My DD is seriously going to drive me to drink or have a bloody break down...

[ScoobyDoo]

I know i moan about dd alot & in smoe ways i feel bad but i just can't help it.

I am really, really struggling with her, i just want to leave, i want to be out of the house away from her on my own.

I know she is only 2 & probably being a normal 2 year old but she still does not sleep through the night she was up 4 times last night between the times of 12.30 & 4.30am.

She is a miserable, hard work stubburn child in the day, i can't go anywhere with her, she demands my attention, she screams, kicks, swings herself back & forth in her pushchair, everyone stares at me & just thinks i am a shit mum probably

I don't even like taking her to the school to take ds & pick him up & if my mum will sit with her i always leave her.

I feel utterly drained, up most of the night, she is being a miserable little sod today, been in my fridge while i was changing the bed & she has thrown egg's all over my kitchen floor along with washing powder, i could have cried when i saw it.

she knows it's wrong she hid under the table.

Even dp said he is fed up of her crying & screaming, i am not joking she is doing it ALL the time, if she does not get her own way, is tired, feels like throwing herself on the floor, anything & everything she just crys, she goes to bed crying & i get woken up to crying/screaming through the night & first thing in the morning, she is a misery to be around.

I am not cut out for this crap & i want to leave, in fact i want to leave now!

Is this my life forever? i have no life because of her

[pirategirl]

oh blimey scoobydoo, this sounds very hard. I had similar with my dd, re the sleep, but can't imagine how you cope with the tantrums, and general upset.

I know people will say is there anyhting upsettingher, and ok, some kids are just like this at this age, but I wonder what you could do.

You all seem very unhappy. I am just wondering if there was anything that that Jo nanny woman would say, cos she often sees thru certain behaviours. Like time spent, what you do in your time togather, all that.

feel for you i really do.

[doodypud]

hi just wanted to respond to your post, i think they all go through this at some stage you feel that can never do right for doing wrong, our DD had phases like this when she was about the same age, and it was really easy to battle with her all day, it did make it easier when we twigged that not reacting to most of her behaviour and did not provide an audience did help sometimes,and we also did the controled crying in the night, it took probably 3 (horrible) nights to conquer, but it is jsut a phase!!! promise!!

[fondant4000]

Its easy to work yourself into a state with even a little sleep deprivation - that's why they use it to torture people!

My dd1 was a poor sleeper (esp between 2-3.5 yrs old), and I used to get pretty unreasonable and grumpy. It only made her more unhappy and behaviour worse. You have to accept that your behaviour affects her behaviour. (She is not making you like this, more likely she is reflecting the feelings she is receiving from you).

I tried not to resent her for waking me up and just accept that is was one of those nights. Just because we get up 1 night, 2 nights, 3 nights doesn't mean it will be like this forever.

If your ds was a good sleeper, you're probably finding it even harder to cope with or understand.

I know it's hard, but I found my dd needed even more cuddles and hugs when she was like this. If she woke in the night and I was nice and hugged her, she was less likely to be anxious about the next night and would sleep better. If I got cross, felt fed up 'poor me' etc., she was too young to understand and I was just slowly turning her into a nervous and miserable child.

Feel for you

[Ledodgy]

I feel your pain ds also 2 is being awful atm. Today I have removed the fireguard because he keeps banging it against the wall which scratches the floor an makes a hell of a noise, I have removed a huge bin bag full of toys from the living room these are all the toys he's thrown onto the floor this morning in a mood. I realise his behaviour is alot to do with the birth of his 4 week old brother but God it's really trying. I'm also sleep deprived but due to the baby rather than ds1 and have had to leave te room many times today because if i'd have stayed I would have smacked him.

He also hits, punches and pinches when something pisses him off or when i'm feeding the baby he really is uncontrollable atm I never had this with dd so i'm tearing my hair out with you.

[ScoobyDoo]

My ds was a good sleeper & that is why i am finding it hard, not only this though it's being going on for month's now, haveing broken sleep & then having to get on with your day is hard, it's ok for a few days then it catches up on you.

I am not angry with her when she wakes in the night, i hardly speak to her, i just go in her room & say shhh, stroke her hair & put her music on, she then goes off sometimes.

I do however feel quite short tempered in the day & i am sure she is reflecting of me, i am trying to do the best i can but with trying to do all day to day things, pack a house, get ready to move, sort bill's, sell a car, buy a car & about a million other jobs i am struggling.

I know i have to just get on with it but today i am stuglling yes again.

[ScoobyDoo]

Ledody yes dd hits, pinches, pull's hair, the new thing at the moment is if she does not get her own way, she runs up to you, clinches her fists & screams with all her might till she is bright red in the face.

She seems very frustrated, she has to learn she can't get her own way ALL the time though, not so sure she ever will learn.

[Bella23]

My personal opinion is that you need to sort out her sleep at night. I think this is the reason you are both grumpy.
I find broken sleep very hard to deal with and after a while it can really send me round the twist.
Do you think you would be able to embark on some sort of sleep training? I know its not very pc these days but I think you can cope with anything once you've had a full night's sleep.

[doodypud]

hi scooby, my DD is nearly 3 now,when she was 2 to 2.5 i found that when she was just beginning to talk, she was getting very frustrated if she was not able to make herself understood, as time went on and her language was getting better day by day she has calmed down alot, if things are getting really horrible i try and play a game "where has DD's smile gone??) which most of the time relaxes her and we find the smile back on her face!!! ofcourse there are times where there is no way i can distract her out of a paddy!!! feel for you

[fondant4000]

My dd was a poor sleeper at this age, because I think she started to have nightmares and getting scared of the dark.

I put some fairy lights in her room and (eventually) it helped. You're just not you when you're sleep-deprived.

I didn't realise until I had dd2 - who is a great sleeper. I'm like a different mum, becaus I'm getting sleep.

DD1 is nearly 5 now and has been sleeping well since she was 3.5 (though still prone to bad dreams). It does get better - for you and her!

[ScoobyDoo]

Thanks fondant so there is hope yet

About the bad dreams i think dd has them, she can just do an almighty scream in the middle of the night, it's not a cry it's a proper scream, i go in to see her & she is asleep! very strange. Sometimes she just wakes up screaming & i have always wondered about bad dreams.

Suppose i will just have to put up & shut up for the time being, i put her for a nap when i started this thread this afternoon, left her for 40 mins then got her up & gace her a nice bath & hair wash, she was in a better mood.

We will see what tonight brings...