Talk

Flip

Join our Philosophy forum to discuss religion and spirituality.

Philosophy/religion

Bat mitzvah

9 replies

waggledancer · 22/02/2006 18:49

Am going to dh's niece's bat mitzvah on Saturday. She was 12 earlier this month and we sent card and present. Is it the done thing to take present/card to bat mitzvah? Husband insists no, but I'm not so sure. Advice appreciated

OP posts:

Report

mummytosteven · 22/02/2006 18:50

I think you are correct. It's many years since I've been to a bat mitzvah though, so maybe etiquette has changed

Report

waggledancer · 22/02/2006 20:05

bump

OP posts:

Report

cori · 22/02/2006 20:14

Um, yes i think you are meant too. DH talks about gifts he recieved for his bah mitvah, and you can buy cards from shops in areas with jewish populations.

Report

Blandmum · 22/02/2006 20:22

found this on a website

'One of the most common questions I get on this site is: do you give gifts at a bar or bat mitvah, and if so, what kind of gifts?

Yes, gifts are commonly given. They are ordinarily given at the reception, not at the service itself. Please keep in mind that a bar mitzvah is incorporated into an ordinary sabbath service, and many of the people present at the service may not be involved in the bar mitzvah.

The nature of the gift varies significantly depending on the community. At one time, the most common gifts were a nice pen set or a college savings bond (usually in multiples of $18, a number that is considered to be favorable in Jewish tradition, see: Hebrew Alphabet: Numerical Values). In many communities today, however, the gifts are the same sort that you would give any child for his 13th birthday. It is best to avoid religious gifts if you don't know what you're doing, but Jewish-themed gifts are not a bad idea. For example, you might want to give a book that is a biography of a Jewish person that the celebrant might admire. I hesitate to get into specifics, for fear that some poor celebrant might find himself with several copies of the same thing!

When in doubt, it never hurts to ask the parents or the synagogue's rabbi what is customary within the community'

Report

waggledancer · 22/02/2006 21:36

On tricky ground here cos husband and his brother are insistent that since we have already provided for birthday then we have done our bit. Niece's family not particularly observant re their faith, and are definitely not orthodox cos the rabbi is female. Like the idea of giving something small connected to Jewish role models, so will suggest it as a compromise as we are very anti money as a gift

OP posts:

Report

Tanzie · 22/02/2006 22:16

Book by Julia Neuberger? (as good Jewish role model, rather than perhaps Vanessa Feltz...)

Rimmon Judaica does nice jewellery - silver and not too expensive.

Report

cori · 22/02/2006 22:30

It is an important celebration, and a gift given at this time will be long remembered after the birthday is forgotten about. Rather like a Christening or a First Holy Communion. Something a bit jewish would be best I think.