Neighbour's cat seems to have moved in with us - help!

[do11y]

Our new set of neighbours moved in about 2 months ago. They seem very nice and are quiet but private so we do not know much about them. From the very beginning, their lovely cat started wondering into our garden and soon we became fast friends. Within the first 3 weeks of their arrival, I went over to introduce myself and also mentioned that their cat seems to have very quickly grown quite fond of us. At the time we had not fed him at all, but as we love cats, we did spend a lot of time making a fuss of him. Since those first weeks, the cat has started sleeping over and seems to spend all his time over here now. He follows me around and I've even witnessed him defending 'his territory' (my garden!) from other cats!

Then 10 days ago, we noticed he seemed very hungry (21h30 and no lights on next door so I wasn't sure if there was any food down for him) so we did give him small bite of tuna, very naughtily, but since have not fed him again. I now feel very anxious about this situation. I won't lie: I have grown fond of the cat, but am very aware he is not our pet and I know how I would feel if someone stole my pet, so I really do not want to do that to anyone else. At the same time, this cat seems to have made this his home and he is constantly around us.

I'd like to be honest with the neighbours and find out if there is anyone there actively looking after him (giving him love, engaging with him, etc), feeding him is clearly not enough. He obviously loves the fuss we make of him. What should I say to the neighbour? I am afraid of sounding like I want to steal the family pet. I obviously want to stay on the right side of the new neighbours and continue our good relationship, but more importantly I want to make sure the cat gets all the ingredients he needs to keep him happy at home. Please help!!

[nickymanchester]

I think that you'll find that cats quite often are capable of spending time in more than one home. They'll quite happily spend the day with you and then go back to their other home afterwards.

With regard to feeding, there was a programme on a few weeks ago, part of the Horizon series called something like The Secret Life of Cats. That showed a lot of cats going into other homes and eating the food put out for other cats before going back to their own home. So perhaps you don't need to worry too much about the effects of feeding the cat.

Perhaps best not to say anything at the moment, the cat appears to be enjoying the situation. However, if the cat decided that it was going to spend the night with you rather than heading off home when it's owners got back from work I think then would be the time to mention to them that their cat was spending a lot of time at your house.

But, if the cat happily heads off back to it's owners every day at some point then I would say there's nothing really to worry about.

[do11y]

Thank you Nicky, since my first message, the neighbour came over and asked me whether we would mind feeding him for 10 days as they were going on holiday. We agreed and fed the cat the food supplied by the neighbour. Now that the neighbour is back, he has taken all food back but I am very sure the cat has not returned to his real home at all. He spends his nights here and is here all the time. Last night he was crying for food and running to his empty bowls in the kitchen every time we headed that way. We have not fed him, so he ended up catching a mouse and bringing it in here. The thing I am very worried about, is that the cat might venture further and further away to get food instead of going back home. We live on a very road (and have already lost one poor kitty on this treacherous stretch) so keeping this new cat around here by constantly engaging with him has been one way of taking his attention away from the front of the house and busy road. I can see two solutions to this situation:
1 - the neighbour starts engaging more with the cat so he won't be looking for attention elsewhere
2 - we just feed him so he stays around our small patch and doesn't venture too far into danger.
What do you think?

[27cats]

I would get some cat food in and feed the cat if he seems that hungry, so long as he doesn't appear overweight. Cats do split their time sometimes, but I think this sounds more like he has chosen you as the place he'd prefer to be.

[Twirlyhot]

How about 3, stop letting someone else's cat into your house! If you want a cat, get one. You're now suggesting feeding their cat to protect it!

[do11y]

Twirly, option 3 is harder than you think. I have locked the cat flap so he cannot venture in, but as it is warm outside presently I do have windows open which he gets through. I am most certainly suggesting protecting the cat from the busy road - any animal lover would. I do not want to see this cat harmed. My preference (by far!) would be to see this cat enjoying his OWN home. But it seems he is over here all too often and the neighbour has made very little effort to entice him back home. Every time the neighbour has been around here (4 or 5 times in total) the cat is in our home or garden. The neighbour laughs it off and says the cat looks very happy.

[WhereBeThatBlackbirdTo]

Our neighbour's cat decided to move in several years ago. She spent almost a year sitting patiently outside then gradually wormed her way in. Tbh, the neighbour didn't seem to want her.

I spent ages wondering what would happen if we decide to move - would we take the cat or leave her with her original owners. Then, one day, the neighbours moved out without a backward glance.

I guess the cat is mine now!

[do11y]

What I would really like to do is to tell the neighbour to start engaging more with this cat and loving it so that he actually wants to to back to his home. By far, the easier option would be to just feed him and say nothing to the neighbour. Any suggestions on how I can do this? Yes I would love a cat, but no, I do not want to steal someone else's pet.

[EauRouge]

If the neighbours are happy for you to own the cat then arrange something formal- otherwise there may be disagreements if it comes to a large vet bill. If you don't want to accept any responsibility for it (including financial) then I would stop deliberately feeding it. If it sneaks in and eats your cat's food then that's different.

[do11y]

UPDATE: I invited the neighbour over last night to talk about kitty. Neighbour admits cat must be looking for company as house is empty for long periods. Neighbour is supplying food which he says kitty is eating (relief). I also mentioned that kitty is scratching alot which neighbour will medicate. Neighbour is a nice man and I am glad I raised it. I am sure it seemed silly but I am concerned about kitty's roaming on busy road and our reasons for trying to keep him round the other side of the house.

Twirly, so for the record, not every person who is worried about an animal is trying to steal someone else's pet. I am an animal lover who wants the best situation for any animal I come into contact with.

[Twirlyhot]

I understand your concern but I wouldn't assume a cat isn't being fed because it fusses you for food. I'd assume it's a cat!

[sashh]

Please see my post about Norman and my other neighbours.

[Caffeineaddictedmumof4]

I posted about my cat a few months ago, he only comes home about twice a week, he grumbles at me till I scratch his ears then he eats some food & he's off again I'd love him to stay in more but he seems to like his freedom too much.

On the other hand my mum had a little white kitten hanging out in her garden, she had a collar & tag but after a while she wasn't wearing them anymore. She started coming into the house, now my mum has her plus 5 kittens! She's being neutered next week and when my mum moves (hopefully in 2wks) she's taking them all with her.

[Felinelover]

My concern is negligence of two kittens left out all day in the rain hiding in my garden. I located the owner who was unconcerned . If i find them hiding in my garden tonight i will report them

[Lily2007]

Glad you got it sorted. I think some cats love having more than one home.

A neighbours cat used to always be at mine and would stay overnight, sleeping on my neck purring away. It also used to beg for food though it was looked after and loved at home. I did tell the people and they were happy about it, said she was a rescue cat scared of everything so pleased she wasn't scared.

[Joubertrita]

Hi i need advice please. My 16 year old cat passed away 10 days ago. One of the residents cata in our complex has moved in with us. I do not want another cat. He won’t go home. What do i do?

[62RiveRs]

We are having same problem . Next door cat started staying with us when new baby arrived next door. They already had 2 boisterous boys so I think she comes here for peace & quiet. Lately the owner keeps coming round & playing hell with us for keeping the cat. I have been so upset today as he was so nasty with me this morning. When the cat is crying to come in & the weather is bad we feel we can’t leave her outside. I understand it must be annoying for them but what do we do.?

[Booboostwo]

Firstly you do not resurrect a ZOMBIE thread. That helps no one. Secondly you make a new post and get advice.

[Endofmytether91]

I’m having this exact issue now!
Young cat has become very comfortable and jumps in my windows every single time I open them.
I love the wee thing but it’s becoming a huge issue and always seems to be outside.
When I tried to approach the new neighbours about him being outside my door and windows all the time when I’m trying to get to sleep for work they blamed me instantly and the new neighbour is very angry claiming I’m doing it on purpose but they let it out all day every day.

I don’t feed it but it’s starting to drive me insane as the cat is outside in the rain sometimes till 1/2/3 am keeping me awake yowling to get in I just don’t know what to do anymore! I pick him up drop him towards their house multiple times a day and night.

[BananaLama88]

Totally with you, same issue
Back in 2020 we had a young female cat start visiting us. Beautiful little thing. First she visited us when it was cold or wet outside. She didn't seem like a stray, so we didn't feed her, although she could not help herself stealing bits or bobs from our cat when we were not watching.
Then she started to having sleepovers during winter, we figured i worked nights at home anyway so bit of mutual company would not hurt.

At some point we have noticed some issues with the cat : worms, ear infection, flees. Basically standard package for a cat that spends its time outside and not being treated. This carried on for a few months, cat kept on coming in but we could not calculate what house she comes from. Too many blocks around and this cat, like many other cats in our neighbourhood, uses garden fences to walk round 'their kingdom'. Finally we saw something that did put our minds at ease , she looked like she visited a vet clinic with neck being shaved abit, spotted 'antifleed' back etc.

In 2021 it was a toughie. We noticed she significantly lost weight, did not touch any food, didn't drink. But instead of seeking comfort at her own home , she stayed with us for days, sleeping all the time. I was besides myself with worry. I have had enough , I figured her owners registered her at local vet clinic , called them asking for advice, provided pics the cat so they can confirm she is their client. Compliance rules, understandably, dictate vet clinic is not allowed to provide owners contact details without their permission. I asked the clinic to contact the owners on my behalf passing my contact details and address so we could communicate properly. Perhaps they were out of town, hence why i heard noone knocking on our door looking for a cat, or missing cat posters stuck around our village....
Vet clinic told me to contact RSPCA, and RSPCA told me the only thing they can do is pick her up, scan her chip, if there is one and find her owners, alternatively rehome her . I did not want for that poor thing to be taken away at all, especially in her condition. So I brought her to the vet clinic asking to check what's wrong with her, notify her owners, and I would gladly pay the fees without any compensation, I wanted to make sure cat gets better.
The next day I receive a phone call notifying the cat was picked up by her owners, that nothing was wrong with her at all (I doubt they even checked since i was not the owner requesting for help). Owner asked to pass on we don't feed the cat or let her in. Cat was back at our place the same day....not eating anything again, just sleeping it off

Because we have our own cat who goes outside ,our windows or garden doors are always open when we are home. So cat in question has free access and exit at any point, again we don't feed her , she 'steals' when she feels like it, she goes out before nights fall. So whether she depends nights home or any other home, I have no idea.

Recently we had another blow , but this time ftom cats owners.
Around 6pm I was walking my partner to the car before he leaves for work, he starts the cars, starts pulling back to the road, cat in question appears out of nowhere and follows the car, which means she could potentially get into an accident. To keep the cat out of the harms way, I grab the cat and put her down on the floor in the hall , front door is open , car pulls away and disappears 3 seconds later and cat comes outside again and disappears as well.
Apparently one of our neighbours saw me manhandling the cat inside the house and keeping her indoors ever since....wow!

Hour later cats owners turn up, asking where the cat is. I was glad to finally meet them face to face, considering their ignorance and lack of gratitude. Also I wanted to talk to them about cats bad ear, since vet in 2021 claimed it to be fine....fine , my foot. Poor cat can't even touch the ear now without screaming the house down

I explained cats not in our house, explained what happened and instead of gratitude or at least some kind of constructive conversation amongst neighbours, like normal people, I got laughed at , intimidated , called crazy and insane. Both husband and wife screamed their lungs out , making a scene...at least neighbours had a show.

Funny thing is , when they were having a go at me, cat in question attempted to come in again.
Literally walked past them....obviously I shut the door . Instead of going to her owners , cat started running away from them, they were chasing her around the street ....cat got away.