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Parenting

Does anyone else with two young ones feel shattered and not quite with it all the time?

14 replies

BiscuitStuffer · 04/08/2009 21:37

I am wondering if this is normal or if something else is going on.

I have DD 2.7 and DS 1 and I adore them both and they are both fairly easy kids I would say.

DS was a menace at night and I had horribly broken nights (every 1.5 to 3 hourly) until I pulled the plug on night feeds 4 months ago (he was 8.5 months). Since then, I suffered dreadful insomnia. Couldn't get to sleep for about 2 hours and then if I was woken (DD usually yells out a few times in the night), I couldn't get back to sleep. Oh and early starts of anything from 4:30am to 5:30am but now it's 6am.

Anyway - I found some homeopathic stuff which worked brilliantly and my sleep cycles are better so I've been having nights of about 6.5 hours long instead of 4.5 hrs BUT I feel tired, irritable and foggy headed all the time.

Is this normal for 2 small ones or do I need to see a GP?

OP posts:

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AlistairSim · 04/08/2009 21:40

I pretty much feel like that all the time too.
I have really bad insomnia too, what's the stuff you used?

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twoflakesanight · 04/08/2009 21:42

Oh my God you must be exHAUSTed! Your sleep sounds horrendous. I have two - 3.7 and 1.2 and get about 7 hrs a night and, if it makes you feel any better, spend most of my time walkking between rooms trying to remember what I was doing. I met my best friend today for coffee, without kids, and lost my thread at least 4 times.

See your GP by all means, just for a 'well-woman' check (did you know you can get those? I heard someone talking about it in a shop queue the other day), but I think just trying to get your head round the logistics of two children is PLENTY of reason for the fog and tiredness.

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AlistairSim · 04/08/2009 21:44

Sorry, that barely even made sense.

Small children are exhausting, you have to blardy well watch them all the time. You are never off-duty.

I think also, that your body has to get used to a different sleep pattern. It could just be that you are adjusting to getting a bit more sleep.

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CloudDragon · 04/08/2009 21:45

Hi biscuit

I had insomnia for years, my GP got me into relaxation technique classes (try google for stuff in your area) it has helped me so much.

6.5 hours is too little sleep for most people. Can you get to sleep earlier if they are waking you?

Also don't sleep in the day/or have big lie ins as this will make it worse. no tea/coffee after 4pm. No choclate too. Alcohol can make it worse as can make you wake up early.

It is also knackering having two that age,

nbut no harm in getting some blood tests doen as anaemia can be common after having DCs close together.

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hambo · 04/08/2009 21:46

I feel the same. A 6 month old and a 2.5 year old. I spend my entire life dealing with poo. So tired!!!

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Lostmykeys · 04/08/2009 21:49

I think this is normal. I work full time and find that I put a lot of energy into appearing to be capable at work and then being completely knackered and in a dream like state for everything else. I foreget everything from birthdays to what I have to get form the supermarket. I too suffer from insomnia, but blame this on mad 2 year old who still can;t manage a night of sleep. It does compund the problem though.
Nice to see I'm not the only one...... but have to say I am not grumbling merely symapthising....

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Lostmykeys · 04/08/2009 21:49

See I can't even spell or type

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BiscuitStuffer · 04/08/2009 22:03

This is very reassuring indeed!

I felt so well after DD and like 'me' again but I feel as if I have never quite recovered from the 2nd pregnancy. I suppose it could be something to do with being either pregnant and / or breastfeeding for over 3 years too .

I have been feeling rather pathetic but it really is good to hear thta it's not just me.

Today has been horrendous in terms of it being a very long day and DD thwoing tantrum after tantrum. I was about to go to bed at 9pm but just started to do something and now I have my 2nd wind (as often happens).

The insomnia stuff I use is called Noctura - you get it from Holland and Barrett or any chemist I think. It's the homepathic one (apparently there's a herbal one). It was recommeded to me by a pregnant friend. It does seem to work, even if it's the placebo effect - who cares if it means I can get to sleep?!

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ttalloo · 04/08/2009 22:06

It's totally normal to feel so tired, unfortunately! I have a 2.5 year old and a 10 month old, so even though they are currently sleeping well because nobody's ill or teething, and I'm therefore managing 6 to 7 hours a night, I am still beyond knackered because of all the sleep I've missed out on over the last three years. And weirdly, the more sleep I get, the more I seem to need, and the more tired I am during the day. Horrendous.

I second the suggestion that you get a check-up at the GP, though. Imagine how lovely it would be to learn that you're anaemic - a couple of injections later, you'd be feeling much perkier!

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Gateau · 05/08/2009 10:37

"6.5 hours is too little sleep for most people."
Not true. Seven hours' sleep is said to be all people need. I feel quite well slept after 6.5 hours. Everyone has different needs, of course, but they do now say eight hours - once said to be the ideal amount - is actually too much.

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hazeyjane · 05/08/2009 10:56

I have a 3.5 year old and 2.3 year old.

We haven't had a night of unbroken sleep since dd2 was born (she is not a great sleeper, usually up between 5 and 6, and dd1 has nightmares which wake her up most evenings, early nighttimes). But I think the thing that exhausts me more than this is the tantrums, whining etc during the day, I guess I deal with it badly because of lack of sleep, and then a vicious circle starts.

I had a check up at the gps recently, as I had started having dizzy spells, and panicked that I had started having an early menopause!

Clouddragon, I know i should avoid all the things you mentioned, but without chocolate, alcohol and coffee (and huge amounts of rescue remedy!) I don't know how I would cope!

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iwantitnow · 05/08/2009 18:12

The last thing you probably feel like but some exercise would make you feel alot better - go to a yoga class or dvd, jog etc... once you have DC into bed. I've got a 2.7 year old and a 5 month old that wakes 1-3 times a night and stuggle to get back to sleep once woken often. I try to do some yoga each evening and I feel alot better.

Losing sleep in the early morning 3-5ish has the worse impact on your energy levels. I feel permanently hungover. I did give up caffeine for a spell as I believe it made my DSs sleep worse, I survived but feel alot better now I am on 2 teas a day - no caffeine made me feel permanently energyless and asleep.

Can you catch up on some sleep at the weekends? Can you DP do some of the early wake up calls?

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FabBakerGirlIsBack · 05/08/2009 18:13

Ours are 8,6 and 4 and we are permanently knackered.

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BiscuitStuffer · 05/08/2009 20:17

On the exercise front, I am usually out and about pushing a double buggy laden with crap stuff for about 2-3 hours per day. I also have a physical job which I do for 15 hours a week. Ironically I managed to get almost 7 hours sleep last night AND used the car all day with very little exercise and I feel very splendid indeed!