I had my DD 2 weeks ago, she is my first DC. I had an induced labour that didn't go to plan and ended up being very fast and chaotic and I was unable to have the pain relief I asked for. I think I was a bit shellshocked by the birth tbh, I needed a lot of monitoring because her heartrate kept dropping and she came out at a funny angle so I ended up birthing her strapped to monitors, and the drip, with a room full of people and being held down into a position on my side with one leg in the air so she didn't get stuck. I had a deep tear and a lot of bruising.
I loved DD instantly, as did my DH, and I made a conscious decision to put the birth behind me and focus on her. The first time I fed her in labour ward, she wasn't latched on properly and she damaged both my nipples. In trying to learn the latch the following day, it got worse so I couldn't feed her at all. I had to express colostrum every 3 hours for 2 days and feed her with 1 ml syringes. Some feeds took over 2 hours.
Since coming home I just haven't felt right at all. My amazing DH has taken to fatherhood like a duck to water and he just seems to be able to soothe DD in no time whereas I'm floundering. I love her but feel like all I can do for her is feed her and I can't even do that properly - we still can't latch without pain so I'm using nipple shields which the lactation consultants keep encouraging me to do away with. I'm finding the nights really hard - I haven't had more than 2 hours sleep in a row since going into labour. Most nights I manage 4 or 5 hours but in short bursts because she wakes so often to feed.
She also has terrible wind and after most night feeds is screaming and writhing in pain. I've tried everything I know to help her but I can't. I think the wind might be because of the nipple shields.
I feel like all this was supposed to come naturally but none of it has. I've cried every day since I had her - is that normal with hormones etc? I realized the other day the feeling I keep getting is homesickness. Its like I'm homesick for the life I had before and I know I can't get it back even if I wanted to ( I don't, I adore her). I just feel so unsettled and sad and useless, and guilty that she has me as a mum. Is this something that passes?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
As with all health-related issues, please seek advice from a RL health professional if you're worried about anything.
Postnatal health
Are these feelings normal 2 weeks PP? Struggling.
9 replies
User24689 · 28/08/2015 14:40
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.