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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

Should we move house now? 33 weeks pregnant!

17 replies

flightattendant · 24/04/2007 16:02

I am really struggling with this and thought MN might be able to offer advice.
I'm 33 weeks gone and pretty tired...still trying to get the house organised and believe me it doesn't come naturally!
Have been looking for a bigger place/better location for months, but only just found one that is anywhere near our needs, and knocks this place off our top spot (was resigned to staying put as due date is getting so close - and our present house is quite nice really).
The one I'm tempted by is cheap for what it is (renting ATM, single mum, long story!) and absolutely huge - it has 3 bedrooms and 3 receptions, it's a 17th century house, all beams etc.. gorgeous. Also has a good sized, enclosed garden which I value for my boys.
It's much nearer town and supermarkets for me, currently I find it a trek as we haven't a car. I'd love that. the local school isn't any worse than the one here. (DS who is almost 4, starts in Sept. so obviously don't want to move him after that).
The main problems are these:
Mum and Dad are currently a few minutes walk up the road and Mum has DS1 several times a week. She and Dad are all the support I have with the new baby arriving soon and have been marvellous.
The new place would be a couple of miles away across town, and Mum is saying it would mean DS1 losing out on the time he spends with her.
She also says he'll be traumatised enough with the new baby and having to share my attention. (We are very close and he sleeps in my bed etc - not about to change)
She thinks the whole thing of having new surroundings will be far too much for him to cope with. I seem to remember loving moving house as a kid, but not sure if she has a point, what with new baby to contend with as well.
I'm due in, well, 7 weeks and it is bound to be stressful moving - though I'm quite happy to leave everything in boxes and just live simply after it's done. Such a big house and also very clean and new kitchen etc, so no need to go and clean it before moving in.
I'm just concerned about the timing/effect on me, thence on DS1 who doesn't need a stressed mum - though I feel energised by the whole thing and love moving anyway!
We've been where we are since DS1 was 11 months old and it's the only place he really knows. But I'd love more room for my boys and just feel it might be worth it long term, despite the parental support being slightly diminished.
What do you all think...HELP!!!

OP posts:

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fransmom · 24/04/2007 16:04

could you make it into a big adventure for him? if it's only a couple of miles away from your moms - here is always the bus

assuming there is a bus service?

FioFio · 24/04/2007 16:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

fransmom · 24/04/2007 16:06

12 weeks is still before sept tho

fransmom · 24/04/2007 16:08

it takes about 20-40 minutes to walk a mile - if your ds gets tired, would you be able to fit a buggy-board or somesuch to the pram/pushchair? it sounds like and ideal place for you but it does depend on how you would feel after having dc2.

Nbg · 24/04/2007 16:08

Eeeek, bad time IMO.
What if the sale goes through when your 40 weeks? Then what would you do?
I think the box situation would pee you off, especially if you get a mad bout of nesting

FWIW, we moved when I was 33 weeks and that was stressful enough. The sale itself made me so ill. I really wouldnt wish it on anyone.

JoPG · 24/04/2007 16:12

I moved when my DD was 3 weeks old, and tbh it was not too bad.
Guess it just depends on how organised you like to be.

MerryMarigold · 24/04/2007 16:13

our house sale went through the day ds was born! it was a nightmare as house was unlivable so I went to my parents for a bit. could your mum stay if it has 3 beds, for a bit after the baby is born? fwiw, i felt great before baby born and was thinking all about projects (ie. this house) etc. but it was a complete nightmare AFTER the baby.

IF you can genuinely move before the baby and get as much unpacking etc. done BEFORE and your mum agrees to come and visit a few times per week, then i would go for it.

flightattendant · 24/04/2007 16:14

Oops - we're not buying it, just renting again - sorry for confusion! If we did it, we'd be moving in 3 weeks or so - I'll be 36wks.

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MerryMarigold · 24/04/2007 16:16

think you should go for it then, if your mum will be supportive. if she is not supportive, you may find it quite difficult...

Nbg · 24/04/2007 16:16

ahhh well, thats a bi different.

Go for it!

flightattendant · 24/04/2007 16:16

You're right about the boxes annoying me - I lways say I'll leave the unpacking but you know how it is...

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PavlovtheCat · 24/04/2007 16:16

Did you say you were renting? If so, I think you should do it if you love the place, it sounds idylic! Could your mum use bus to come to you? If you have spare room she and your dad can stay over from time to time, to help with kids, spend some time with them?

persephonesnape · 24/04/2007 16:19

yes! go for it - it's a bit of upheaval, but you may as well get baby upheaval and house move upheaval done around about the same time rather than wait - seems to me your mum is looking at the negatives because she doesn't want you too far away. it's only a couple of miles, not australia!

flightattendant · 24/04/2007 16:24

Thanks guys. Mum is pretty dramatic about it, she tends to 'overidentify' a bit with DS and thinks he'll be traumatised by anything and everything. I think as long as he has mummy, he'll be pretty much Ok - it's just that Mum would be very handy up the road once DS2 arrives, I'm honestly not sure how I'll be coping. So don't want to risk being at end of tether with two unhappy kids and she's not immediately to hand. Worse still if she's really against the whole thing - mind you I do remember she was like this last time we moved and then decided it was a good idea after all!
Thanks for all your help - I do think it'll be worse after the baby,rather than before...God, the agent wants a decision today.

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flightattendant · 24/04/2007 16:25

Do you think DS1 will miss being near her? I think once he's at school full time anyway, it won't make much odds as she usually has him in the day.

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persephonesnape · 24/04/2007 16:37

i think you know the answer you do want the new house - give it a go, see how it is - (it sounds great! all that space! beams!) if it doesn't work out then you can move back nearer your mum. i think you'll be fine and your DS will be as well. If you're able to, let him pick out a new duvet set or pictures for the walls in his new room - i think he'll look on it as an adventure too!

babyblue2 · 24/04/2007 21:14

We moved when I was 38 weeks, it was my first time pregnant and had loads of energy. Wouldn't liked to have done it with my 2nd though, however, if it was the house we wanted, i'd have moved.

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