8 year old attitude

[lifesteeth]

my once loving, obedient 8 year old has turned into Kevin the Teenager in the past few weeks, he's like a completely different kid back answering, being cheeky and rude, if I ask him something he'll say something like "what's my usual answer to this? well then" it makes me so cross, I have enough trouble with his younger brother (behavioural problems) without him starting up too...he's violent (always attacking his brother for no reason), constantly tries to annoy people, if I ask him to do something he responds with "why dont you?"...he never used to be like this. Today he blurted out to my friend "you're real small!" .

Is it his age or something else??

[amateurmum]

OMG he could be the long lost twin of my ds who is also 8. The constant refrains in my house are 'Why should I?' 'You can't make me' and 'There's no need to shout at me' (when i have said something mildly critical - not shouting!). If I suggest consequences to his behaviour he tells me 'that's just an empty threat' (OK maybe he has a point sometimes).

He is SO difficult 99% of the time but he does have lovely, caring unselfish moments so I have to hang on to those and hope that these demonstrate the real DS.

He is under quite a lot of pressure at school - very strict teacher, lots of written work and homework so I wonder if this is making him behave badly at home.
Could this be true for your DS?

[singingmum]

My ds now 12 was 6 when he did this and more.They grow out of most of it....just in time for puberty to kick in and start it all over again.AARRGGHH!!!!!

[pickledpear]

my dd9 is a real bitch sometimes and i could throttle her she has big attitude problems i sympathise with everyone

[lifesteeth]

thank god I'm not the only one. Tonight for instance I said to him "don't keep shouting please, I have a headache" so he replied with "do you? awwww didums...isnt that cute? awwww" but he too can be the sweetest boy, he will often play the role of playground 'saint' and go and sit with the kids who are upset and talk to those who need it, he's the only boy in the class that the girls will play with (he was very upset yesterday as his 'girlfriend' told him a secret, he confided in another female friend who then blabbed and he was mortified that he'd let his girlfriend down! but then he just changes and started being so awkward, selfish, lazy, cheeky you name it...

He does suffer with bullying quite a bit and he's really disliking his dad at the moment, doesnt want to continue with the fortnightly visits but has no real reason why so I can't stop them and I've asked him to hold on at school until next year when we move as I dont want him changing schools twice...

[divastrop]

why cant you stop visits to his dad if he doesnt want to go?do you think hes just being awkward or could there be a problem,i mean,did you split with his dad cos hes an a*hole or is he normal?

[amateurmum]

Seems like your ds is having a difficult time at the moment

Although I appreciate my ds' issues at school (not as upsetting as yours though - bullying so unpleasant for you and him) it doesn't make his day to day behaviour any easier to tolerate so I completely empathise with your frustration.

[lifesteeth]

well basically his dad lives with his girlfriend and her 2 children (both boys) and these boys are treat blatently different to my kids. she works nights so whilst she's in bed during the day their dad just sits and watches tv or messes about on his pc, meanwhile the other kids hog the other tv and playstation etc and my kids are sat around twiddling their thumbs. I wouldnt mind but they live NEXT to a huge park but they only get to go if she's out of bed and she'll only go if she's taking her boys too so when her boys are not there (with their own dad) they don't get to go anywhere.

Plus my eldest has never been close to his father and seems to be distancing himself more and more as he grows up...his dad has always favoured our youngest and I think DS1 is picking up on that now.

[divastrop]

i do think you need to have a word with their dad cos it doesnt sound very fair,as though he's only having them cos he has to,and you need to make sure they will be happy there.

apart from that,IME the attitude problem is typical of that age(i told my ds1(9)off for leaving his bedrrom in a mess this morning and he replied 'you'd say it was a tip if i left a speck of dust on the floor'cheeky sod).my dd1(8)doesnt know when to keep her mouth shut,and often ends up in more trouble than necessary due to answering back.