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Sept '08 - The one where they go out into the big bad world (well school!)

(547 Posts)
ninja Tue 29-Jan-13 12:54:25

Hi, couldn't find a new thread and there was only one message to link to one.

Hope I haven't stepped on anyones toes creating this!

Badvoc Tue 29-Jan-13 13:11:04

Hi ninja...didn't get round to it after all! smile
Thanks for new thread.
X

Hello shiny new thread! cheers! brew

notcitrus Tue 29-Jan-13 22:25:41

Hello! Nice title, though I'm trying to convince myself of what I told A, school is like nursery only bigger and better...

ninja Tue 29-Jan-13 22:57:15

M said to me the other day that she was looking forward to school so she could learn lots of things (she may have mentioned reading and writing!), it was said very seriously and was very sweet smile

Mediation again tomorrow to try and actually make some decisions unlike last time. Hopefully he'll be more chilled as he's just come back from holiday

How did mediation go ninja? Do you need a glass of wine before you answer that? Hope it was more productive than last time.

I thought DS1 was looking forward to school - he will love it - but out of the blue the other day said actually he doesn't want to go because he won't have enough play time. I emphasised that there is masses of play time in Reception, plus all the time at home after school. I'm sure he'll be fine <hopeful>

We need to find MrsA and direct her to this new thread! Also debi and debs and starlight and kagey and who else have I forgotten...?

And ILTMIMI and meglet!!!

ninja Fri 01-Feb-13 13:23:17

Mediation rubbish and depressing, agreed very little and they said it's the last one. Trying not to feel down about it hmm basically among other things when he goes skiing he's refusing to let me see them days before and after so in a stretch of over 3 weeks I would only see them 4 nights, in fact in a whole month I'd just see them 6!

When he went away without them he had extra nights before and after.

Luckily I have the passportswink

Debs75 Fri 01-Feb-13 19:49:40

Found you allgrin

Ninja would it be worth going to court and pinning twatbadger down to specific times and dates? I know court should be the last resort but it seems he thinks he can do what he likes and he expects you to just let him It would be restrictive on you both but it might be fairer.
Maybe just forget to pack the passports when he takes them so you have an excuse to see them for an extra day.
How are the dd's handling it all? I would of hated not to see my mum for nearly a month at that age.

Robyn is definitely ready for school, pity she won't be going until September. She does love nursery atm and her progress report was brilliant. She is on target and where she needs to be to start school now. I will miss her, I like having Wednesdays with both girls to play together.
We've just worked out that when Lucy starts school DD1 will start Unishock. September 2014 will be a sad month in our house

Badvoc Fri 01-Feb-13 19:55:16

Was going to suggest that too, ninja.
Debs beat me to it! smile
Seriously. I think it's the only way now. You have been more than reasonable.
What a shit day I have had...mum very poorly. Gp and paramedic.
Tired.

ninja Fri 01-Feb-13 22:08:46

I'm going to e-mail the solicitor and see if anything can be done. At the moment it's just the skiing in March that's the major sticking point and I don't know if anything can be agreed before that. There might always be one more thing though.

The thing is, he won't agree out of court, it would cost 10's of thousands maybe and where would we be? It's really not hard - we have the most important things sorted, we both love the kids, can't he just stop trying to hurt me.

I seriously hate him at the moment and wish he were ill and I don't like myself for that.

I don't like that I feel like I'm nitpicking all the arguments 'cos I can't just relax and trust he'll do the same.

I don't kile that I've spent almost every waking hour today trying to work out how to 'solve' this

I hate feeling stressed every time I have to answer an e-mail, speak about it.

I'm just sick of it sad

Sorry - it's so minor really and I'm sorry to go on. Trust me if I thought court were a quick fix I'd do it, but I know ExH it would just make him more difficult

ninja its not minor that you're going to go that long without seeing your precious girls, and its not minor that he's being so hurtful and its not minor that this is causing you to be so stressed so please don't apologise! I have no advice to offer but I think you're brilliant in doing the best for your girls and holding your head high manly pat on back <great big hug>

Badvoc Sat 02-Feb-13 14:44:22

It's not minor ninja.
He is bvu and doing it to hurt you.
And that means he is a terrible human being.

Meglet Sat 02-Feb-13 20:21:16

I'm here!

Badvoc Sat 02-Feb-13 21:44:14

Hi meg < waves>

ninja Sat 02-Feb-13 22:23:55

Thanks, feeling better today smile it's right, though, that after 8 days away skiing with the kids he'll be shattered and have loads to do and tbh would probably prefer a day alone and would be keeping the kids just to spite me hmm

I felt better after I wrote a response ( not sent yet, thought I'd sleep on it) and I've also found a different way of explaining the situation which agrees with the way he sees things but allows me to see the kids when they get back.

Had a lovely day with my sister and kids today and have nice plans for tomorrow. I'm sure I plan more for them now I don't see them so often. Not sure if that's good or bad.

Maebh has been to see a speech therapist. She has problems with her 'k's and her 'g's and some others. She went for an assessment in November which she loved and the lady was great. The lady yesterday was not so good. She clearly also had a problem with germs and shouted at M not to touch the cards which she'd asked her to point at because she had a cold hmm . M wasn't that well behaved and played up and the therapist tried to suggest that as she didn't have the concentration and listening skills underpinning her speech she couldn't work on the sounds themselves and offered to refer us for behavioural therapy.

While I agree that she can have her moments, she'd generally been a lot better lately and I think she was being asked to do something quite strange. She has another appointment next week so we'll see how it goes.

Meglet Sun 03-Feb-13 21:48:03

ninja I think it's the speech therapist who has issues, not your DD who has behavioural problems! I'm dreadfully uptight about germs and when it rubs off on the dc's they play up for me.

We're all ok-ish here. DS is plodding along nicely at school, DD is as feral / cute as ever and the house is slightly untidy.

Meglet Mon 04-Feb-13 14:21:00

What size are everyone's DD's feet? DD is now a 10, I'm sure that must be big for her age. She's average height and her feet don't look that big though. I wonder if she's about to get a growth spurt, her legs are looking a bit thinner than usual.

Badvoc Mon 04-Feb-13 14:33:42

Toby's feet were a 10.5 but he has grown.
Taking him for new shoes next week.

Badvoc Mon 04-Feb-13 14:34:11

....and he is in 4-5 clothes.
And they Aren't big either!!

ninja Mon 04-Feb-13 19:47:10

Maebh is a 10 - although possibly bigger now, must get her checked. Her feet are almost as wide as they are long though which is a challenge!

I generally buy her 5-6 clothes as she's quite tall and solid (not fat though)

Meglet Tue 05-Feb-13 21:36:24

ah, thanks. It seemed really big for a 4yo girl, maybe it isn't after all smile. Her dad was a size 12 so I assume both the DC's will have fairly big feet.

ninja Wed 06-Feb-13 00:00:44

The speech therapy thing gets better.

They've contacted preschool - 8.40 on Monday morning asking about m's behaviour ( which is fine) and telling them that her speech is age inappropriate because she would only answer in single words (because she didn't like the woman and didn't want to play) and .....

Telling them they should refer me onto a parenting course as she was really worried! They refused smile they said she sounded really odd

I have another appointment on Friday and if M is well ill take her. If the speech therapist is as difficult as last time I might have to report it as I'm a little concerned.

Oh well -

Debs75 Wed 06-Feb-13 08:52:47

Robyn is a size 9 but they were from summer so she must have grown by now.

Ninja she does sound a bit weird. Has she never worked with a child who feels unsecure in her prescence so doesn't respond? Surely she should know that 1 meeting with a child is not enough to form an opinion about the family.

ninja Wed 06-Feb-13 09:12:54

I know debs and the thing is she was exemplary at her initial assessment - you'd have thought if there were any concerns that they would have said then.

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