To start or not?

[asouthwoldmummy]

DS is 2.1, and personally I don't think he's ready yet. We always said we wouldn't even think about potty training until he turned 2, and then if he still wasn't ready we'd leave it a bit longer.
Only now it seems that all of my friends with DC's his age are being potty trained, some younger than him are out of nappies altogether. I just don't like the idea of DS being the only one still in nappies. Do I try anyway or ignore what everyone else is doing and wait?

[EddieIzzardismyhero]

Firstly, southwold, try not to worry about what everyone else is doing - they may be putting pressure on themselves to do it because "everyone else" is doing it too.

Personally I think 2.1 is v young to be potty training a boy if he's showing no signs of being ready. I have a lot of friends with boys and none of them were trained before 2.6, lots trained just before their third birthday.

My DS is the same age as yours and, unless he shows huge interest beforehand, I have no intention of starting training before next Spring.

Take the cue from your DS, he'll tell you when he's ready .

(Oh and if your friends' DCs are girls definitely ignore - girls nearly always train earlier than boys).

[asouthwoldmummy]

Thanks Eddie, it's just hard to keep some perspective when all I seem to keep hearing is mums boasting about their DC's being out of nappies, will re-evaluate in the spring maybe.

[EddieIzzardismyhero]

Hmm, stick fingers in ears and lalalala when it comes to boasting!!

As with pretty much every milestone you can mention between the ages of 0 and 4, potty training has feck all to do with intelligence - but you wouldn't believe that from some mums thinking that cos Johnny can poo in a potty at the age of two he will be getting straight As at Oxford by the age of ten .

Load of crap - if you'll excuse the pun .

[asouthwoldmummy]

True!!
Someone put on facebook the other day her DS is potty trained, speaking in full sentences and can ride a bike without stabilisers all before his 2nd birthday. Sounds impressive but quite sad when you wonder if mums spend more time obsessing over milestones than just playing with their DCs

[MrsJamin]

If you don't think he is ready, he's not! Most boys I know haven't PT until nearly 3. I understand the pressure especially as "it's summer so it's sooooo much easier blah blah blah". resist the pressure and start when you want to, and when your DS is ready. My DS is 2.5 and sooo not ready!

[BornToFolk]

My SIL started training my niece at 9 months. Technically she was out of nappies by 2 but it was not an easy ride, lots of accidents and tantrums.
I'm sure it's possible to train babies/young toddlers but it's probably easier to wait until they are well and truly ready.
DS is 2.9 and still not really ready.

[Dawnybabe]

My dd1 was just about ready after her third birthday. We had tried the previous summer but she clearly didn't have a clue as she would just randomly wee anywhere and everywhere. Then one day she announced that she wanted to use the toilet and she hasn't had a nappy on since.

You will know when they're ready. Personally I don't think there's any point in trying to rush things. Your SIL basically spent well over a year cleaning up wee and poo from all over her house. Who honestly cares how long a toddler wears nappies? Before you know it you'll be wondering what all the fuss was about.

And not all mums near you are boasting about being out of nappies - I live just a few miles from Southwold and I certainly haven't been boasting!

[eish]

I think you need to listen to your mother's instincts that he's not ready. People generally 'boast' because they are relieved rather than a sense of 'my child is better than yours' (of course that is always the exception to the rule!).

My mother had my two siblings and myself potty trained by one (???!!!!), I therefore naturally had to deal with a great deal of scorn from her and have developed a thick skin for not worrying about what others think.

My daughter was potty trained at 2 1/2 (remember girls are naturally earlier and I'm not boasting, just happy to get rid of the nappies!) and we allowed her to lead the way, although we had a couple of times when I thought she was ready and realised she wasn't. We did things like put the potty in the bathroom and talk about it but no pressure to use etc. So she led the way. There's no right or wrong way but that particular one worked for us.

Don't worry about what others think, just be supportive, talk to him about it and be encouraging. Remember he'll still adore his mum, whether he's in nappies or not and that's the most important thing...

[LolaKnickers]

My daughter was out of nappies before 2, but we did it because she was dry every morning so just didn't need to be wearing nappies any more. And it happened in a matter of days - not attempting to train from 9 months!!! So when they're ready, it will happen - just ignore what others are doing. Deffo right that girls tend to train earlier than boys, from other children we know of similar age.

Are people really boasting about potty training? It seems a very peculiar form of one upmanship to me; my child's poo goes in a different place to yours??

[ches]

There's a lovely window of opportunity for potty training 18-24 months when they understand, are eager to please, and don't have an exceptionally strong will that they like to enforce constantly. Between 2-3 is a very willful age and hard to get them to agree to walk away from their play to do something as banal as use the toilet.

[ben5]

both ds were 2.8 when we started in the august. we took each day as it came and by september they were out of nappies. they were asked in the mornings if they wanted a nappy on or not and on the day they had no nappies off we had very few puddles to mop up. ds was out of nighttime nappies by 3.6 ds2 whos 4.8 is still having nighttime nappies and looks like he'll be in them forever!! i'm not worried

[MrsJamin]

Ches, I don't agree at all. Many children don't get control over their bladder by 18-24 months so no matter how wonderfully compliant they are, they could be weeing everywhere! I don't see how your post is useful to the OP.