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I have been a rubbish mum today

10 replies

CharCharGabor · 26/02/2009 16:50

and a rubbish mum every other day it seems. Woke up this morning feeling queasy. It settled through the day a bit but I still feel funny and I'm wiped out because DD was up all night. I have been irritable and haven't done much with her. We were supposed to have a group this morning but couldn't go in case I have a virus so we've been in all day apart from a brief trip to the shop.

On top of this, DD doesn't seem to like me much anymore. If she falls over she wants Daddy, she follows him everywhere and he can do no wrong. Whereas she screams at me, hits me and throws things. Nothing I do is good enough. For a little treat before I put on a playlist I made for her on Youtube with a few clips from her favourite programmes. Nope, every time one came on she wanted the other one and vice versa. I ended up slamming the laptop shut and shutting myself in the garden for a few minutes (which was pointless as she just screamed through the door.)

I've got no patience and I'm becoming too much like my mother, so tbh I'm not surprised she wants DP. But I have fed her, soothed her, comforted her etc. for 18 months, day and night. The other day she fell over and I picked her up, she screamed for Daddy. Normally she'd want me. I feel useless.

I don't know what the point of this is. A rant-ish thing, I think. Although if anyone could tell me what to make her for tea that doesn't involve pasta and is quick, it'd be much appreciated.

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superfrenchie1 · 26/02/2009 16:58

oh i've been there... often... the kids always seem to want daddy...

you need to be doing the things you love doing, so you'll be happy and your DD will see you happy.

organise time away from your DD - i didn't do that enough in the first two years. it's so so valuable.

since i went back to work i've been happier and had better relationships with dd and ds, i think partly because i have time to myself where i don't have to be responsible for small children, and that makes me really look forward to seeing them.

Don't be hard on yourself - just make sure you're doing things that make you happy. you can definitely turn the corner and start having fun with your DD again. everyone feels like this sometimes!

my dcs are having pizza and salad tonight!

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CharCharGabor · 26/02/2009 17:05

Thanks superfrenchie. I've been trying to do some things for myself when I can find the time. In the evenings though I just want to flop on the couch and read or something. I had been quite happy lately but I'm really tired and funny-feeling today. She's had two tantrums since I posted.

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Mutt · 26/02/2009 17:25

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CharCharGabor · 26/02/2009 17:30

Ta Mutt, you speak the truth. It's hard when you just want to do the best for them. After a spectacular tantrum before we have decided to write today off and start again, I feel better already and she has chilled out a bit. Think she's feeling a bit under the weather too. Beans and toast are cooling right now

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Mutt · 26/02/2009 17:35

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georgiemum · 26/02/2009 17:36

Mums are there to be yelled at, do the dirty work and pick up the pieces.

Today I have been yelled at, insulted and swore at (not all by the little one either). I don't have a mum to cry to and can't talk to me sister about it.

I am going to turn super-femenist and tell the lot of them to bu off.

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Chaotica · 26/02/2009 18:26

Some unMN sympathy from me and LOL at the superfeminist plan. My mum was one and I lived to tell the tale. I often sympathise with her these days (have DCs 2.9 and 17m so plenty tantrums here).

I do find the tantrums are much worse when illness strikes...

And you're not a rubbish mum, btw.

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helsbels4 · 26/02/2009 18:37

Mutt is right - rubbish mums don't care. You do, so you're not a rubbish mum. It's bloody hard trying to do the right thing all the time and my dd often says she just wants daddy (much to my annoyance!) You're tired, she's still little and tomorrow is another day. Get her to bed nice and early and have a glass of wine or whatever rocks your boat . Hope tomorrow is a better day

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flyingmum · 26/02/2009 18:50

You sound like an uber mum to me. Toddlers are knackering. I spent most of the toddler years either screaming or crying! They all go through the 'I want Daddy thing' just ride it through - when she is with him it will be 'I want mummy'. She's just finding her feet in life and realising she has a bit of power over people.

Dump her on Daddy this weekend and GO OUT BY YOURSELF and do something for YOU - not Tesco. You will feel better. They will also realise that you are not there at their beck and call all day every day.

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CharCharGabor · 26/02/2009 20:15

Thanks for all your lovely messages We actually had quite a nice relaxed time once we'd written off today and started again. We were much calmer and enjoyed some time together. She is fast asleep now and hopefully tonight will go better than last night. lol at super feminist too, know the feeling! Tomorrow I think I'll plan a bit of stuff, then we get less bored and ratty. I have a friend visiting tomorrow too which will be nice. Thanks again, you've all made me feel a lot better.