is a challenge so I say 'I am just doing this but after that I will help you on the potty because you can't do it yourself' he then runs over to the potty to show me that he can and I act all surprised. The jollying along every toilet time is tiresome but it seems to work ok. We have also been at it over 6 months, I have a 20 month old too and At this rate she will be going to school in nappies as I have no intention of going through this again any time soon!