Those of you with dcs who took a while to be dry at night

[suzikettles]

Did you just keep with changing sheets or go back to pull-ups?

Ds is nearly 5 and as there have been various issues with daytime dryness until relatively recently I wasn't wasting too much time worrying about nights - his pull-up was always heavy in the morning and I know it's one of those things that lots of children are later with.

Anyway, after some (mild) teasing from his cousin he decided he didn't want a nappy at night so has been pjs only for the last 3 weeks.

He has a wee before bed, I sometimes take him when I go to bed (I know, I know but it's sooo tempting) and both of those times has proper wees, but without fail he's been soaking by the morning and usually in our bed by 5am - or sometimes just takes off his pyjama bottoms and gets back into bed onto a dry bit . I'm not sure if he's even waking while he's wetting or whether he's just waking in the early morning and is uncomfortable.

I just can't see how he can possibly be dry through the night when there's that much wee going through his system! It seems like a prodigious amount. I know there's a hormone that's meant to kick in at some stage and it's tempting to just go back to pullups until that kicks in.

My mum says "oh no, you've got to stick with it now" and tbh I don't mind the extra washing too much, but she said that about daytime potty training and I wasted 2 bloody years on that, so I'm more skeptical about her advice these days...

But then again, ds is totally unbothered about bodily fluids and if wearing a pull-up would almost certainly wee in it rather than get out of bed to go to the loo.

What to do, what to do?

[GoreSplattersHouse]

Untill the hormone resposible for stopping the creation of urine comes in there is no way a child can be dry. You can't "train" a child to be dry by night, they have to get there naturally. You are waistind your time, and money on washing, untill the produce the hormone to stop the need to wee. Tell your mum that you know what you are doing and get dc to accept pull ups/pyjama pants untill they are ready.

[Eaglebird]

I'd go back to pullups overnight until your DS is frequently dry overnight.
My DS is nearly 4 and still wears pullups at night. Sometimes they're dry in the morning and sometimes they're wet, so he's not reliably dry at night yet.
He's woken in the night a couple of times recently, calling for me to take him to the toilet, and he's done a big wee each time, so maybe the turning point is coming.
Don't get stressed about it, your DS will be dry at night when his body is ready. It's something to do with a hormone apparently, so he'll be dry in his own good time.
If you suspect laziness is part of the issue, how about a sticker chart to reward him for being dry overnight, with a reward (small toy etc) when the chart is full?

[savoycabbage]

I used pull ups until my dd1 was 5. Someone said to me it's like saying you should train them to walk when they are not physically ready and that made me feel a bit better. We tried everything. Taking her to the loo when we went to bed, not giving her drinks and nothing made a difference.

My dd2 was dry at night while my dd1 was still in the pull ups and I didn't do anything different with her.

[suzikettles]

You're all saying what I'm feeling. I think we should go back to pull-ups and give it another go in a few months. I think if he could be dry then he would be so I don't think a reward chart would work for this at the moment.

He's not at an age where sleepovers are really an issue - we just stay over at my mum & dads and his cousin sometimes is there too, but it was very, very mild teasing - more an expression of surprise that ds was still wearing a pull-up at night and it would be easy for me to make sure ds got ready for bed in another room if he was embarrassed.

Thanks

[AnxiousElephant]

Gore that is completely untrue! Yes they do need vasopressin but actually it is more common for there to be another reason. I am a HV and have also seen the enuresis nurse specialist regarding dd1 so I can offer the following support:

1. DC needs to drink approx 7-8 200ml drinks per day to expand his bladder capacity - use a star chart to reward drinking and not dry nights.
   
2. Toilet before bed but don't lift before you go to bed.
   
3. Get an alarm to try - within 2 weeks we had only had 2 wet nights.
   
4. No tv in the bedroom
   
5. no bubble bath straight before bed
   
6. no blackcurrant - use milk or water / very diluted natural juice.
   
7. lights out for bed.
   
8. use a landing light/ toilet light on if afraid of the dark.
   

Lights from tv/ night lamp can stimulate the diuretic hormone to produce urine.

I was a bed wetter for years (13) and was very sceptical that the alarm would work with dd1 as with one parent having done it there is a 33% dcs will. If 2 parents do it the this increases to 66% chance. It worked brilliantly We now have a completely dry child at 5.9 yo since our first meeting at the end of May

[AnxiousElephant]

PS not drinking enough is a major contributor to bed wetting! Although the last drink needs to be 1 hour before bed.

[AnxiousElephant]

Eagle rewarding a child for dry nights is not effective because they don't wet deliberately and it affects their self-esteem when they fail - reward for drinking during the day. We used colour in rockets for 8 drinks per day and this went on for several weeks.

[AnxiousElephant]

I suggest speaking to the school nurse who will be able to refer you to the local enuresis clinic. Normally they won't refer until 7 but if your ds is bothered by it then take the psychological angle and they probably will. It affected dds self-esteem . Such a difference now mind - very full of herself

[suzikettles]

Thanks Anxious. Ds is very, very bad at drinking (as am I so I often forget to make sure he's drinking enough). It would definitely be worth making sure he's getting 7-8 drinks per day and I'd estimate it's probably more like 3-4 at the moment.

Will definitely give that a try.

[AnxiousElephant]

Definately a good idea to encourage lots of drinks in the day as otherwise they get home from school and try to catch up! - result - wet bed

[DebiTheScot]

Interesting thread as I have a 5.6 yr old who is still in nappies at night. I'd never thought about him not drinking enough as a reason! He doesn't drink anywhere near 1500ml a day. Some days he probably drinks half that but I can't make him drink more at school.
He does have a friend the same age who drinks a LOT of water though and he's still wet at night too.

It doesn't bother him or me at the moment but it will when the 6+ nappies (Asda's own) don't fit any more as the dry nites are so expensive.

[suzikettles]

Well, ds was back in a pull-up last night, and we had a big chat about his badder needing to grow so it could hold in the wee all night (conversations you never thought you'd have ) and about how drinking lots would help it stretch and grow.

So, we'll see.

[AnxiousElephant]

good luck with the streching!