Those with 2 under 18 months, how hard is it?

[pgandconfused]

Just found out I am pregnant with DC3, total shock. Have DD1, 6 in October, DD2, 9 months and think I am around 6 weeks pg with DC3. Am very confused as to what we want, tbh am considering a termination (please do not flame me) as I don't think we could cope, financially we are in a bad place atm and although I am very good with my children, a third would make me deranged.

Obviously this is something that DH and I have to get our heads around but I don't know anyone in RL with such a small gap between 2 of their DC so would appreciate a bit of honest advice about what to expect.

[laurz75]

Well, we had 20 months between our ds and dd. The hardest thing was the insane jealousy that our ds had and he definitely made it clear!!
Once we'd got through the first few weeks, it was fine. Dd very chilled and independent (now 15 months) and ds (now 2.11) absolutely adores her. She is getting her own back on him too .
I found it easy to adjust to lack of sleep, nappies, etc. because it had never really stopped from ds!
I also made sure I was incredibly organised (packed bags, put out ALL clothes, breakfast stuff etc., took any offers of help!) and didn't beat myself up about giving dd a dummy when we were desperate!!!
Honestly, you know what is best for you and your family. We were lucky in that I was able to give up work for 14months to be with our dc. I have treasured that time.
Good luck whatever you decide.

[CarGirl]

I had a 14 month gap between my middle two. I have a 5.5 age gap between the eldest and 2 years between the youngest. The 14 month gap was by far the easiest, no jealousy after 3 days (and that was only if Daddy held the newborn), didn't carry on with a whirlwind life just plodded on doing baby things. They played together lovely from a young age.

So I had similar to what you would have with an older one too - school run keeps you sane, get a double pushchair and teach baby to sleep in pushchair!

[Twelvelegs]

I had 14 months between ds1 + 2 and there was no jealousy, I think he was too young to notice a big change or remember what it was like before. I loved having such a close gap. I can't think of any negatives until one is three (which is full on no matter how many or what the gap)years. They get on so well now 5 + 6 and refuse to have seperate rooms. You don't leave baby stage and so you forget that you carry a nappy bag and always have a pushchair and that life's not like that!! And everyone is impressed that you leave your house, so encouragement every corner!! Lots of 'what's the age gap?' 'Oh aren't you brave?' 'wow' comments.
Congratulations, it's great news!!
I have dc1 14 months dc2 38 months dc3 26 months dc4, I think this gap will be the worst!!

[pgandconfused]

Thanks laurz75, sounds like you have it all sussed!

I can't believe that within 1 month of finishing BF DD2, I am pg again. If I carry on with this pg, that will mean 3 solid years of being pg and bfeeding!

My biggest worry is DD1 is incredibly jealous of DD2 and doesn't give her the time of day - to have to deal with this again would be too much. Life is a constant battle when they are together as DD2 is starting to want to invade DD1's space more and more.

[mom2ava]

there is 20 month difference between DS and DD.

It's hard, but I am told that it does get easier.

What I find difficult is that I don't feel I am giving either proper attention. You are constrained by the fact that one moves quickly and the other doesn't, so trips outside the home have to be planned accordingly (child friendly places only!). The amount of nappy changes is unreal at times and sometimes they are in meltdown at the same time which would test the patience of a saint.

I used to be hyper organized, but have learned to prioritize and ask for help!

But DD adores DS and vice versa. His whole face lights up when he sees her, and you just know they are going to be such great friends.

Are your financial constraints temporary? Would additional domestic help make a difference? In any case, you have time to reflect and decide as you're only 6 weeks.

Best of luck!!!