How do I prepare 3 year old for taking on first ever nanny?

[desperatelyseekingsleep]

DSs are 3 and nearly 1. I'm going back to work part time soon and have hired a nanny to look after them. Ds1 used to go to a childminder for a while when he was 1, but probably doesn't remember that now. So how do i go about preparing him for that fact that someone else is going to be looking after him for a couple of days a week? He's a real mummy's boy (in fact they both are) and quite emotional and has a real temper on him. We don't have any family nearby, so it's been me and dh all the way up to now (although he does go to nursery a couple of mornings a week). Should I start talking to him about it now, or will that just make him feel unnecessarily worried? I'm aware that I'm probably feeling a lot more anxious about it than he will

[Romy7]

has he met the nanny? we always got them to come and spend an hour or two a couple of times before the 'real' start date so they could get used to each other. v matter of fact - mummy has to go to work so x will be looking after you until i get home. the more matter of fact you are about it, the easier he will accept it - no emotional 'i'm such a terrible mother leaving my baby' stuff - you can say 'like you used to go to y's' even if he doesn't really remember it will still normalise the situation. as it's just part time, it'll be easier, becasue you can say, mummy works on mondays and wednesdays (or whatever) so, x will look after you, and i will look after you on tuesdays etcetc.
if you play down the emotional side and treat it as quite normal, he won't have any reason to kick off or get upset. and no 'anxious' allowed - or you'll have to prise him off your skirt and fix your make-up in the car.
good luck!

[springerspaniel]

Keep talking about it in a jolly way.

My 3 year old was quite upset the first two times I told him the list of possible people who might come and look after him whilst I was in hospital (due with number 2 tomorrow) but now he seems excited when I talk about it - especially if it is his fun uncle!

[desperatelyseekingsleep]

I'd forgotten I'd written this message as we've became bogged down with huge sleep issues with DS2, but this is all useful advice, so thanks. He has met the nanny very briefly when she came to be interviewed, but I don't think he really took much notice. My worry is that he takes a LONG time to really trust and like people, but I suppose you're both right, if I make it jolly and matter of fact, it will make it easier on him. How much in advance should I start talking about it thought - the nanny starts in August, so should I start now?

[snickersnack]

Don't spend too long talking about it in advance - 3 is quite small and a week feels like a lifetime. I'd casually mention it in passing then sit down just before she starts and talk it through.

Do you know anyone else who employs a nanny? Would be good to take the children and show them how much fun can be had. Try leaving him with dh a bit and going out at weekends to get him used to you not being around. And when she starts, a couple of days handover is more than enough, then get out of the house and let her get on with it. I assumed I'd be around for 2 weeks - she laughed in my face and packed me off to the cinema!

If it helps, my dd got very wound up in advance, and the first week was a bit tricky but 5 months in she adores the nanny and is delighted when she arrives in the morning.

[desperatelyseekingsleep]

Thanks Snickersnack, I'm expecting the first few weeks to be tough, especially as DS2 is having such awful sleep and separation anxiety issues, but I'm hoping they'll come to enjoy the nanny in time.