pooing in pants - how do i react?

[Talou1]

Hi my d.s is 3.9 and altho he knew how to use the potty at 2.5 for both wees and poos he refused to. He was finally toilet trained at 3.5 and altho we have no problems with wees he still does most of his poos in his pants. He says he "didn't know I was doing it." I don't know how to react now as I know poos are a common problem in toilet training but it's been 4 months and he knows it's wrong. If I am calm I wonder will he think "oh mum's calm so it can't matter that much" but at the same time I don't want to express anger or frustration because I know he's not doing it purposely to aggravate me. He is not impressed by star charts and even the promise of some of his fave chuggington trains hasn't done the trick. Not sure how to handle it? I am guessing in time he will just start using the toilet of his on accord? Cheers.

[chutneypig]

No advice here I'm afraid - I'm in pretty much the same position! My DS is the same age and his being dry is more recent, 2-3 weeks but he's pretty reliable there. But the poos......

Hopefully someone will be along who can help.

[Talou1]

Yeah i think its pretty common just exasperating. I don't know how to deal with it any more. I was saying "oh never mind darling you just forgot, remember to tell me next time" now i want to say for "£$%*! sake!.Not again" ha ha, Good luck.

[chutneypig]

Absolutely. I had a low point yesterday when we went to the playground and he'd bounced around in his dirty pants for a while before I noticed. Usually his twin sister is quick to point out he's had a poo - which brings it's own problems - but helps the clear up.

[blueberryboybaitonSafari]

We have dealt with it by just cleaning DD up and reminding her to use the potty next time, it didn't take long to get her ask if she needed to go. We found it was often when she was totally involved in a game/puzzle/book so took to asking her occasionally when she was playing.

[Talou1]

Yes, i do ask regularly but he then gets annoyed or says " i don't know" which translates as "i've already done it". I guess it's a waiting game.

[chutneypig]

Thanks Blueberry, did you find your DD would tell you when she'd had an accident? I'm hoping time will be the biggest help but don't want to misstep either.

I've found with wees that asking seems counterproductive with DS. He does seem to get annoyed and not go on principle and then has an accident. I'm trying now not to ask because it seems he has fewer accidents that way but feel largely like I'm a headless chicken . I guess it will all come in time but I suspect my washing machine might have given up by then!