I am worried about my DHs behaviour towards our teenage daughter

He was a keen sportsman in his youth and felt he could have been successful if he had had the backing. He has encouraged my DD to particpate in sport from a young age but puts a lot of pressure on her to succeed.

Recently he has started getting angry at her when she doesn't do as well as he thinks she could or should do. He often comments on her weight and in extreme anger has called her 'fat'. He has also started criticising her character and is prone to rages and 'flare ups'.

They argue a lot and she is beginning to suffer emotionally. She has cut her arms (although only once and for attention) and spends a lot of time at friends houses. How can I help my family?

Tell him to stop doing it.

My dad used to call me fat and I have body image/ weight issues.

I have but he says they are merely words of encouragement. He can be loving at times but they have a difficult relationship

He sounds really awful. How can he talk to his daughter like that? I think you need to tell him in no uncertain terms that it is totally unacceptable. If he doesn't stop then I don't know - is he like this in other areas too? Criticising her character and weight sounds quite abusive - if he was doing this to you people would be telling you he was an emotional abuser and you should leave him. You have to protect your daughter from this.

How do you know the cutting was for attention - can be a dangerous thing to assume IMHO. It takes quite a lot of emotional distress to truly cut and is often mistaken for attention seeking behaviour.

your DH, for example, is a twat

Call him fat and tell him it is words of encouragement! See how he bloody likes it.

Your dh is trying to relive his youth and failure through your dh and will cause her irreprable harm if he doesn't stop. And yes the cutting was for attention. The attention she wants is for someone to see what he is doing to her.

sorry but his is simply being a total bastard and there is NO excuse for that at all. id stop him in his tracks so bloody fast he'd get gravel rash. if my DH called my DD fat go ape shit. and he would be spending the night on a park bench. stand up for your dd. this makes me angry, its not encouragement - its him taking out his frustrations on a teenage girl and he should be bloody ashamed of himself and so should you be for allowing it.

the way to help your family is to tell him to shut the fuck up

who the hell does he think he is ?

fucking hell-is he right in the head?
what a twat.
is she fat? could she do with losing weight? not excusing how he's going about it but is he in a very wrong,very cack handed way trying to get her to sort out her eating habits (by potentially giving her an eating disorder)
can i add for the record 'what a fucking twat' again? thanks.