Can anybody help me with a specific tantrum situation?

[ibroughtcake]

Basically we go to a music toddler type class on a Wednesday and the first activity is playing with the instruments. DD has a huge thing for the cymbals but obviously cannot have them every week as sometimes they get picked before the bag gets round to DD. So the last two times she has missed out and had a complete meltdown. This then puts her out of sorts for the rest of the time we are there which is a huge shame as she loves going to this group. Last week I turned up late on purpose so the instrument bit would be over when we got there . I don't want to keep doing this as obviously we would like to be there for the whole group and I can't spend the next few years avoiding situations where she will potentially have a tantrum if she can't get her own way.

I tried explaining to her tonight about sharing and that somebody else might want to play with the cymbals first but she was having none of it (she is going through a huge MINE phase). So what do I do

A, Just ride the tantrum out and hope in a few weeks that she realises that she can't always have what she wants and gets over it.

B, Turn up late again and avoid the situation.

C, Buy her some cymbals of her own and hopefully she won't be so bothered about the group ones? (Not ideal really)

I know it's not a huge thing but she loves this group and I don't want her not enjoying it because she is having a mini meltdown at the beginning.

[FrannyandZooey]

I would have a quiet word with the group leader and see if she can arrange it that your dd gets the cymbals

[beansprout]

Could you make a mahoosive deal about one of the other instruments and distract her? e.g Oh BRILLIANT, we got the jingle bells, I love jingle bells (jingle, jingle, lots of fascinating mummy shaking and dancing...)

[southeastastra]

get her some cymbals, then hide them when she gets fed up with them

[Desiderata]

How old exactly is your dd?

[ArmadilloDaMan]

DOn't get cymbals. Believe me i speak from experience. The tantrums are preferrable.

Also for reference don't get a drum, trumpet, maracas or in fact any musical instrument.

Just don't ok?

I'd do as beansprout says - make big fuss of whatever you do get.

[ibroughtcake]

Yes I did try the 'gosh dd look we've got the eggs how exciting!' she just gave me her 'does it look like i'm excited about the bloody eggs face'

There will be no arranging for her to have the cymbals or the next thing I know I will be arranging everything around her current whim and that can only lead to trouble

I think maybe I will just have to ride it out

or bribe with food

[ibroughtcake]

She is 2.4

[FrannyandZooey]

Well it sounds very difficult. I hope it works out ok.

[southeastastra]

she might one day be a great cymbal player

[Notquitegrownup]

ELC do nice jingle bells which you can tie around your wrists and ankles, at a v. good price. They might have a novelty value worth exploring.

If that fails, we have a small pair of cymbals, which we could pass on. They don't get used now. CAT me, if you need to.

[ibroughtcake]

lol

she just got up to listen to the fireworks and I think I may have brought her round to considering the wrist bell things

[ibroughtcake]

Thanks NQGU, but with a baby ds in the house cymbals will not be coming through the door

[emmaagain]

Buy cymbals. Keep in bag. Bring out if cymbals have already been taken by another child.

This is, what, a £5 investment, if that, in order to make your mucch bigger investment in these music classes a stress free experience for both you and your child.

I think there's too much emphasis on "sharing" with little ones, which is a concept they don't understand. Really, I think the music class leader would be better off providing enough for every child of only one kind of instrument at a time, but they often buy into this "teach 2 year olds about sharing by making them really unhappy" stuff.

[colditz]

Turn up late. eventually tantrum situation will resolve itself as she grows older and more able to deal with disappointment

[lucykate]

i think diversion tactics could be used here. on the journey to the class, start talking to her about all the other instruments in the bag, say things like 'if you get the triangle, you can make tinkly noises, its shiny, and if you get the drum it goes bash, bang!' etc, get her excited about all the different shapes, noises etc of each, that way, whichever she pulls out of the bag, you can dive straight in and say 'oh lucky you, we've just been talking about this one haven't we. call it a preemptive strike

[DynamicNanny]

Could you not sit next to the play leader every so often so that she has the first choice ?

[ibroughtcake]

Thanks for all the replies, we spent all morning talking about the different things she might get and in the end didn't even want the cymbals when she got to pick