Are you less tired now your children are older or are we just doomed??

[yesterdaywasablur]

DH was never sure if he wanted to have children, we now have 2, both under 3 (baby 6 mths).

Need I say more but life is busy, we have no family nearby and other than 2 days DC1 is in nursery a week there is no time out and even then when in nursery I have DC2 to look after. DH thinks those 2 days are a holiday for me.

DH is stressed at work and is telling me that he is stressed at home too as I keep telling him to do things! WTF!

Long story short, although he loves the kids to bits I think he resents me for having them and losing any freedom he once had and we've been fighting. The thought of having DC3 is fading very quickly and I feel so sad, but the fact is our marriage is on the verge of collapse.

Anyone else relate??

Please tells me it gets better that men do eventually realise that there is little room for selfishness with a family and will stop resenting me blah blah blah...

arrggghhhhh

[ssd]

it definately gets easier, just hang on in there

we were in your position a few years ago and now I just wonder how we managed

I find its the lack of any family support thats the hardest to cope with, a helping hand would have been wonderful

try to support each other as best you can and remember why you like each other!

all the best x

[liath]

It definitely gets better. DH and I were in a constant state of exhaustion with a toddler and a baby. Now they are aged 4 and 2 I have noticed a huge improvement even compared with last year. They play together, they sleep reasonably well at night,(well, dd does.....), I have more time to do stuff like gardening. DH and I have both started running and managed to get fit which in turn has made us feel physically much better.

I really feel as if I've started to get my life back after putting a lot of things on hold for the baby years. HTH .

[CarGirl]

I have 4 dc and now the youngest is 3.9 and off to school in September and it is so much easier than it was. I now am able to do the large Tesco shop during the day, dd will eat her packed lunch as we go around, everyone eats "normal" meals etc etc etc def have time to do stuff rather than just survive.

[EccentricaGallumbits]

Sorry.

I find i'm tireder now that then. sorry. when they were little (less than 2 yr age gap) the napped in the afternoos and went to bed at 6.30. now they are up till 9 and past that at weekends.
Althugh I'm also older. fatter. generally more unfit and busier now than then. I also work full time now rather than hanging about having fun with them.

on the plus side them being more independent, being able to amuse themselves, not having to be fed proper food at the right time of the day means that some aspects are much easier.

[Podrick]

The tiredness factor does improve hugely over the years ime.

I think it is still possible for both of you to have regular "me" time though at the moment, and also regular "couple" time without the kids...is this something you already do?

[mollyroger]

it does get easier, I promise. However, after 11 years' of parenting, I am programmed to wake up early. So even when the dc sleep in, I never can....