oh bloody bloody bloody bloody bloody bloody bloody hell. ive become a mum who occasionally smacks her children.

[NappiesGaloriaInExcelsis]

and i dont believe in violence.
it is sickening to me that i might hurt my children.
i think smacking teaches violence rather than whatever message you think youre teaching.
oh bloody hell.

[lisad123]

well you know now so hopefully you can stop yourself before it happens next time. dont be so hard on yourself though, least you know its wrong.

[NappiesGaloriaInExcelsis]

and having started this thread, i am buggering off to drink a glass of wine and watch telly and do lots of mental head slapping for my (occasional)animal response to naughtiness.
ironically, i smacked him because he hurt his brother a few times and wouldnt listen to me telling him not to.
what an idiot thing to do.

OH WELL

off to watch telly and get over it. not ignoring any responses, just not seeing them.

[thexmasstockingmonsterofdoom]

Ok i dont comfess this much as I am mortified, I smacked dd1 several times when dd2 was tiny and I had pnd and I couldnt cipe iwth her, I promised her I would never do it again and so far I havent. you dont have to carry on down that path, take control and turn it around.

[NappiesGaloriaInExcelsis]

sally and lisa, i love you both. thanks for answering. it was ds1, he has forgiven me, it is not that bad... i am being a drama queeen, but am glad i am unhapopy with myself. hopefully it means i wont do it again.

[Barking]

Nappies, the very fact that you've posted this means you want to change how you react. Please don't be hard on yourself, you are doing your best.

I don't know how old your dc's are - have you heard of 'How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk' by Faber Mazlish. Their webiste is here Don't be afraid of their photographs, they are very wise, though it feels like learning a new language at first it does work. Lots of creative thinking to change the situation around, lots of rationalising.

Can you give an example of what happened recently when you ended up smacking?

[NappiesGaloriaInExcelsis]

i love you too socky.
how nice to get such lovely people answer at such a poo-y time

[thexmasstockingmonsterofdoom]

enjoy your wine and start again tommorow.

[abbierhodes]

I smack sometimes, and I don't see the harm. I don't think that parents who use a sharp tap for discipline can be compared to those who abuse their children by beating them.
However, I know this view will not be popular, so I'm leaving this thread now.

[bleakmidwinter]

Me too - I hate that I do it occasionally and have lots of strategies for not doing which work ...... most of the time. Then occasionally when DC is really pushing buttons by hitting younger sibling, I lose it. Totally bonkers I know. There is nothing more illogical than telling a child not to hit by errr, hitting them. I agree with other comments on here. You know it's wrong, you are trying to resolve it. Smacking was not only normal amongst my parents and their peers but pretty much mandatory (spare the rod and all that! ). It takes a lot to wipe that out in one generation.

Cheers btw

[NappiesGaloriaInExcelsis]

ds1 calls the how to talk book my 'homework' and tells me i need to do more of it when i get shouty
i told him as i left him just now that i was off to do some homework and he kissed my hand he was holding in the dark.
god i am so lucky, how could i smack such an angel

[NappiesGaloriaInExcelsis]

when theyre teenagers sal, im off to live with you if you dont mind !

[thexmasstockingmonsterofdoom]

because they turn from angels to the exact opposite in 30 seconds and know exactly which buttons to press.

[NappiesGaloriaInExcelsis]

oh yeah, thats it

[noiamnot]

there will most likely be someone along who will threaten to call ss now.

listen. you're human.

[NappiesGaloriaInExcelsis]

night lovely folks, im off to watch shit telly and go to bed x

[Barking]

Maybe tell the older one what he can do rather than what he can't. Were they rough playing and it got out of hand? Maybe tell him his younger brother likes tickles not punches and then demonstrate on both of them what you mean and firmly reminding him that is the kind of playing everyone likes.
If overtired I plonk mine in a bath which usually unwinds them - lots of lavender oil even though I read on here it turns boys into girls!

[SparkyFartDust]

Nappies I've done it in the past and it upset me also.

I told my DD that I was wrong to have smacked her. I told her that I wouldn't smack her again and I haven't.

I smacked her when I was very tired and felt very powerless. It did nothing but cause her shock and hurt (I didn't smack hard- but the act was shocking). It made me feel miserable and less confident in my parenting ability.

Sally's advice to count to 10 is worth carrying with you- as well as creating physical distance between you and children when things get heated and/ or if your LO's behaviour is tricky.

You don't want to hit- so step back and reflect how you might handle it differently next time.

[lil]

There's the land of ideal parenting - and then there's the real world Nappies! Go say sorry you'll feel better!

[NappiesGaloriaInExcelsis]

yes noi, id better go before they come and wind me up, not that i can smack them through the internet [sick humour]

night all !

[lil]

oops you did.