PND - what are the signs?

[PenelopeChipShop]

Just wonderin if anyone has had PND and how you knew the difference between the usual everyday potential tiredness and difficulty of parenting and actual depression? I have had depression before so not sure why am asking can but I feel so crap. Not sure why.

My DD is 7.5 months now so maybe even too late to be PND? Also have a son, 4, whose in first term of reception.

Am just struggling with it all. Constant cleaning, school runs (have to drive for 15 mins and leave v early to get through traffic as he didn't get into the local school), feeling that I'm not a good mum.

I'm quite shy and have struggled with chatting at the school gates and am worried that me not being an 'in crowd mum' will affect DS's friendships. I don't have as much time to play with and even talk to my DD as much as I did with my DS and feel that I'm dragging her everywhere, even when she's ill she has to come to school etc, I know that's true of all second DC but I still feel guilty about it.

Feel I am not playing enough, not fun enough, not cooking good enough meals, even though my whole world is the kids st the moment I feel is never enough and I just hate myself. Is this normal ish or does it sound like PND??

Thank you for any suggestions.

[Fakehungarian]

Hello. Sounds like you're giving yourself a really hard time with all those 'not good enough' thoughts. The fact that you care whether you're good enough shows how much you care about your children and makes me think that really you are indeed good enough!

With regards pnd, I would suggest you talk to your gp about it. Even if it's not pnd it sounds like you could do with having someone to talk to, maybe a few counselling sessions or something.

It also sounds like you need a break! Is there anyone who could help you?

hugs

[suspiciousofgoldfish]

In my opinion PND (or whatever you want to call it - knackered? Under appreciated? Living a life of thankless drudgery? ) can strike at any time.

Go and talk to your GP, depending on where you live they may be able to refer you to free counselling.

Motherhood is really tough, and there are loads of us here who feel the same as you. It's totally normal.

If you can, get some time to yourself as it sounds like your whole day revolves around your children, school runs etc. Can you get out in the evening to meet friends or go to a class or something?

Some of my friends LOVE being with their kids 24/7 and I'm a bit in awe of them but seriously, sometimes you just need to leave the house and have a glass of wine and moan to a friend about how crap your life is .

[PenelopeChipShop]

Thank you for the replies. I think to a certain extent this goes with the territory of having very small DC and I am still breastfeeding the baby so don't know if I could even take any anti depressants or anything but maybe will mention it when I go for my pill check.

I think a huge part of this is not having time to myself, and I do feel unsupported, DH works very long hours and is basically MIA Monday to Friday and he doesn't wake up at nights. Even if he hears the kids he doesn't have the patience to help. He can't/doesn't really play with them either, the only thing he really will do is take them out occasionally but usually one on one so I always have one of them!

Anyway am sure I am not alone but I do find people don't really talk abut this in real life so sometimes it feels that way.

[julfin]

Sorry to be late to the party. How are you doing? It sounds as if you're putting a huge amount of pressure on yourself. Poor you - it is really tough.

I'd definitely recommend talking to the doctor about it. If you get fobbed off, go back a few days later, and again until you feel you've got the help you need. I didn't have depression but I did have post-natal anxiety, and I must say that the help I received (once it was diagnosed) was excellent - so if you haven't already sought help, please do!

Apologies for copying and pasting something I've just typed on another similar thread, but hopefully you'll find it helpful too.
I'd suggest asking your GP and HV if they can refer you to your "perinatal mental health" service/team. Through them you may be able to access either cognitive behavioural therapy or group sessions with other mums who are similarly finding it tough. It's really helpful to have a local support network of other mums who are actually willing to acknowledge that it's difficult and to help each other (which isn't always the case with people you meet through regular mum&baby groups). And from what you've said, it sounds as if you might find cognitive behavioural therapy really helpful too.

Yes, you can take antidepressants whilst BF.

Hope things are getting much better for you x