A woman is facing a one year prison sentence for slapping her toddler in public -cited: Abuse of a Defenceless

[QuintessentialShadows]

It was in the paper today (I am in Norway)
A woman is going to court facing a one year prison sentence for abusing a defencless. Witnesses have described how she was shouting at the child, slappig his bottom, knocking him in the back, and slapping his face before plonking him hard down in the pushchair.

For sure, it must have been a pretty horrid sight for the police to be called, and for so many to come foreward as witnesses.

Are they too hard on her?
Should they offer her councelling or parenting classes rather than a year in prison?

[Tortington]

i think they should flog her with wet kippers

[FAQ]

well I opened the thread planning to say they were too hard.....thinking it was a slap on the bottom, but slapping his bottom, knocking him in the back and slapping his face sounds like abuse to me.

And before it gets lost in the smacking/no smacking debate - I'm an occasional smacker who believes strongly that there is a difference between the odd smack, and things ilke what you've described.......

[QuintessentialShadows]

That is what I thought too Faq, I guess if honest, most of us have given our children the odd slap, and know the fealing of total exasperation well, but to continue with all that?

Custardo, kippers dont exactly grow on trees here....

[ArriettyClock]

It sounds like a rather prolonged incident, rather than a single slap.
I think a prison sentence would be disastrous (assuming this is a one-off incident, and the child is not under constant threat).
Surely a parenting course would be of more use to the whole family?
For the child to lose its' mother to prison for a year would be very sad.

[fairyfly]

I don't understand why prison is the answer if i am honest.

Why was she at that level of anger, does she lose it often?

I am only asking that because people must do that behind doors quite a lot and not get caught so why was she loosing it in public.

[QuintessentialShadows]

I wonder if it is more to it than is reported in the paper. It also said they are calling forth character witnesses. It may be a case where the abuse happens on a larger scale?

[Feelingbetterslowly]

Oh golly that is scary! I have smacked my dd on the bottom (five times in four years), but would never slap her face or bash her in the back. Have plonked her in the pushchair before too, but I think most mums have done that. However, every time I have smacked her it has been because I have totally exhausted and entirely lost control of my emotions, so can see where the abuse of a defenseless comes from-I should never have done it-other punishments do work as long as you keep a grip on yourself, which I have finally learnt how to do.

I think parenting classes and councelling would have been a much better option, and also maybe a health visitor or something visiting daily and that she can get hold of if things get too much for her so that the toddler isn't in danger until she gets better? There is obviously something wrong with her emtionally-no one wants to do that to their own child.

[LittleBella]

The behaviour is abusive.

But whether a prison sentence for his mother is in the best interests of the child, is debatable.

It would depend on whether this is a one off or part of a pattern of abuse.

[QuintessentialShadows]

Thing is, we dont know that. But as a one off? Parenting classes definitely. If it is ongoing? Well...

I guess the character witnesses can either reassure that this is out of character totally, or provide evidence that this is ongoing.

In either case, I hope this is something that at the end of the day will help the child, and not just a SS power trip.

[fairyfly]

Put it this way if i hit my child in public with witnesses i doubt i would go to prison. Unless i was a complete twat in court. i think i would get social workers and allsorts of other things happening.

[Feelingbetterslowly]

That's the thing-I think a lot of parents would not hit their children in public simply because they were in public-you tend to ignore bad behaviour or drag them along by their arm, looking in the opposite direction to your child and hissing at them out of the corner of your mouth so that noone can hear you telling them off! I think there is a public/private divide to disciplinary behaviour somehow, and it is perceived that you are not as in control of your emotions if you smack in public, or are not as fit a mum, although you could do it 100 times at home and noone would know. Very tricky area.

[LynetteScavo]

I don't think it's about wheather they are being to hard on her, it's about whether they are being to hard on the child, taking his/her mother away from them. I presume the child's not currently in her care.

[soapbox]

Let's try looking at this a different way!

'I was looking outside the window tonight and the bloke next door absolutely lost it with his wife. He was yelling at her then slapped her on her arse, then knocked her in the back, slapped her face and then rammed her hard onto her backside - he has been arrested and police are talking about a prison sentence. Are they being too hard on him? Should they offer him some counseling rather than a prison sentence?'

[Feelingbetterslowly]

Yeah, ok soapbox, that does help put it into perspective actually.

[fairyfly]

Soapbox, he just wouldn't go to prison for a year for it, they need to get history.

[soapbox]

FF - there might also be history in this case - we just don't know.

[fairyfly]

I know

[LittleBella]

Also a man who hits a woman isn't the woman's mother. Being an adult and having some bloke sent to prison who has hit you, simply doesn't have the same long-term psychological/ emotional impact that being a very young child and losing your mother for a year does.

Any approach to addressing this abusive behaviour should address the long term needs of the child and the question is whether a prison sentence for his mother is the best way to do that. It may be, but it may not, without more details of the case we simply don't know.

[QuintessentialShadows]

I dont have any more information than that, it was just a small article in the newspaper. But I was very surprised to see a prison sentence suggested for this mum.

As with DV, the man gets a chance to sort himself out before he goes to priosn. You would think that councelling, parentcraft classes or some other kind of support would be more appropriate than taking mum away and to prison. A frassled out of control mum is usually in need of support, not prison, but again it comes down to not knowing all the facts.

[eenybeeny]

A very small minority of Mothers are cruel and sadistic and unloving. Although we cant possibly know if this woman is - maybe the police etc know something we dont know? I dont know. But there are definitely cases where prison is appropriate for parents!

[oneplusone]

I have never smacked either of my 2 DC's and don't intend to. Maybe I'm extremely lucky to have 2 pretty well behaved kids, but I know I could not nor would not ever use any sort of violence against my children. (Perhaps i feel very strongly about this as i was hit by my dad as a child )

[Squack]

smacking is one thing

slapping the face is a completely different matter. Severe damage can be caused by slapping the face.

It's considered so dangerous even people in the world of BDSM don't hit across the face, why anyone would do that to a child is beyond me

She deserves what she gets.

[geekymummy]

Even my elderly mum who is very pro smacking believes that it's wrong to slap on the face or head!