Any other parents of screaming babies want to chat/ offload?

[pendulum]

My DD2 is nearly 11 weeks old and screams for hours every day and evening. She is growing nicely and developing properly (smiling etc) so I m not concerned about her. However, I am going up the wall. None of my friends with babies have screamers so don't really understand why I don't want to take her to social events. Part of me just wants to hide in the house, flush the phone down the loo and never speak to anyone, but the days (like today) when we are alone together all day I literally feel as if I am being driven mad by the noise.

DD1 was the same and grew out of it but I just wondered if anyone in a similar position wanted to chat/ compare notes while we wait it out!

[pendulum]

just me then

[appledumpling]

I didn't have a screaming baby at that stage but DS has his 2 top teeth coming through at the mo and is being fairly evil.

Not the same I know, but DH is away and I am going nuts.

Not much help I know but you are not alone - a friend did have a baby who cried non-stop for 12 weeks but she is now the most beautiful angelic child you could wish for. It does pass.

Have a hug for what it's worth.
x

[lizziemun]

Yes i have one

DD2 is nearly 14wks (tommorrow). She is getting better now only screams between 4pm and 6.30pm instead of when shes wake.

I know what you mean about the noise dd1 keeps telling my babies crying and can i make her stop. I just keep replying i think we discovered after 12 wks i can't.

[rachelh81]

I have one too - 7wo and driving me INSANE. Refuses to sleep on his own even though he's so tired he can barely keep his eyes open, just SCREAMS. Have to have him in bed with me at night otherwise noone would get any sleep, but during the day I try and get him to sleep in his cot/moses basket. Currently screaming the house down - DH is hoping if we leave him he'll stop but he's not showing any signs yet. There's nothing wrong - well fed, winded, clean nappy, just wants mummy all day and all night. He's hardly slept at all today. HV suggested getting a sling and carrying him round all the time, but I'm worried that will make things worse, and to be honest I need a bit of time away from him (does that sound bad?). I feel terrible for leaving him to cry but we've tried to console him for 1 1/2 hours and every time we put him down he starts again. Surely I can't be expected to hold him ALL day?!!?

[pendulum]

oh so pleased to see some replies!

lizziemun that sounds like real progress . Does DD go to sleep well in the evenings now? (my holy grail)

rachel my DD is clingy like this too and will not go to sleep in the day on her own. I have bought a couple of slings and will resort to them when desperate (and they sometimes work like magic) but I'm concerned that she's not learning to go to sleep on her own. Also, sometimes it doesn't work, and then I have a screaming thing attached to my chest, perforating my eardrums and beating her fists on my face.

wulfric- pmsl at your song, we have done exactly the same.

here is our version:

Got to sleep, go to sleep,
or your mummy and daddy
will get a divorce
and it will all be your fault

[lizziemun]

Are any of you breastfeeding.

I only managed a week this time. Tried dd2 on sma gold and she just screamed for england, is now on cow and gate easy digest and is much better.

It funny because she sleeps so much better at night then dd1 (she still woke twice a night until she was 2years). DD2 goes into her cot at about 6.45pm and goes straight of to sleep and the only wakes once about 2.30am (but not every night) then wakes about 6am.

I think it best to try () as calm as possible.

I also have borrowed a fisher price Aquarium swing www.fisherpriceshop.co.uk/fisherpriceshop/swings/g5912-aquarium-swing/g5912-aquarium-take-along-swin g.htm
and it help her settle without me having to rock her all the time.

[pendulum]

hi lizzie
yes I'm bfeeding although I have just introduced a FF for DD at bedtime. Helps me to deal with getting 2 kids to bed (DH can give the bottle) and also wanted to get her used to taking a bottle. Do you think your DD had digestive problems that were causing the screaming? I gave up bfeeding DD1 at about 12 weeks because I was convinced there was something in my milk that disagreed with her. she did calm down after that but don't know if it was the milk or just hitting the magic 12 week mark.

Also have a Fisher |Price aquarium that we bought for DD1. They seem to have discontinued the model which is a blow as DD1 is still v attached to it, so we have to put it on the landing between them! Does help DD2 to drop off although we have to keep getting out of bed to switch the thing on in the middle of the night!

[rachelh81]

I'm BFing too, have been worried I haven't got enough milk or something and that's why he's screaming, but he's putting on 8oz per week and lots of nappy changes so he must be getting something. This evening we gave him some formula to top up but sucked for about a minute then didn't want it so can't be hunger. The constant screaming only started a few days ago (used to be just at night) so I'm hoping its a 'phase' snd he'll get over it...

[pendulum]

appledumpling so sorry to ignore you, I somehow missed your post when I looked at the thread. Sorry about the teething, we had a bad time of that with DD1 as well (ended up in A&E at 2am convinced she was seriously ill, only for the doctor to diagnose.... teeth ) Extra difficult on your own, too.

here's a hug back to you x

[lizziemun]

Pendulaum

I don't think she has a digestive probelms, she just didn't settle either being breastfed or on SMA gold. I think it was/is just because of the problems i had with both pregancy and her birth.

She was breech and i had to have ECV and then i had to be induced with her.

When she was born she was a blue baby and it took a few mins for the midwives to revive her. Because of this i think we paniced every time she cryed in those first few weeks, so she learned that when she cryed either mummy or daddy would pick her up.

I also think i failed at breastfeeding because she was over 9lb and didn't have enough milk.

[karen999]

Pendulum - what is her routine like in the day? How much does she sleep? Does she go down in her cot rather than falling asleep wherever she is??

[pendulum]

hi karen
no strong routine because we have to fit around DD1. but a loose one emerging as follows-

8.30am- screams in buggy as we take DD1 to nursery. usually falls asleep, I do my food shopping, errands etc. She usually sleeps for 30-45 mins.

Lunchtime- if i let her sleep on me she will sleep deeply for up to 2 hrs. If I try to put her down anywhere else we have a big battle on our hands. She may eventually drop off alone after lots of screaming, but will wake after 10 mins (just as I have started a job like mopping floor). This will be repeated a zillion times until we are both at wits' end.

Late afternoon- she usually wants to fall asleep around 4- 4.30. Either on my lap or in sling.

Basically i either fight with her all day in the name of sleep training or i give in and hold her all day. Either way, I get nothing else done.

lizzie, sorry to hear about your frightening birth experience. i also had a traumatic delivery and took DD to cranial osteopath, thinking that might help, but I didn't notice any significant improvement. I asked about your DD's digestion because it often seems to me that DD is struggling with wind or building up for a poo and i wonder if that is behind much of the screaming.

[pendulum]

BTW rachel81 did your DS drop off on his own in the end last night?

[lizziemun]

Yes dd1 & dd2 both have trouble bringing up wind.

I found with DD1 infracol worked but didn't with dd2. With DD2 i found dentranox helps.

Mum said i was the same when i was a baby.

I do find routine does help if you can get into one not as easy second time round.

At the moment i'm trying to stick to this.

6 to 6.30 am feed

8.30ish walk dd1 to school takes about an hour there and back.

10 to 10.30am feed.

11am walk to get dd1 from school again another hour. She will then sleep untill about 2 to 3pm.

When she wakes she has another feed.

She is then awake (her screaming time) untll about 5pm when she has a nap.

6pm i bath both dd's.

6.30 to 7pm bottle and bed.

She may wake at some point between 2 and 3.30am have another feed. Then she sleep until 6amish.

[rachelh81]

Hi again. In response to your question Pendulum no DS did NOT drop off on his own last night, apart from for 20 mins in the bathroom with the shower on - he seems to like the noise! (in the moses basket not in the shower lol!) In bed with me again Its just so annoying as we had a good little routine going but the last week or so has been awful. Having said that we've had a great day today as been out with the pram where he sleeps deeply, so he's been in a great mood as he's not so tired. Silly baby, lifes so much better when you've had some sleep!

Rang the HV today to ask advice, said we'd been leaving him to cry for 10 mins at a time before going in to him (I read to do that in a book). Got a slap on the wrist for that, she said its too long for such a small baby and now I feel just awful, like the world's worst mummy

She advised to put him down when he's calm and leave the room. If (when!) he cries, wait 30 secs then go in and sshh/pat etc. leave when calm again, increase wait time to 1min, do same. keep increasing wait time by 30secs til you're waiting 10 mins, if still screaming go in and sit and hold hand/stroke. Gonna try that tonight to see if that works, i'll let you know...

[pendulum]

Rachel- as you know my DD is 11 weeks and last night was the first time she has gone to sleep at a reasonable hour (7pm) more or less on her own (i.e. we put her down calm and she managed to drop off). For weeks she has been howling until 11pm and ending up in our bed. I'm mentioning this to reassure you that your DS is not unusual- reading my post-natal thread I got very fed up cos everyone's babies seemed to go down at 7pm from very early on!

BTW if he likes white noise I would definitely investigate the fisher price products mentioned above and various CDs of vacuum, washing machine etc noise that are available. Also very good for sending adults to sleep (as if you'd need any help!)

Good luck tonight!

[pendulum]

oh, and ignore your HV. You could easily find another to tell you to wheel his pram to the end of the garden and leave him to scream for hours. Your DS will NOT be traumatised by 10 mins on his own. IMO it's more a question of what YOU can bear. I find it very very difficult to leave tinies to scream but it seems to get a lot easier around the 6-month mark

[rachelh81]

Well he's asleep - only got to 2 1/2 mins Let's see if he stays asleep now...

Thanks for all the advice and support - I will definitely check out the washing machine CDs!!!

[pendulum]

great stuff, enjoy your evening!

try littlesleepyhead.co.uk for the CDs

[walkinginaWILKIEwonderland]

Pendulum - my DS was EXACTLY the same (he's 11 months old now). He screamed CONSTANTLY. It made me SO depressed. I didn't want to take him anywhere. My BF had a baby a week after me and hers was an angel, just slept and never cried.

In the end, I changed formula to Aptamil from SMA and took DS to a Cranial Osteopath. He said that there was tension in his skull which was probably causing headaches.

Overnight my DS was a different child and is now the happiest, most fabulous little man you have ever met!

[pendulum]

thanks wilkie, I have tried CO and had great hopes for it but didn't notice any significant improvement (not enough to justify the expense at any rate!)

today was a bit better so I am tentatively daring to hope that, like DD1, she will grow out of it in the next few weeks.

it is frightening how the screaming messes with your head. glad your DS is cured!

[walkinginaWILKIEwonderland]

Oh Pendulum, you have my sympathies - I just didn't dare go anywhere with DS. What a nightmare.

GL!