Mumsnet Talk

i wonder why now

will set up own party.

Can I be Chancellor please

There will be no need for new parties as I am shortly to be World Dictator and plan to abolish them all.

Even BYOB ones? I loves a good party, me

ALL parties, in fact all gatherings of more than one person.

Perhaps he thought you were a covert Tony Christian reminder, Su..

<stages military coup>

<Crushes coup thoroughly and mercilessly with elite crushing force. Hangs everyone and decorates gibbets the lengths and breadths of the land>

he is dithering over which fish to think about and holding focus groups to see how it will go down in hertfordshire

ooh hully, you are so masterful <swoons whilst plotting behind hully's back>

ROFL BO (oh that's an unfortunate acronym!)

<Kills a few more for good measure and further demonstrance of masterfullness and general swaggering manliness. Tosses them about the trees. Gives self chestloads of Very Important Medals and grows an alarming moustache.>

Good luck whipping your minions into a frenzy Hully. Half of them are on AIBU whittling on about jeggings.

I think you need to create a master race. You may clone me if you ask nicely/give me a seat at your right.

Jeggings? The very devil. I shall dispatch my elite crushing force to er, crush them forthwith. In my Dictatorship everyone shall be naked and proud, unless it's a bit parky in which case mittens in an approved colour may be donned. I shall consider you for a lieutenantship in an act of blatant favouritism.

<passes the Immac for the moustache>

Jolly ho. I do very much like mittens though as a lieutenant I will also require some sort of hat and perhaps a big red button. I'm quite easily pleased.

Can we ban bono as our first act. And women who keep cuddly toys in their cars as our second. Ruthless is the way forward I feel.

don't take it personally, he's still considering what type of fish and will announce his ponderings on Twitter in the coming weeks

So unfair Su.
You could have had your own
anacronym

SOTF

Graphic: <@}>>>><

Campaign song: I got sole, but I ain't a soledier

Can we ban those little signs in cars that say 'princess on board'?

<Stamps on Immac. Fixes demanding lieutenant with beady eye>

Take up your pen, Lieutenant, we shall begin a List.

1. Bono
2. Cuddly toys in cars
3. Jeggings
4. Macaroni Cheese

(I'm joining btw, I promise to be naked and wear designated mittens)

5. Princess on board signs.
6. All cutesy and sickening signs anywhere.

And ankle length Ugg-type boots worn with mini-skirts?
And Gordon Ramsey?
And any of those series of magazines aimed at children which are £5.99 each week and come in 50 installments...

All people named Gordon should be banned

and limescale in kettles, cosmetic surgery, teflon and 'the dentist smell'

Very well, very well. I hope you're getting all this, lieutenant?

<stages one-woman protest, about anything really>