I can totally sympathise. My DS who is 4.6 is still very much not fully trained poo wise. His is a long story involving witholding and movicol, complete refusal to sit on the loo to even try and I feel this is the most challenging part of parenting for me so far. My patience comes and goes, I have days where I'm ok and calm, others I just feel like crying! And do, quite often!
Things tht are helping us: Dry like me pads- a lifesaver when clearing up to 6 poo pants a day, they catch the worst (big sainsburys sell them) After mealtimes put on the loo even if it results in a screaming match Praise for just sitting on it Toilet seat step thingy (argos)
He has also been referred to a child psychologist, only been once so far so no feedback in that one.
It's bloody hard work when they do it constantly. Mine is going to school in September and I'm panicking he won't be ready, but nursery are super supportive.
spot on sahbear, you need to know if he has an impaction via xray. If so, a messy week at home with Movicol plan. Then a strick loo routine, after breafast, lunch, tea. Lots of fluids, praise and no reaction to messy pants.
We have been there, and, fingers crossed, at 5.7 DS has improved hugely. I would recommend going to gp for referral to bladder and bowel clinic. DS started on movicol at the same time. We followed the advice of continence nurse to the letter with regard to routine and increasing fluid intake. I think it also helped to accept it as a medical problem rather tham behavioural - which the gp had said it was before. It is such hard work to remain sane and sympathetic when you are constantly changing them. Also when everyone else seems to be able to toilet themselves. I would say the gp is the way forward and tell them how much it is effecting you all, so you are taken seriously. Good luck.
I have posted on here previously as I have been having problems with toilet training for almost 2 years. DS started school in Sept and initially things seemed to have improved. He currently has about one wee accident per day at school and I have only been called to clean up poo once last term. I have had involvement from the school nurse and have tried laxatives as he may be 'holding on' to his poos, again with some initial success. The last couple of weeks, however, have been a nightmare. Yesterday I think I changed him 6 times including having to shower him twice as he had pooed down his legs. Today he has pooed in his swimming trunks at the swimming pool - luckily not in the pool but still messy and embarrassing. I burst into tears trying to explain what had happened to the receptionist - any ideas before I lose it completely would be gratefully received.