I am sorry I have to write this or the fact that you are actually reading it. The fact is I just cant cope anymore. WHat may seem over the past few months as a strong mum with everything in place it has been all but a front. Everyday of my life I fell unwanted as a person. I am a mother and I get much joy from this but I am doing them no good. I struggle to make bonds with my kids friends mums and the childern are all going against my daughter all of a sudden. I think it is beacus ewe live in a council house. The things is we are not typical council people. In fact my house is like a show home and I have spent over 20k on it.I feel what is happening to my daughter is what happended to me at school. The last year at primary and all my friends shruged me off, then you are left with one. Then you go to secondary school and that one friend goes off to. Then you are on your own. I have no idea how to help my daughter, I cant even make friends. It is not for the want of trying, I really do but people judge me so harshly when they first met me that I am left with the feeling of "I dont know what I have done wrong. They never ring me again and never keep in touch, If i try and contact them is is all false promises to go out. The thing is the people I should talk to about this about are my other half and my sister but I just cant deal with their answers. "there is nothing wrong with you, dont be silly etc etc.I wish I had the strength to overcome this pain I have inside or just a help book of what to do. What a sorry thing to ask some for help.....I cant make or keep friends!! how horrible..... How do I start off this conversation without sounding like a pathetic sad women.
It is happening again, I feel like I dont want to be here, just like I did when I was 12.....nearly 18 years on I am still in the same lonely place. If I try and tell anyone I am seen as sad and clearly desperate. I have suggested meet ups with other mums but it just does not happen, it is never right and in the end I feel embarrased for asking anymore times. I just dont want to live. I want to feel calm and not feel this pain and hav these horrible thoughts. I am a good parent and cater for their needs but if I cant show them how to make friends and keep friends how will they survive. They will end up just like me!!!!. I am 30 with 2 children 10 yrs and 1 yrs. I am at a loss. I feel incredibly lonely not only as a mother but as a person. My husband and family are great it is just that I cant make friends. I just want some one to be honest with me and give me their first impressions of me so I know what I am doing wrong. I am confident and smiley, I ask questions and interact well. I used to do sales. I have no issues with that it is getting people to like me!!?? I dont know what it is. I am not ugly or scarred or immensly overweight (not that I have a problem with any of these people) I am just saying that I dont have anything that may put this narrow minded society off. I am normal in my eyes but everyone sees me differently and I dont know how to change it without asking everyone I see what they think...and then looking like a lunitic!
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Is it me or is it them?
23 replies
Isitmeoryou · 10/08/2009 22:04
OP posts:
RumourOfAHurricane ·
10/08/2009 22:59
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