Why do I always lose it with my kids 1 hour before my DH finally gets home?

[philopastry]

My DH works away from home Mon - Thurs. We have DC's aged 5 and 3. It can be a long week but I try my best to be a nice mummy and most of the time I succeed...but every week without fail at about 5.30 on Thurs - when I am literally on the home leg - I lose it with the kids over nothing much. Today it was over their unbelievably messy bedroom with every toy they own on the floor but it would have been something else if it was tidy in there. It is as if I know that 'reinforcements' are arriving in an hour so it is safe to flip out (Obviously I'm not hitting them or anything just shouting, ranting and generally behaving in a way I would hate to have to watch on a laptop with supernanny sat next to me). I have just done it and realised it is always the same every week. Why do I do this? Does anyone else whose DP work away suffer from the same syndrome? Anyone got any advice on how I break this bad habit?!

[philopastry]

I also forget how to use paragraphs!

[Divineintervention]

Is this a little anxiety/excitement about DP coming home thrown in?
Can't you make Wednesday night tidy room and chores night and Thursday 4pm onwards TV and stories???

[philopastry]

MMm, I hadn't thought of that, maybe that's it. I would like the house to look nice when he gets back and it always looks like a tip. I seriously think I have the messiest kids in the world. They just leave a trail of destruction wherever they go. I vac'd the stairs this aft and literally 1/2 hour later they both trailed upstairs in their muddy wellies, aaagh!
But thanks, will give that a go next week and see if it helps.
ANyone else? Even if it just that you do this too it would make me feel less of a harridan.

[WhereTheWildThingsWere]

Oh yes, but dp doesn't work away from home, so I do it everyday, sometimes I think I am just a crappy mother.

[LilRedWG]

WTWTW - That's just what I was going to say.

[Divineintervention]

my whole day is like your hour a week!

[treedelivery]

hell I do that everyday. And also before every shower I try to have, and every meal I try to eat. Completely normal. You're actually an uber mum as you only do it once a week.

[philopastry]

thank you thank you all of you , this is what I was after! I obviously do it more than once a week WTWTW, I was just releasing info on a need to know basis
Am feeling much more calm now as DH is home, reading bed time stories to the kids while I am on here with glass of wine in my non typing hand

[Countingthegreyhairs]

A really interesting thread philopastry ...I do this but hadn't realised it before I read your op!!

1. think hours between 4 - 6 weekdays are always fairly hellish tbh. dc are often tired & ratty after school but too young to express it in a civilised manner! I also (nearly always) feel wretched around 5pm for some reason ... and it's hard juggling snacks, getting dinner, thinking of tomorrow's clothes etc when they want your attention the most ...and you still have bed/bath/story routine to come ...it's possibly a slightly embittered hang-over from when I worked pre-dd and could really relax after work !!

1. my dh works away most weeks Tues-Thurs and I am a much more relaxed, calm "in control" Mummy when he is NOT here .. and I'm much snappier and shouty when he is. I've tried to analyse why this should be (you would think reverse would be true) and I think it's a combination of my "having" to be on best behaviour and more responsible when I am in sole control + being more confident and relaxed when I am doing it "my way" as it were

1. finally, think it is probably something to do with "being able" to relax and be less "perfect" once back-up has arrived .. and relaxing in this case could mean allowing oneself to give vent to one's frustration !!

Not sure which of these theories is the correct one mind you!! Probably a combination of all three ...

[Countingthegreyhairs]

PS Enjoy the wine

I have made the mistake of giving it up for Lent

[philopastry]

Grey - Your rationale for why it is so rings so many bells at this end esp. the idea of being able to relax into being less perfect. Sorry we can not say a big 'Cheers' at this point, will have an extra large slug of wine for us both.

How many days have you got left now? You are good. Being no good at self sacrifice I have given up pigs liver for Lent, ooh it's so hard but I am determined to do it

[Countingthegreyhairs]

Now why didn't I think of that Philo? I could have given up cloudberries and elk and been in an altogether much happier state

April 12th is d-day (Easter) so a while to go but not by any means all "sacrificial" as I am hoping to shed a few pounds along the way ...

Hope next week goes OK for you. I've got used to dh's constant travelling over the years but dd finds it very difficult ...