Another poo thread...potty/toilet refusal, little bits here and there, sore bottom, at wits end

[Whitetara]

My little girl has just turned 3 and started potty training a couple of months before that. She really got the hang of the wees, but like a lot of little ones has been impossible to get to poo in the potty or the toilet.

Recently she developed a sore bottom. We are not entirely sure what caused this. This resulted in the skin breaking down and becoming infected despite cleaning her immediately after soiling. We spent four weeks treating her with creams and several trips to the doctor and finally it has healed over.

However....we had to put her back in pull ups during that time as she was so sore. She was pooing regularly but in little bits meaning she needed frequent cleaning, and was getting through a phenomenal amount of pants.

She has just gone back into pants and she continues trying not to poo in the potty or toilet but will go properly as soon as she's in a pull up, like at bedtime. The difficulty is that she continues to poo in little bits and tries to hold it in, meaning that rather than one soiling, she soils several times a day and requires several clean ups. If there is even the shortest delay cleaning her as she hides away, then her skin becomes sore. We're applying metanium currently to try and protect her skin.

Does anyone have any experience of a child who is pooing in dribs and drabs in their pants, and won't use the potty or say when they need to go? This means that she has little poos stuck between her buttocks and it's not always smelly enough to alert us and we end up constantly checking her. The hv suggested blowing bubbles on the potty to persuade her to go, but that did nothing and she just sat there blowing bubbles for ages, then pooed her pants as soon as she stood up.

I'm concerned that if she continues like this her bottom will become more sore and infected again and we'll be back to square one. She was a bit sore this evening, though the skin was intact but her bottom is constantly red. She goes to a childminder during the day a couple of times a week, and with the best will in the world, she often comes home sore because she's been dirty/wet and won't say (at least I think that's what it must be). She's also very tricky about being cleaned up...

Any advice, particularly on persuading her to poo in the potty (as I'm sure this would prevent her bottom getting sore), would be MOST welcome as we're starting to lose it...Thank you.

[Whitetara]

Bump. :-)

[DesperatelySeekingPerfection]

No advice sorry but I have the same issue, although no sore bottom.

I am sick and tired of cleaning up pooey pants. Mine has been dry for over 6 months but will not ask for a poo. :(

My dd is 3.5. I am finding it all very distressing now, going out is a nightmare and I can't put her in for full days at nursery as she will poo and they want them dry.

[sarahandchris]

Hi, We have three children and have dealt with similar situations with the eldest and youngest ones. The middle one didnt have any problems thank goodness. The eldest child ended up being referred to hospital and having to use movicol to deal with his constipation, which we finally weaned him off when he was about 7 years old. Because of this, I was on the lookout for the early warning signs with my youngest one, who is now 3. I noticed him trying to stop himself doing poos and then messing his pants and I did not want him to follow the same route as my eldest and get constipated so I did a lot of research online. Another mum recommended using tiny amounts of Senna ( a lot less than it says on the bottle), available from chemists. Now , I only use it if he hasnt gone for a couple of days and he receives a small reward for doing a poo. He is needing it less and less as time goes on, and at least he doesnt try to stop himself anymore. I know some people use Lactulose, but this didnt work for me. Hope this helps.

[Stopsittingonyoursister]

I used the lactulose with my DS.

He got wees very quickly, but just would not poo on the toilet or the potty. Instead, he used to ask for a nappy so he could go. I tried for a week or two to insist on the toilet or potty, but then he would hold it in. So I used to put him in a nappy when he asked for one, and he would poo instantly, and then go back into his pants. When it got to the point that this seemed like it was never going to end, I resorted to the lactulose. Basically, I waited until DS was going regularly, so I knew all the stools were soft and he wasn't having any pain or soreness passing motions, so there was nothing to put him off. Then I gave him a half dose of lactulose in the morning after his breakfast, and did a reward chart for getting poos in the toilet. The lactulose just helped to keep everything soft, so that DS wasn't in pain doing a poo, and also made it just that bit more difficult for him to hold it in so he had no choice but to use the toilet or mess himself. It took about two weeks before he got used to using the toilet, but since then (touch wood) has never had any problems.

Constipation and pain associated with pooing can put children off going to the toilet, so much so that it becomes more than a physical problem. A friend of mine had similar issues with her DD, who was still so determined not to poo in the toilet that she was still messing her pants when she started to school, which was distressing for her and my friend. In the end, her DD was in so much pain from the constipation, bless her, and when she did pass anything it was huge, dry and must have hurt her terribly. Her DD is still on movicol to help her out - it's like she has lost the sensation of needing a poo, and then being able to go. So anything that you can do to try and help your DD is worth a go. Best of luck.

[BeingBooyhoo]

thanks for this thread i am having the same problem with my ds3.4. i started potty training him over the easter holiday in preparation for nursery school. he got the hang of peeing in the toilet very quickly and now just goes himself to pee but just refuses to go to the toilet at all for poos. i remembered my ds1 having similar behaviour and so i thought it would just improve with time. i ask him regularly throughout the day, before we leave the house, when we get in, after meals, before bath, before bed but he just refuses and then messes his pants or holds it in until bath time where he usually poos every night without fail. he doesn't poo at all when at school or the childminders, he just holds it in until he gets home and then goes in his pants. he knows he's supposed to go in the toilet and when i ask him where he's going to poo he says " the toilet" but when i actually try to take him to it he cries and tantrums. i have tried to do reward charts and even sweets but it doesn't work. he wont sit on the toilet at all. should i just keep going with teh encouragement and hope it clicks one day? or should i try lactulose or something similar? should i take him to teh gp?

[Whitetara]

Hi and thank you for responding. I've been crazily busy and haven't been online for a while, but was heartened to see that others had been through similar things. We've also tried reward charts but it's all a bit too abstract for her and the main problem is that she's still not saying when she wants to go and if she does need to she hides away and then the poo is in contact with her skin until we check her.
Ive just ordered a book from amazon called "it hurts when I poop" and hope that this might help somewhat.

With regards to the lactulose, did you get a prescription for that and are there any contraindications for little ones - I wonder if it might make them prone to stomach cramps as senna does with me.