Roman Catholics, at what age (generally speaking) are dc confirmed in the UK nowadays pls?

[Stewedcoot]

We live in continental Europe and our dd's primary school is asking whether we want her to be confirmed next May, even though she is only in last year of primary (11 yrs).

We received the letter yesterday and they want a reply by today!

My dh and I were both confirmed around the ages of 13/14 yrs.

We are a Catholic family and want dd to be confirmed, but feel that 11 yrs is a bit young, as we really want dd to have a more complete understanding and awareness of the decision she is making. (At the moment her reasons are "I want to be Confirmed at the same time as my friends".)

Any info/advice/thoughts appreciated!

[TheHoneyBadger]

sorry, i don't know about 'nowadays' but i was confirmed at 12 i think. i'm not in the church now but my sisters kids had their first communion at just turned 7 and i remember thinking how awfully young they were to be being told they were sinners who must confess their sins to a priest in a box to be worthy of receiving God - it literally made me feel quite disturbed.

i don't remember confirmation feeling like as big a deal - is your concern that they're not old enough to know what they're saying?

[NorwaySpruce]

Our church has just increased the starting age for the course to Year 10, so 15ish I guess.

I know that it's done much younger in Europe generally.

I was about 14.

[TheWoollybacksWife]

My DDs were Confirmed in Year 6 at age 11. I was Confirmed in senior school at about 14.

I believe that there are some Diocese that are making Confirmation even earlier than Year 6 and First Communion even later than Year 3.

[Stewedcoot]

Thank you everyone. Still uncertain as to what to do for the best! May try and ring the secondary school that we are hoping she will get in to and see if they have Confirmation classes, and if so, in what year.

Yes, I am concerned about her not really truly understanding what she is saying/the commitment she is making. I feel 14 yrs would be better as she will be more mature and (having attended secondary school for a couple of years) will have more understanding and comprehension of the wider world around her, including other religious beliefs too.

[Stewedcoot]

Also, don't really like the feeling of being pressured by the school if I'm truly honest about it!

[Lookingforfocus]

Can you talk to your local parish priest?

[Stewedcoot]

Yes, I need to do that too Lookingforfocus although we are a bit peripatetic when it comes to Sunday mass!

[TheHoneyBadger]

i think face the fact it's just a ritual and that yes, of course, they want to do it with their friends.

the reality of will they commit their life to their faith, is this something they will genuinely stick with rather than just be the traditions and 'norm' of their upbringing etc will be a question for real life and time rather than one ceremony.

it's a signpost along the way but the journey is the bigger picture.

[Stewedcoot]

Yes, that makes complete sense - thank you HoneyBadger

[Lookingforfocus]

It is a Sacrament and not "just a ritual" for Catholics so I would chat to the priest and figure out what makes the most sense for your family.

[Stewedcoot]

Yes, disagree it is "just a ritual" but meant I agree aobut it being the beginning of a journey (to use the dreaded 'J' word) and that a life-long genuine commitment is more important than anything else really.

[CPtart]

DS2 was confirmed last year at the same time as making his first holy communion, the class were aged 9 (year 4).

[Stewedcoot]

Goodness, I've never heard of doing it all at once. I suppose it comes down to lack of priests and resources etc

[CPtart]

Just a new regime in this area I think. It wasn't very special tbh. DS1 did them separately at 9 and 10 and it was much nicer.

[SauvignonBlanche]

DD is making hers this week, she's 14.

[TheWoollybacksWife]

CPTart are you in Liverpool Diocese? I know they are Confirming and giving First Communion in Year 4

[CPtart]

We live in Lancashire.

[wigglesrock]

I'm in NI and it's done the last year of primary school, so 10/11 years.

[FiveGoMadInDorset]

I was 11 when I did mine. DD did her first Holy Communion last year, yr 3, no talk of combining it with Confirmation

[Stewedcoot]

Thank you very much for yet more useful replies!

I've spoken to my parish priest and to the priest of the church we actually attend the most, and the dc of both parishes start Confirmation prep in 5th primary, and actually undergo the sacrament in May of 6th primary (ie 10 and 11 yrs).

It seems to be almost universal practice here (in Belgium) so I think we have decided to go with the norm ... .

But Sauvignon I still think 14 yrs is by far a better age for it!

Thanks again everyone!

[Lookingforfocus]

Glad you have a resolution and prayers for your daughter as she prepares for the Sacrament x

[Stewedcoot]

Thank you Lookingforfocus much appreciated and sending some back in return!

[Stewedcoot]

Thank you 1944girl

[rivierliedje]

I might be a bit late, but I'm in Belgium too and went to local schools myself. The general population (who are Catholic for history, culture and festivities, but don't actually go to church all that often) do first communion in second primary and confirmation in sixth (years 3 and 7 respectively) via school. I did go to school with some people who where more religious and they generally did their confirmations slightly later through the churches they attended at about 14.

But the tradition is definitely at age 12, there are a bunch of cultural traditions associated as well (big party, lots of gifts of money and a grown up bike, pictures, nice clothes, cake shaped like a lamb which oozes strawberry jam when you cut it).