Even though you dont slap, are there occasions when you want to?

[ALMummy]

To be quite clear I have never slapped my DC. I was physically punished as a child and I always swore I would never be violent in any way to my children.

I only ask because DS has been playing up mightily just before bed for the past couple of nights - running around, refusing to go to bed and generally being an all round nightmare. It takes about half an hour to negotiate him into bed with various threats of withdrawal of tv, toys etc and just occasionally I have thought a slap would put an end to this sharpish - I never would but I can sometimes see why people might be tempted.

[hecate]

there have been times when I could cheerfully have throttled the pair of them.

[controlfreakyagain]

often. but i havent..... yet.

[donbean]

Well i have to admit that yes, i have to check myself and stop dead in my tracks when the thought enters my head.
I too was hit as a child and so it seemed in my head to be the norm as a child.

Im not so sure about it stopping behaviour shaprish tho, i think it would make me feel like shit for doing it and just looking into the childs eyes after hitting them.....nah, negotiate then rant to any one that will listen to let off steam!!!!

[snowleopard]

Yes - I'm very anti-smacking and never have either, but sometimes I get a definite urge. And I was hit as a child too - and I suspect it's not a coincidence. Somewhere deep in my brain it's been programmed in as something that happens in those situations, IYSWIM. So I hope I will manage never to do it, in an attempt to break the cycle - ie so that DS doesn't grow up with that association.

[alarkaspree]

You know, I was thinking about posting something along these lines the other day. I would say it crosses my mind to want to smack one or other of my kids most days, and I wonder if this is normal. It must be, surely? Toddlers can be really annoying. Mine are not extra-specially challenging either.

I don't hit them though because I am a master of self-control, and know it is Not Helpful.

Almost always.

[onlyjoking9329]

no i have never slapped them, thou i have left the room a few times and counted to a million

[notnowbernard]

I've never slapped and I can honestly say I've never felt an urge to, ever

I wish I could say the same for shouting, though... I honestly thought I wouldn't be a parent who'd shout

[ALMummy]

I think that when you have been hit as a child yourself it is always the elephant in the room, something that could concievably be done as opposed to someone who was never hit as a child. It probably wouldnt even enter their head that slapping was a possibility. Just another thing to resent my parents for I suppose - for introducing me over and over again to the concept of violence towards children in the name of discipline.

[ComeOVeneer]

Same scenario here too. Ds brings me close with his destructive tendencies, think wall graffiti, dvd machine/speakers destroyed, drives me mad, but I never do.

[onepieceoflollipop]

Oh I often feel like it when dd1 is being exceptionally challenging - she is 4. My dad hit us as he was very bad tempered and he used to lash out in the name of discipline.

I would not smack for many many reasons. One of the reasons is that I feel that once I start I would end up like my dad; hitting in temper.

[onepieceoflollipop]

spooky x-post ALMummy, you even used the same phrase.

[Bluebutterfly]

same as alarkaspree. Don't hit ds ever, but that doesn't mean that I haven't wanted to. (Same goes for dh actually )

[WanderingTrolley]

lol at leaving the room and counting to a million

I'm not a slapper but I have very loudly thought, And when you are sitting on the stair, thinking about What You Did, I shall have my head in the frig, and I will be eating all the rice krispie cake until such time as I calm down or it's finished, whichever is sooner.

[CaptainKarvol]

yes, I come that close, generally when I am exhausted. And I was never, ever hit as a child so I think for me it is innate, to do with frustration and anger thresholds.

[FrannyandZooey]

I can honestly say no, not so far, but I have been wildly angry with ds and have said mean things and shouted and felt out of control and unhappy about my behaviour afterwards. Slapping has never entered my head at the time, though

I was never hit as a child, not once
I wonder if that does make the difference?

[cory]

Oh, certainly. And days when I've wanted to punch my boss and throw a frying pan at dh and throttle my mother. We all have these little urges.

I suppose because I was never slapped myself and grew up in a completely non-viokent environment, I feel fairly safe with these sudden impulses; I don't see them as a risk of something that might actually happen.

[Lubyloo]

I've never smacked even though my parents smacked me. I will never smack my daughter (2.5) but have felt the urge and had to go away and count to 10

[notnowbernard]

I was smacked as a child, by my Mum

I've never smacked. I don't think that's because I was smacked... I mean, I don't have any 'hang-ups' in adulthood re this (as far as I know!) Have a really good relationship with my Mum etc

It's just something I've never considered, or felt like doing, even if pushed to the limit

Like Franny, though, I've had that horrible feeling of being out of control and it all going tits-up through the shouting and losing of temper

[ALMummy]

Oh I have lost it, screamed and shouted, not saying mean things though just lots of "How dare you" and I have called them naughty and hated myself afterwards but I think the difference is that my kids dont look at me in fear of me attacking them. With my Mum I would do anything to stop her from losing her temper because I knew she would hurt me even if it was nothing to do with me. They might not like the shouting but they are dont fear for their physical safety, ever and I think that makes all the difference.

[chunkychips]

I smacked ds, he was so surprised and I was shocked at how bad it made me feel. Haven't smacked since and actually it doesn't enter my mind most of the time, I just do a lot of shouting instead. He isn't that bad anyway most of the time, but has his moments. I was smacked rarely and was never dead against it in theory, but the reality is not nice.

[UniS]

yes. I think many people do, most of us however have enough self control not to do it or any of the other things we breifly consider but don't do like screaming obsenities.
I will admit to having slapped a chap I worked with tho. he was being rude and a swift slap accross the chops stoped him in his tracks. Still get on well with him now.

[JingleyJen]

I have smacked and it is always because the situation is out of control and I have not handled the situation well.
It doesn't happen often (maybe 3 times in the last 4 years) but each time it has happened it has made me realise that he has developed past the last set of sanctions we used and they need changing..

[tigana]

I don't smack or slap, I don't want to...but I have... only 2 or 3 times...at it has been when I am very tired, ds has been very naughty and I reach the end of my tether. I feel absolutely awful about it within milliseconds. They have never ever been hard, more like the little 'playful' type things you give to dh/dp when he makes an awful joke or something...a gentle "cuff" rather than hitting ( am I making any sense?)
It doesn't "work" anyway as ds just tells me off! " No hittin' mummy" and carries on being naughty...

[motherinferior]

Yes. Massively frequently. I have a very short temper.

That's one principal reason I don't do it. There is absolutely no way I could guarantee I only hit my children 'for good reasons'.

[pruners]

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