When is it good to be ruthless?

[Earlybird]

In speaking with a friend recently, she said I should learn to be more ruthless. That word is weighted with negative connotations for me.

When is it good to be ruthless? Do you feel you've been 'mean' after? Examples of real life situations would be helpful.

[expatinscotland]

When it means your own survival as a caring and decent human being worthy of love, respect and happiness.

Then it doesn't seem a matter of ruthlessness but of good conscience.

[DumbledoresGirl]

It is good to be ruthless when you are sorting through a box of stuff you have had for years and never ever looked at or needed or even thought about. Chuck it all, I say.

When else would it be good to be ruthless? Hard to say...

[Earlybird]

So, it's basically 'don't be a soft touch'?

[expatinscotland]

Not necessarily. But too often, you see on here, were people have conditioned to please others to the point where they feel compelled to do things they find very, very detrimental to themselves, their well-being (spiritual, emotional, mental and physical) and even their families.

And I find that incredibly sad, not ruthless.

[Earlybird]

Yes, I am quite accomplished at inconveniencing myself to help others, which goes hand in hand with ignoring my wishes/desires/needs - often to the point of not knowing what it is I want.

[MaryBS]

I think people with low self-esteem struggle to be ruthless.

I reckon I could be ruthless if I were protecting my children.

[Nizanna]

when dealing wit your psycho ex :D

[ameli]

gosh some of you have hit the nail on the head, specially expat about doing things which are detrimental to self. I do admire confident assertive people, ruthlessnes seems to diregard anyone elseses feelings. Mind you people im 29 now and ion the last few years ive realised that you may as well please yourself in life and think of no 1........rarely do peeps appreciate your efforts. except close friends occasionally dh's.

[startouchedtrinity]

Earlybird, I think your friend has got the wrong word - 'assertive' might be better - 'setting boundaries' might be another.

I've been reading about compassion, and how to be truly compassionate you have to be compassionate to yourself, in order to refuel enough to give it to others. I know I can't cope well with the social side of the school PTA so give it a miss, even though part of me feels I 'should' be on it. I feel more peaceful and so am able to support the school in other ways.