Wedding Ettiquette - What would you do?

[Ceolas]

We have received an invite to an evening reception. It's a friend of my sister's whom I hardly know and without wishing to be blunt, I don't really like

I don't want to go to the wedding because I will be 34 weeks pregnant. The thought of finding something to wear (that I'll never wear again) and going out to such a do at that stage in pregnancy makes me feel ill!

So, I am sending a regret. Would you

a) give a reason?
b) buy a gift? She has included a gift list card with the invitation.

[McDreamy]

I wouldn't give a reason, unable to make is sufficient. I wouldn't buy a gift either but I might send a card.

[hana]

I wouldn't go and you dn'[ thave to gi e a reason
would send a card, tis tacky to include a gift card, esp as you've not been invited to the whole thing


I don't get this practice of inviting some people to the actual ceremony, and then invite more people to the meal and perhaps even more to the postmeal 'reception/dance' thing. For me it would have to be all or none

[edam]

No, wouldn't do either. You don't know her well enough to be obliged to buy a gift, she's just stuck the list in all the invites.

[kate100]

I wouldn't give a reason, from what you've said it doesn't sound as if you see much of her anyway. I wouldn't buy a gift, but would send a card.

[Mumpbump]

I never expected anyone who was only invited to the evening reception to give us presents and was gob-smacked when a few did - family friends basically. I would simply say you can't make it and don't worry about sending a gift.

[Rhubarb]

It is polite to give a reason rather than just say 'no'.

Your reason is a genuine one and if you are going to the trouble to decline you might as well say why.

As for a gift, well a card would be nice but a gift is up to you. As you don't know them very well and you were only invited to the reception I would say that you can get away without a gift.

[Rubyslippers]

don't need to give a reason or buy a gift - just write a nice message on the regret card saying "sorry we can't be with you - have a wonderful day" or something like that ...

[amidaiwish]

i agree with rubyslippers and the others
no need to do a card or gift
just send an RSVP declining saying "hope you have a lovely day, sorry we can't be there"

[Grrrr]

I don't mind the use of those gift list cards at all as providing you read them you will find that they say " IF you would like to buy the couple a present......." , so I wouldn't worry about a gift particularly as you don't like your sister's friend anyway.

Just send a reply saying you regret that you are unable to attend.

[smallone]

I would just send a "won't be able to attend" and I definitely wouldn't bother with a card or gift. if you don't know her that well she probably won't even notice.

I don't mind gift lists but I hate the "we only want money" ones.