Lazy 6 year old

[Weeproblems]

Dd is 6 and did have problems with poos which resulted in a couple of operations when she was 1-2years old. She healed well and was discharged. Since then she has had mainly poo accidents constantly. We have had a couple of periods of a few months where there have been no major accidents but then we are back to square one.
Today was the so embarrassing. We were on the way home from school and she was fine. She ran ahead with her friend and they were on a grassy area. I saw that she was playing and then sat down on the grass looking guilty. She had sat down and wee'd on the grass. I asked her why and she said she was desperate. I asked why she didn't tell me so I could get her to a toilet. She said she didn't know she needed to go.
I just don't know what to do. We've tried reward charts, talking to her about it, telling off, ignoring it. What else is left to try?

[Misspilly88]

I would speak to your gp, and ask them to refer you to camhs (childrens mental health), we had a child at work with similar problems and a lovely lady was assigned to work with the family for a short time. Not as scary as it sounds. Hope you get it sorted it must be very stressful for her and you.

[ShoeWhore]

I'd have a read of the ERIC website - ds had a problem at around this age where he basically was ignoring the signals that he needed to go to the toilet (didn't like the school toilets) - what starts as a behavioural issues can become a physical one. They literally get no warning of needing to go and the solution is to retrain the bladder.

Time for a chat with your GP I think. Poo accidents can be a result of constipation (the child can look like they are actually rather loose) - again I'd have a read of ERIC. Wetting can also be a side effect of constipation.

We had a referral to an eneurysis clinic, it took some time to resolve but it did get sorted.

Here's the link to ERIC - I would read both the daytime wetting and the constipation and soiling sections.

[Weeproblems]

Thankyou for your replies. I'm going to read up on some of the leaflets they have after the kids are in bed. I will ring for an appointment next week. I'm going to see the health visitor for dd2 on Monday so may ask her about it and what she recommends. I know she doesn't mind toilets at school or anywhere really. She just seems to be doing what your ds did. Ignoring the signs. She does get the occasional times where she is constipated but on doctors advice from her ops we have movicol at home and use them on a one off basis. And have definitely seen a massive improvement in regards to how often they are needed. I haven't seen the Gp regarding this as I was hoping it would just sort itself out as we had seen improvements. But deffo has come to a head.
Do I need to keep a log of accidents etc before I go to the gp?

[ConsideringReconsidering]

I would keep a log, it can help you to see a pattern they you may have previously missed. I'd record where/when and any other important information e.g. was she tired/upset/been eating/drinking something unusual.

I think for the time being you need to ignore it, get her to take responsibility for cleaning herself up/dealing with dirty clothes etc, but don't punish her/tell her off. A physically and mentally well child doesn't wet themselves, there must be either a physical or psychological reason for her behaviour, she isn't doing it for a laugh.