Does anyone else have childless familyfriends

[bigboydiditandranaway]

My sister and BIL always seem to make remarks over how i'm bringing ds up. They seem to think because they have a few friends that have children and nieces and nephews that they know all about bringing up children.

My sister last time she visited said loudly to my mum we wouldn't have done that when we were younger - ds came over to me for a cuddle holding a beaker(no leak variety)then discussed that fact that didn't leak as if i wasn't there.

S & BIL don't want children but seem to think they have the right to make comments on most things i do. I generally ignore them or have made comments back. What do you do?

[DrNortherner]

Ignore and rise above.

Would yuo take travel advice about France from someone who had never been to France?

[fireflyfairy2]

My bro & SIL don't have children yet. She keeps telling me about her best friend who locks her child in the kitchen with a gate & makes them watch tv... whilst she has a cup of tea....

I think there's more to that story somehow!

[pyjamagirl]

I get this all the time from my sister who is childless but trying for a bbay she thinks she is superior over everyone else and is always commenting on how my children behave and how they should be punished .

My dp just starts asking her if she has been overdosing on supernany again

Funny thing is when she does have one of them she soon comes back with them lol moaning how tired she is!!

The most thing she ever said was the day I had my dd she looked after 2 dc overnight and when she dropped them off she said

"You will not believe the night I've had!!!!!!"

Even her dh told her to shut it

I just can't wait till she has her own I am going to sit back and enjoy the ride.

She also thinks I sit at home and do nothing all day too

[lilolilmanchester]

Try to ignore, tho it's hard. My DB used to make comments about how we were doing it all wrong. Then he and SIL had their own kids who are less than perfect (ie normal). I don't need to say anything, just smile smugly whenever they do anything wrong. Shame yours don't want kids of their own.

[colditz]

I have a 'friend' who told me all about her cousin, whose baby is, "like, 13 months, and like, still not walking! She should take her to the doctor, it's just not normal!"

I did tell her it was perfectly normal for a child not to be walking at any age up to 2, and the it didn't have anything to do with the mother not 'helping her'. I pointed out that if she took the baby to the doctor she would be laughed out of the room (it's the cousin's 4th baby)

Idiot.

Some people are just plain ignorant.

[Acinonyx]

Oh tons of family and friends. It's worse than enduring toddler tantrums - ignore, ignore.

[yurt1]

I think fio's right- it's just certain people. Only one childless friend has been like this (it was very dull I used to switch off) - others have been absolutely great.

[yurt1]

of course if your sister and BIL ever have children then their way will become the only way. That'll probably be worse!

[Countingthegreyhairs]

In my experience it's always people without children who hold the strongest views on how they should be brought up

[cornsilk]

'I was a wonderful parent before I had children. I was an expert on why everyone else was having problems with theirs. Then I had three of my own.'
From Part 1 of 'How to talk so kids will listen.'
Leave it open at that page!

[citylover]

Met one before Christmas who was advising me to work part time with the idea that it would benefit DCs.

She works part time out of choice without DCs so obviously has a thing about it. I think she fantasises about being a domestic goddess. OK that's fine but would never think of advising her to work full time based on her personal circumstances.

Another friend who visited over Christmas is very matronly like and quite old fashioned in many ways. In her favour she did have to look after her sister alot as there is a big age difference between them so is not speaking from total ignorance.

But she was advising me to make batch meals for the freezer after I made a throwaway comment about thinking of ideas for food (as far as I am aware she never cooks as she works very long hours). She always tells my youngest DS (6) that he should get his hair cut - he has longish curly hair - the other DS has a no 4 spiky look so i am not averse to a hair cut.

She also commented upon how her nieces sat at the table for every meal went to bed early every night. Infering I should be doing the same.

Maybe I always sound as if I need help as I do tend to get unsolicited advice quite alot most of the time I am just making small talk. But its just not in my nature to go around saying 'if I were you I would do it like this/that'. And I am no shrinking violet btw.

I find all that a bit patronising tbh. Oooh just remember my DB, also childless, who called some time ago to give me advice and guidance on the new car seat legislation. WTF !! Had I measured the DCs etc.

Now I really was a bit insulted by that as to me it was based on the assumption I was not up to speed with basic safety requirements. When I told him this the reply was 'Well it's only because we care about you!'. Yeah right. 'It's only because we like to infantalise you'

He likes giving advice about car related things - i recently got a sat nav and he told me via my parents that I should always take it out of the car because of the risk of it being stolen.' Doh think I had worked that one out for myself.

Sorry to sound so ungrateful but generally I think if people want advice they will ask for it!!

[bigboydiditandranaway]

It's just how they smugly do it and how they sit there and make judgement on how you do things.

I do generally just ignore their stupid comments, i just prefer not to invite them round very often and phone only when i have to, but i suppose that suits them too, not wanting kids of their own.

[kindersurprise]

I do have to admit to thinking differently before I had children though. I can remember having an argument discussion with my DHs Granny, she was insisting that you cannot say how you would react to certain situations until you have children yourself.

I am embarrassed to say that I argued with this incredibly wise woman, and told her that even though I had no children, I know that I would do this that and the other.

She was, as ever, absolutely right.

I like the suggestion of asking if the person has been watching too much Supernanny

[geekymummy]

Oh I know that I was a bit of a prat before I had DD. I'm a bit embarrassed about how judgemental I was at times, and let's not talk about things I've said!

Oh well I've admitted that to those mums and let them enjoy being rightly smug

[bigboydiditandranaway]

yes i agree with you kinder, i'll try & remember to say that when they have a go again mind you my s&bil love arguing and would love to make a point out of anything to prove they are right & i am being ungrateful & probably hormonal and rude for not excepting their wonderfuladvice. You can choose your friends but not your family, how true that it is....sometimes i would just like to turn round and say just ---- off

[discoverlife]

My sister thinks that my disabled DH should get a job. Every time we meet she says that surely he could do something. He can afetr all use a computer. Yeh as long as he does it slowly and is careful not to twist or jar his hand. And also who in work is going to assist him to the toilet, and then unzip his flies for him and do him back up. She is such a hard hearted callous bitch I wonder if she wasn't accidently swapped at birth. Her favourite rant is that she pays taxes (we used to as well and a lot higher than she has ever done) and she doesnt mind paying for our DS2 as he can't help himself (he is SEN) but she doesn't see why she should pay for someone like DH. Spit, hiss double spit with phlemg.

[discoverlife]

Sorry got the post theme wrong, I thought this was a bash the family/ in-laws thread for any reason.
I sympathize about the problem of childless family thinking they know best. I am waiting to hear the bellows of outrage from my sis regarding taking DS out of school and Home Educating him. Should be a laugh, I can then tell here that she now needn't worry about paying for his education through her taxes.